Divorce

[Atonement]

My parents divorced when I was very young. The became divorced when I was about one or two year old. I currently live with my mother. My dad technically have every other weekend, alternating holidays, their own birthdays, and mother/father's day. Though, because I am older, I find it difficult to visit him that often. When I do see my dad, he tends to spoils me and my siblins as if to make up for leaving my mom. I would love to see him more than I do, but it is very hard to find time to see him. Also, because I was so young when they seperated, I have absolutely no clue what it is like to have both biological parents together. It is like there is a missing void in my life. Does anyone have any ideas on what to do to help myself become happier and have a better relationship with my parents.

[Whisper]

I'm sorry man
that must be hard
I honestly am not sure how to help other than enjoy the time you do have
stop stressing that its so rare and just enjoy when it does happen

my parents fight allot
constantly
they always have
it gets very very bad at times
they split for a yr and that was the calmest happiest yr of my life as far as my relationship with them

[thesphinx]

Sorry, thats got to be hard. I really wouldn't have any idea because i've never had to deal with something like that. If you ever need to talk feel free. :)

[Sapphire]

What I have found is that I'm happier with both parents able to lead happy lives with other people as opposed to unhappy and stressful lives together.

Enjoy the time you have with your dad and relax a bit. By stressing about how irregularly you spend time with him you aren't doing yourself any favours. Maybe you could ask your mum if you could spend a bit more time with him too.

[whiterecyclables94]

i was in the exact situation u were in until my dad died. My parents got a divorce when i was like 3 or 4 so i dont remember them together but i do remember when they got divorced. I would go and spend the night at my dads house every Saturday night. I dont think that ur dad spoils you as to say sorry that he broke up with your mom i think that he spoils you because he wants you to have a special relationship with him....to bond with him. That is what my dad did but i never realized it at the time. the way to make yourself happier is to find a couple of special things that you and your dad can do together. Like my dad got some fire crackers and we would go down to the Los Angeles river and light them off or we could go on a drive late at night up in the hills to see the LA lights...these little things definetly made me happier and they made the bond with my dad and i even stronger. The missing void in your life is completely natural...everyone has one. My missing void is that i dont have a "father figure" in my life anymore your just going to have to live with it...its your "cross to bear"

[Hyper]

Ugh if your father is a normal person. (Unlike mine.. Kind of...) Just enjoy the time you do have and if you want to see him more often like you said.. Find as much time as possible

Thats all there is to it.

[The Batman]

tell them and ask if you can have 1 family dinner together at a restaurant i'm sure they'll understand

[byee]

You know, I think living in an intact family is sometimes overrated, it's like the grass seeming to be greener on the other side of that darn fence we all have in our minds. Still, it's easy to understand why you'd feel a sense of loss. I imagine it would be nice to at least experience that grass first hand.

What's important, i think, isn't so much having them together or experiencing them together, but rather strengthening your relationship with them, seperately. The quality of the relationships in intact families, or seperated families is determined by the bonds between members, not merely geography. So, with your dad (and your mom, too), it might be a good idea to let them know what you'd like in your relationship, and regardless of how difficult it might be to plan it and work it in, to try anyway. And, another thing that might help is to arrange 'private time' with them, when you're with him/her, alone, without any brothers/sisters.

We get caught up in our lives, things get difficult to change or modify, but by asking, and sometimes jiggling the schedule a bit, things can change. Maybe you can talk with them about this.

[western ninja]

From what I have heard from numerous people, it is far easier to have parents who are seperated and happy, than to have to live in a house with two people always screaming at each other.
I do not, however, think the situation is very good, but I am just trying to let you know that your maybe better off with diorced parents.
Anyway...I can't give you much more advice than what has been said above...just take time to think about what you really want and try and figure out some ways to get it. I hope it works out for you.

[Atonement]

the thing is, I cant remember a time when my parents were together. They spereated when I was so young I never even knew what it was like to have both parents together

[byee]

It's hard to miss something you never had. You can feel a loss, but I would guess it's different than having had something, experienced it, and then had it taken away.

Closeness in families isn't the result of living together, I think it comes from alot of work. You can still have that closeness with your dad even if he lives away, you just have to work at it. Maybe you can talk with him about it, what you want, and find a way to schedule it in and make it happen.

[Atonement]

Though, because there is not a strong relationship with my father at all, I can't really talk to him about it, and its just straight up awkward. Also, a schedule wouldn't work because I am in so many activities all the time. Thanks for the help everyone, but I don't think there is much for me to do...

[liveandlearn]

Sry, i know it sucks, my parents just got divorced and i was used to having them around now i never see my mom because shees out with her drugged up bf

GOOD LUCK WERE HEAR FR YA =)