How do you know if you are bi or gay?

[PaintedWishes]

Hi all,

I've seen a few people post here that they are bisexual. How do you tell if you are, and not just attracted to that one (or two) person(s)?

I've never actually had sex yet - I've been brought up by pretty strict parents in a religious background so I have the whole 'no sex before marriage' rule kinda ingrained in me. So I have no experience with either gender in that area.

However, I've dated guys before when I was younger. But haven't been in a serious relationship for about 3-4 years because I just suddenly lost interest in the guys around me. I still have male celebrity crushes though but none in real life. However with girls, I realise that nowadays when I see a really pretty or hot girl I can't stop looking at her and fawning over her. I also have a major crush on Miranda Kerr and Kristen Stewart. (wtf right? xD)

But yeah, I'm not sure now. I've never done anything with a girl before but I definitely would be curious to try. Just that I hang out with pretty straight/conservative people and I know they won't be into that kinda experiments haha

[Ryhanna]

How do you know? That's a good question. You just sort of.. 'do.'

It's something that might take a while to figure out, but when you really think about it, and take the time to explore your feelings - maybe even try it out, you'll know. You have to think about it, though. Are you attracted to the female body, or just blown away by a particular woman? You really have to question yourself to come to an answer.

[PaintedWishes]

How do you know? That's a good question. You just sort of.. 'do.'

It's something that might take a while to figure out, but when you really think about it, and take the time to explore your feelings - maybe even try it out, you'll know. You have to think about it, though. Are you attracted to the female body, or just blown away by a particular woman? You really have to question yourself to come to an answer.

Yeah that's what I meant when I asked if bis/gays prefer a certain gender or if it is the individual that they are attracted to.

And tbh, I'm not sure. I am not attracted to any of my close female friends - I cannot imagine kissing them at all. But there have been girls in my high school where I thought of kissing them but obviously never had the guts to do anything.

I think the biggest thing holding me back from even trying all this stuff is initiating it or showing my friends. I'm scared of what they would think even though I know I shouldn't. And the worst thing would be if it got back to my parents. I know I would disappoint them forever :/

[teen.jpg]

You can be a bisexual person with a preference. The main indicator is that you have an emotional/physical attraction to both genders at least once. Does that mean that you can go without dating a certain gender and still identify as bisexual? Yes, yes it does.

You can be straight, you can be gay, pan, or anything else and still BE bisexual. It's a label. You can choose to identify as it, but if you ARE bi, then you ARE bi.

Understand?

[naglfari]

Yeah that's what I meant when I asked if bis/gays prefer a certain gender or if it is the individual that they are attracted to.

And tbh, I'm not sure. I am not attracted to any of my close female friends - I cannot imagine kissing them at all. But there have been girls in my high school where I thought of kissing them but obviously never had the guts to do anything.

I think the biggest thing holding me back from even trying all this stuff is initiating it or showing my friends. I'm scared of what they would think even though I know I shouldn't. And the worst thing would be if it got back to my parents. I know I would disappoint them forever :/

are there guys you think are hot or whatever, and would want to kiss? if so then you're bi. if not you're gay :P at least thats what it sounds like to me.

[PaintedWishes]

That's a pretty straight forward way to put it xD

I've kissed guys before. And it was okay. I've seen movies/videos of girls kissing and it looks way more sensual and soft. It makes me wanna try it out :P

[naglfari]

ok but do you WANT to kiss guys. like, do you think , 'oh that guys hot i wanna do stuff with him'? like the equiv of a girl boner i guess to put it really crudely lol

[PaintedWishes]

Haha thankfully girls don't have boners. I can't imagine the mortifying experience of getting one in public!!

But anyway no. I haven't had any dirty thoughts of guys recently tbh :/ if I see a good looking guy I think 'damn he's hawt!' But I don't actually have sexual thoughts of him.