I'm in need of a bit of help.

[brisk]

I'm having some trouble with friends. This has been on my mind for a while.

Exposition/TL;DR: I'm a freshman in high school (fourteen). I'm with a great group of kids (honors and AP courses), but lately they have been doing some questionable things and I'm worried for them. I need advice as to what I should do.

I've been having some trouble with friends lately. Not name-calling or put-downs; as of late, my friends have been engaging in some questionable "activities." They've been doing marijuana, smoking electronic cigarettes, and engaging in sexual actions (I wouldn't mind this, but none of them are in stable relationships [or relationships at all]; they're only friends). I feel uncomfortable in these kinds of situations, and I don't like hanging around with this group of people when they enter them. I've never smoked or used any other addictive substance in any amount. I've never done anything sexual and have only gone as far as kissing with someone I honestly cared about.

Yesterday, I was at my friend's house with some other people. They started smoking and talking about things I wasn't comfortable with. Two of them actually started fighting and throwing punches (one broke her nose, another started bleeding badly). I was sickened. I told them that my mother was there to pick me up and excused myself. I walked home, alone and cold, to get away.

There's one detail very important; one thing worries me profusely. I have feelings for a very sweet and beautiful girl. She knows I do, but I haven't asked her out (I know, I know! I'm only fourteen--remember that!). She hangs around with this same group of kids. Her best friends are the ones that use drugs constantly and engage in sexual activities without questioning them. I do not want to be intrusive. I'm worried about her well-being. She has a bright future, and I don't want it to be crushed by her high school friends. None of the guys use protection, and I want her to be safe and not contract any STD's (not for me, of course; for her and for her future partner, whomever that may be). I may seem overprotective of something that isn't mine, but I'm genuinely worried for her.

What's your advice (for everything I've brought up)?

[LouBerry]

Trust me, I've been there, and you can't change your friends. If they want to change, you can help, but if they don't want to, there is nothing you can do. If this makes you uncomfortable, you need to find new friends. You are who you hang out with. Even if all these things seem unattractive now, you'll get curious eventually, especially if they start pressuring you into it.

[BebeFleur.]

Does this girl you like do drugs, etc.? You should talk to her about your concerns, not like in a put-down way, but in a friend to friend type of way.

Also, drugs under 18 ARE illegal, and therefore you should stay as far away from this group as possible to avoid legal problems. And even tip them off?

[brisk]

If this makes you uncomfortable, you need to find new friends. You are who you hang out with.

Thanks for the input! I've already started "migrating" away from this group. There's a really nice guy (what I'd call a "good influence") in some of my classes that doesn't have a whole lot of friends. He likes music a lot, so I invited him to come see a concert with me on Friday. :)

[LouBerry]

That's good. Oh, and about this girl, I think that the only way to come out not creepy is to just ask her. Then tell her that you just care for her and all that jazz.

[likemike]

You have to lead by example. Keep yourself on the straight and narrow

[SamanthaMaciel]

best thing to do is go away from them... dont even try and talk them out of it... they would throw a hissy fit... and the gurl u like..dont even bother talkin to her about her decisions... it will just be bad for u