Should I take some distance or stay close to him?

[JonasBe]

SPOILER: This is a very long post, so sorry for that.


Well, I'm currently in a bad situation...

I have met a boy and in real short time we became real close.
He has already a relationship with someone, and I knew that when I got to know him. I myself am single.

We really got on really well and he came to my house a couple of times and we just could talk and have fun for hours. Also all day long texting each other, and real sweet texts. None sexual texts at all btw, but all very sweet texts, and very soon also I love you etc... Soon I really fell for him, and I also got signals from him that he was into me.

But I didn't know what to do... I knew he was together with another boy, and he liked him a lot, but I did get mixed signals. So was it worth confessing my feelings for him hoping that he would say the same and leave the other one for me?

There was always the chance that he didn't feel the same way about me and by confessing my feelings it could ruin an awesome thing we had.

I confessed my feelings and indeed, he didn't want to leave his current bf, but he was glad I told him and he ensured me nothing would change. But I'm kinda panicky and paranoia and did something very stupid and hurt his feelings, and he didn't want to talk to me again and broke off contact.

This lasted one month and a half and I was 99% percent over him, sometimes I thought about him or visited his fb profile, but wasn't really bothered by it anymore.

Last week I took one final shot at re-establishing contact, and miraculously we started to talk again. He said he could forgive but not forget, and that I didn't need to expect a lot in the beginning. But after a week we could talk again like old times, well, almost. I came round his house to help him with his computer and I expected it to be a little awkward in the beginning but I was wrong. It was like we never had a fight, really had a fun time, and He only had 2 hours really before he had to do some shopping with his friends, but I stayed for 4 hours and he was really late lol.

He said me it was fun and I told him to meet again soon and he agreed.
But of course, my feelings for him re-appeared at the speed of light so now again I never can stop thinking about him, you know the drill, when you are in love it sucks sometimes how you feel.

I'm not entirely sure we are back at the stage before we had a fight, and we don't text as much as we used to, but when we talk it feels just right.
I know from what he said when we had a fight that he also really liked me but loved his bf and never would cheat on him. (And I wouldn't want him to cheat on him for me, because he might cheat on me afterward... Not wanting to cheat is a good sign).

So if it wasn't for that boyfriend we probably would be together.
I know what some of you guys are thinking, if he really would like you he would leave his bf for you so it's impossible, but I know when someone is dating, normally he just doesn't get feelings for someone else, because he's in a state of mind that he's in a relationship, or something...

To make a very long story short, I have a dilemma here...
Should I take some distance from him, having to deal with trying to forget him and try to become close again once he is single again (He's 17 (I'm 19), I don't expect relationships to last for ever at that age, so there's a good chance he'll be single sooner or later.

Or should I just stay close and have a great time every time we meet or talk but have to suffer constantly when we don't? I also have the risk of getting eternally friendzoned by the time he's single again...

I don't know which scenario gives me the best chance of maybe having something together... I rarely fall in love, last time it happened was 3 years ago... So I know this is serious and I really like him in like every way. So he's worth the wait for me. But the thought of being friendzoned is just not appealing... Then again, losing him as a friend again also doesn't appeal to me...

I'm sorry for the extremely long post, but I'm really getting bonkers here, and could use some advice. Just haven't got a clue what to do...

[Imfeelinglostagain]

I'd suggest sticking around. If you put distance between you guys and he becomes single he'll probabl feel like you hurt him again and that would ruin any chance of dating. Good luck :)

[DannyBoy_892]

In my opinion, I think you should stick around and just stay friends. You see, if you completely drop him out of the blue he's most likely going to be confused and kind of hurt. By sticking around and making a solid relstionship/friendship, when he does leave his other boyfriend(if he does)he will most likely want to go for you for support. Now I'm not telling you to take advantage of his break up(if it does happen) but you should still try to comfort him in any way possible. I say, enjoy the time you have to spend with him right now. I undertsnad what your going through because I had a similar problem. From experinece, I know that seeing him with someone else hurts and you must love him so much, but I wouldn't rush into it. Take it slow and I'm sure everything will be alright in the end!
-Really hope this helped!

[JonasBe]

Well, there has been some evolution.

