i want you to want me

[mynameisjane]

i hang out with guys. they always criticizing women's bodies, and they call the most beautiful women disgusting. im pretty sure they only get into relationships for sex. dont get me wrong, theyre pretty cool friends. sometimes, though not recently, they seemed to think i'm attractive. i know none of them would ever fall in love with me. and yet i need to feel like they still think i'm attractive. and thats why im always working out, and dieting, and binging, and throwing up. i want so badly to have the perfect body so i can flaunt it to them and i want them to drool over me. sometimes i do, but i know it wouldnt be good, to get into a relationship with any of them. maybe i just want all guys to drool over me. because no one ever does. people are only vaguely attracted to me every so often. i pretty much center my life around being a lovable person, being nice to everyone, always smiling, trying not to be fat. im even going to be a kindergarten teacher, because every kindergartener loves their teacher.

SO WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS i dont undertand why i think the way i do. i know its horrible that i have an obsessive need for my friends to be sexually attracted to me, so i can reject them, or just to have that temptation of meaningless sex. but i worry that its the closest ill ever get to being loved.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Aw, man...

1. They sound like pigs. Sorry but your description of these "friends" makes them sound like mindless sex beasts. Not very good friends or PEOPLE you should want to like you.

2. You are beautiful.

3. YOU are beautiful.

4. You ARE beautiful.

5. You are BEAUTIFUL.

6. See how saying that to yourself sounds. You'll find it to be true.

7. Don't EVER resort to binging and throwing up! You're certainly worth more than this to be destroying your body for THE WORST kind of guys! Someone loves you, and you love them, and one day SOMETHING will happen. You don't have to want these types of guys "drooling" over you. I'd much rather have an occasional guy actually LOVE me for a chance instead of wanting to screw me!

8. You are beautiful. Do I need to add it again?

Hang in there :wub: :yeah:

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

I agree with every point! Although one thing was left out...

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! :D

[Hyper]

You just wanna be loved, theres nothing wrong with that.. Just don't let your search for beauty go to extremes.. And as always we're here if you need us :)

[angryhalfdemon]

SO WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS i dont undertand why i think the way i do. i know its horrible that i have an obsessive need for my friends to be sexually attracted to me, so i can reject them, or just to have that temptation of meaningless sex. but i worry that its the closest ill ever get to being loved.

You don't have to settle with men drooling over you or meaningless sex. You WILL be loved. It's natural for teens to worry about this kind of stuff. I know. I did. I still do sometimes. But you don't have to go to extremes to make yourself look "beautiful" for THOSE kind of guys. Eventually, you are going to meet a guy who falls in love with you for your PERSONALITY, not physical looks. And besides, high school is in my opinion a BAD place to pick up long lasting relationships, because none of them really last long, and most teen males tend to think with their genitals. After high school, a whole new larger world is opened to us. Whether you're planning to work or go into university, you're going to meet like... :P eleventy-million people!! Especially for Uni. And if you center your life around being happy and nice, then I can tell you for CERTAIN that you'll meet plenty of nice guys, because those are two very attractive characteristics. :D

[mynameisjane]

thanks. idk, i just want someone to like me. i know it probably wont last, but i see other people happy in a relationship and i wonder "whats wrong with me that no one ever feels that way about me?" so i tried to make myself more likable. i ask my friends, "whats wrong with me?" and they say nothing, just keep being myself. but that hasnt gotten me anywhere.

[angryhalfdemon]

I know, sometimes I wonder too, "What's taking my 'dream girl' so long to appear?" :) you just have to be patient. One possibility is there is a nice guy who likes you RIGHT NOW (possibly someone you know even), but he's too shy to tell you. Ya never know :P