Problem with Labels

[spl23456]

I see that labeling yourself is a really tough thing to do and usually just leads to further pain and stress. But right now I am kind of at the stage where I have accepted that I am at least not straight, but don't know how to actually explore or experiment. If I don't come out with a label, people won't know that I am seeking a same-sex relationship, just like I wouldn't know about them. And I know it is a big mistake to try to ask out a straight guy. And I am not even sure if I would want to come out before actually having experience. What is the next step after coming to terms with your sexuality within yourself? Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Any advice?

[xmojox]

Maybe use conversation. Talk about LBGT issues...marriage, discrimination, things like that. But not in a crowd. Better one on one, I'd think. You're more likely to get honest answers not answers tailored to please a crowd. Not knowing how old you are, this question's a little harder to answer, but what might be appropriate or workable for someone 13 or 14 wouldn't be for someone 18 or 19. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

[Ryhanna]

Sexuality is frustrating, isn't it? It's tough enough to figure out how you feel, and you have absolutely no idea how anyone else might be feeling.

Try discussing sex and sexuality with a friend. Asking thought-provoking, yet not forward questions like 'what's your opinion on same-sex marriage?' and (to a lesser extent, I suppose) 'would you ever consider going out with a guy?' Asking these questions, in a way that you don't come off as trying to get into his pants, might give you some indication of whether or not he'd be interested in you.

Alternatively, befriend people that you know are gay. Explain to them the way you're feeling, and chances are that they've felt the same. Maybe they'll help you to confirm your feelings.

[TerryBerry622]

Im still trying to figure out my sexuality and I am 17
it all comes with time

[lyriclover]

In the LGBTQ community theres a term for someone that is in the community but doesnt want to place themself under a certain letter. The term is "Queer". When someone identifys as queer it means either they believe they fall in none of the letters, or do not wish to label themselves specifically.

[spl23456]

Maybe use conversation. Talk about LBGT issues...marriage, discrimination, things like that. But not in a crowd. Better one on one, I'd think. You're more likely to get honest answers not answers tailored to please a crowd. Not knowing how old you are, this question's a little harder to answer, but what might be appropriate or workable for someone 13 or 14 wouldn't be for someone 18 or 19. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

I am 15, so in the middle of the ages you gave. What does that mean?

[xmojox]

I am 15, so in the middle of the ages you gave. What does that mean?

Lots of guys my age do sleepovers and maybe sometimes things happen. That's all I meant....

[teen.jpg]

You don't have to use a label. You don't have to come out. All those people that say you HAVE to are wrong.

Sure, a label helps you identify with other people, but that's the thing. Labels are only used for people who don't understand sexuality, and you have to "come out" because you're "different".

You also don't HAVE to experiment to figure out your sexuality. I didn't. All you really have to do is think long and hard about it, and you should come to a conclusion.

[spl23456]

You don't have to use a label. You don't have to come out. All those people that say you HAVE to are wrong.

Sure, a label helps you identify with other people, but that's the thing. Labels are only used for people who don't understand sexuality, and you have to "come out" because you're "different".

You also don't HAVE to experiment to figure out your sexuality. I didn't. All you really have to do is think long and hard about it, and you should come to a conclusion.

Sure, but then how can I explore it? After figuring it out yourself, have you dated anyone? What's your plan?