I kept my distance for a couple of days because I noticed I was always the one starting the conversations and started texting. So I wanted to see if he would take initiative or not.

For a week I almost didn't hear from him and I thought oh well, maybe he doesn't need me after all. Two days ago he posted on facebook he wanted a jogging partner for good weather. I am at the moment doing the Insanity programme, so some extra jogging wouldn't hurt, but I didn't react to it. Just let it go by. A couple of hours later his status was already deleted.

Yesterday while I was driving home I saw he was online on facebook but didn't say anything, (my dad was driving this time). I closed my phone again and suddenly he began to talk to me, yay. He was home sick from school for already a few days, but he was actually feeling okay, so not really sick anymore, but anything to skip school lol. And he said he was bored so I said I'd come over (he only lives 1 mile away).

We first talked and then watched the latest episode of Glee (yes I know, it's gay but we both love it to bits). After that we had a really flirty pillow fight for almost an hour. (yes, thats also quite gay but it was good fun) but he fought dirty and it was even a little flirty. Then he wanted to do something else, so he proposed to do truth, do or dare. (again, really gay but fuck it (no pun intended) )

We started with normal things, and then he asked me when the last time was I had sex. I said I really didn't keep a calendar, but around 4 months or so. He responded oh well my boyfriend and I are finished, he lied to me. I didn't knew he was single! So yay that was something I actually wanted to hear.

Then he made me do things like walking circles with my pants down (only my jeans) but he got more and more explicit and we both ended up choosing do almost every time.
I really wanted to make him kiss me so bad but I just was too afraid that would put him off so I stalled it and said I didn't know anything. Then I asked him to sing a song (he does acting and singing in a group). But his voice suffers still a little bit from his sickness so he simply refused. I couldn't find anything else and he was going like come on... make me do something... come on be crazy for once. So I flapped it out with a grin... Ok here's something crazy: kiss me!

And he was like: Make me!
So I stood up, went to him and pushed him softly against the wall, took hold of is hands and we kissed. I waited 3 months for that moment... So I was really overjoyed.
We both are very open about things and the game continued. Then he got me so far to strip both my pants down and walk circles in the room and I even did it lol.

Normally I wouldn't to something like that, but because we are very open and the fact I just kissed the boy I really really love made me feel like fuck it and down go the pants. I said I didn't want to because I was having a semi-boner but he said it's ok.

I also made him lay down on his bed with his eyes closed so I could kiss him again so I climbed over him and we began to kiss again. Of course I had a boner, because when you love someone and you kiss, for a boy it's almost impossible not to sport a boner.
So he began to rub my inner thigh while kissing and also unbuttoned my pants and gave me a short blowjob.

I was quite surprised actually by that, that he moved so fast. Though it felt great, I didn't let him finish and just started kissing him again and I laid myself next to him, caressing his hair and chest and we talked a little bit.

And then his mom came suddenly home and I had to leave in a hurry :( :(
I really was filled with joy, I made a giant leap forward but I'm still left with doubts.

What if this was all just a game for him and that he was just feeling a bit horny. (he admitted earlier before we began our pillow fight that he was a little bit horny because he was home alone for 3 days.)

Because when I got home we chatted a little bit on fb but in the meantime he was playing minecraft, so we didn't have a very long conversation.
At the moment I don't know what to think because since I left he is a little bit distant, half an hour ago we also had a very short conversation and he seemed a little bit short in his answers. But he's worrying about his performance today, last week he had a performance, also today and next week. And because his noise is congested he can't sing very well and he's worrying. So I guess it's a little bit natural.

And I also understand things need to sink in a little bit, he's been only single for a week now (his relationship started begin January till last week, so only 4 months) and I completely understand that its not like we are a couple now.

But I want to be. So next time we'll meet I'll talk about it, that I really still love him and want to be together with him. But there are these times that he just seems so distant so sometimes I just don't know what to think.

If yesterday was only because he was in the mood well I would be hurt. And that's my biggest fear. I don't want to be able to kiss him when he's in the mood for it, I want us to be a couple and I don't want to be used.

But after all what happened yesterday I find it hard to believe that is was just a game, so I hope it'll turn out fine eventually, but I always go out from the worst case scenario, so until I know for sure I will always have those fears...

To be continued :)