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Origami
April 11th, 2013, 01:24 AM
It's nearly 2:30 in the morning and what am I doing? I'm writing random scribbles and calling them poems instead of properly editing them into such when I wake.
These ideas are an odd view on my previous relationship. It seemed that after tendering our relationship for three years, things changed drastically and almost overnight she became someone I barely recognized. Now she is so far from the girl I loved for so long, that I might as well call her a stranger.


Usher in the Twilight's blooming,
Innocent eyes shine one last time.
Behold, how this most despairing flower
Has cut you amid your prime.

It seems your tendered creation
Was concealing thorns after all.
They warned you of the danger of
Those which made others seem banal.

But you took heed not to those
Who sought to protect your heart,
Until the vines were intertwined
And your demise had come to start.

Now in the Twilight's blooming,
Your efforts have gone in vain
But lift your self on high in this hour
For your dignity you must maintain.

paulw
April 12th, 2013, 12:08 AM
Nice composition!!

I rly liked the way the last stanza (is that the right word?) echoed the first not just in the blooming but also even the flower/hour which was subtle.

And also, awww saddd!

Origami
April 12th, 2013, 01:04 AM
Nice composition!!

I rly liked the way the last stanza (is that the right word?) echoed the first not just in the blooming but also even the flower/hour which was subtle.

And also, awww saddd!

Oh, my. The echoed rhyme wasn't intentional. I hadn't even noticed it until now.

But thanks.