No Idea

[western_ninja]

I have very, if not no reason to be depressed.

I live in a really nice house, my mum earns more money than most.
I have a lovely little brother whom I share a normal sibling realationship with.
I am well treated, good clothes, good food, not abused.
My wonderful grandparents live up the road.
There is no history of depression in my family.
I have plently of friends who I can trust.
My father died when I was eight, but that was quite a while ago.

Yet, every single day I have something in my head saying just do it, just jump.
Due to the type of family I come from and my family's general success I am expected to grow up attend university get a decant job...which I am trying hard to do.
I know I am probably severly depressed, I can go 3 seconds without thinking about suicide and have been like this for a good long time.
I cut my arms a while ago...it helped a bit....
After my father died i did not receive any councelling, everybody thought I would be ok. I don't know if I am depressed because I lost him...
I do not have anyone to talk to about the way I feel, my friends wouldn't know what to do if I said anyhting, my mum would just say something like "don't be ridiculous, u can't be depressed, " because when I'm around people I seem perfectly happy, I just slowly die inside.
I can't really complain about anyhting, all I know is that I need help. I don't know if I have managed to put my situation or feelings acroos weel enough but beleive me I am very depressed. Do I have a certain kind of depression? Where I don't appear sad, but am incredibly?
There are many people far worse off than me, this is just my minor problem. It, however, is still my problem therefore I have to deal with it.

[Patchy]

Well first I'd like to say I'm sorry for your loss, I think you need to dicuss these issues with someone close to you like your grandparents or your mother since its important to get it out so they know.

[byee]

Add that simply lovely accent to your list of virtues, too! I think the Scots rule when it comes to The King's English!

Anyway, even if you take an inventory of all the things in your life and find yourself not wanting, you can still be depressed. Maybe it was your dad's passing, maybe it was the ensuing loss of not having him in your life, maybe it's the expectations you feel, who knows? What's causing it isn't as important as the fact that it's there. And surely if you think about suicide, and have tried cutting yourself, there's something pretty intense going on. I think it would be best to impress upon your mum that you'd like to talk with someone and that it's important and you need her to help you with this. It might be a good idea to let her know about your suicidal thoughts and the cutting so she gets the full impact of how unhappy you are.

I think it must be hard for parents to acknowledge that their kids are unhappy, especially when they might be unhappy for the same reasons as they are. But, good, loving parents are usually able to set aside their own feelings if they can see clearly the needs of their kids. Calmly tell her how unhappy you are and tell her you need her help getting to someone.

[thesphinx]

Your dad's passing could have a big impact on this, but we can't tell you. you need to go to a counselor/psychologist of some sort. and you will be able to get the root of why you are depressed. think of it as a onion. you have to peel it layer by layer until you get to the middle. and there could be a few tears along the way. It took me a long time to figure out why I was depressed and many many layers. but once you get and you know why you feel the way you feel then you can work on it from there. you cannot treat depression until you know why you are depressed. I hope it all works out for you.

[western ninja]

Add that simply lovely accent to your list of virtues, too! I think the Scots rule when it comes to The King's English!

If you like a Scottish accent, Ayrshire (where I come from) has a very strong one indeed!

Not as jumpy or as up and down as the more northern accents lol =]


Glad you share the same views as me =P

[Hyper]

? What's causing it isn't as important as the fact that it's there. .

Actually that is the most important thing about depression.. If you ''cure'' depression momentarily without acknowledgeing the causes to yourself, you are just ''bottling up'' feelings that will come back in the future..

You in reality do know whats wrong but its sometimes hard to admit it.. I think your fathers death still affects you in a way, and I think the way your family is and thinks of you might also cause it..

But I don't know your family.. So I suggest you go to the person you most trust and tell him/her whats wrong and yes you should go see a professional to clarify things.

[western ninja]

thanks for everyones help=]

[thesphinx]

If you ever need to talk we'll be here. hope everything works out for you.
(But please remember to NEVER bottle your emotions up)