MAJOR Crush...What to do?

[BebeFleur.]

Grey-First post
Blue-Update #1
Orange-Update #2
Purple-Update #3
Pink-Update #4


Okay, so I have this HUGE crush on this guy in my grade ♥ Let's call him Simon (not his real name)

About him+me
♥I have known him for 6 years as a friend...well kind of lol
♥I CANNOT stop thinking about him!
♥I think about him a lot...when something new happens (I wish I could tell him), when I feel sad, happy, horny , see a married couple, see a couple fighting (lol), see happiness...
♥I have never told him, only four close friends know
♥We are in a lot of things together
♥Like, I mean a HUGE crush x.x I can picture us being married and everything
♥I try to focus on his bad characteristics but it doesn't help me stop liking him...it just me become more attached
♥I love him for his good and bad characteristics
♥We have a similar job career (both in math)
♥If it got public I liked him it would be insane...people think of me as the "innocent, sweet nerd" and he's like the "smart, funny, jerk" (but that's just because he tries to get attention...he's got mine, lol!) and people would be like OMG (like my one friends reaction)
♥If he found out it would make out friendship awkward
♥We have contrasting personalities (eg in a relationship he would bring more humor and problem solving and I would bring rationalization and organization, though I am fun :) )
♥I know a bit about him (career goal, birthday, etc.)
♥Our relationship is teasing
♥We are both in band
♥We are both in Gifted classes
♥I've tried to make 'small talk', but he is usually with his friends and when he isn't he's usually running late :/
♥He floods my phone with useless texts/random messages...he knows it bugs me :P I kinda find it cute though :)

Friends
♥Let's say I have 4 friends (not real names), Shay, Lexa, Zaya, and Mary.
♥Shay: Knows I like him (no details tho), she found out by accident...I can't really talk to her about stuff like this
♥Lexa: Knows I like him a bit...Can talk to her about somewhat...not too many details
♥Zaya: Knows I like him ALOT...knows all details...Can tell her anything
♥Mary: Knows I like him a bit...has a crush of her own...can talk to her quite a bit, though not as much as Zaya
♥Everyone in my grade thinks Shay and Simon would be a "perfect couple"...she used to like him, doesn't anymore (kind of hates him)...kind of awkward
♥Lexa and Simon are together after school a day or two a week due to like a after school watching thing

Difficulties:
♥We are never alone together :(
♥I'm not allowed to date?? :(
♥You know how sometimes people say, "think about the negatives"? Well, I do, and I love him for who he is, not he good qualities, but his whole self. It just makes me feel stronger about him x.x
♥My mom knows his mom so it's kiiiinda awkward...

So I guess here's my question: Is this relationship doomed and should I stop thinking about him or do something? And how?
Question update: Well, I guess I can't ask him out, but I can still flirt, right? ;) What are some good ways to show him I'm interested without being OVERLY obvious? (Remember, this is a young teen boy, so nothing TOO subtle :P Besides, I can't get introuble with my mom if HE asks me out. And if he does, we can go from there and see what my mom will/will not allow.
Or should I just forget about him? I'm still young... And how?

[justagurl]

This is really cute lol
Does he show any interest in you as well? like does he have a crush on you too?
Maybe hint to him subtly that you want him as more than a friend (if you havent already). He should catch on, but dont like throw yourself at him or do anything that will make him think you are crazy or obsessed.

The only huge obstacle is that you said you aren't allowed to date, you are going to need to work that out with your parents beforehand because it is not worth the trouble in the end if you date him behind your parents back.

Good Luck :)

[peaceNlove]

I think that it could be a good relationship. The downside that you can't date is really tough though. You would have to convince your parents that this guy is good for you. The first step is trying to find out if he likes you. Do you ever flirt with him?

[peaceNlove]

This is really cute lol
Does he show any interest in you as well? like does he have a crush on you too?
Maybe hint to him subtly that you want him as more than a friend (if you havent already). He should catch on, but dont like throw yourself at him or do anything that will make him think you are crazy or obsessed.

The only huge obstacle is that you said you aren't allowed to date, you are going to need to work that out with your parents beforehand because it is not worth the trouble in the end if you date him behind your parents back.

Good Luck :)

Lol we kind of said the same thing. Great minds think alike:D

[BebeFleur.]

I know...this is hard :/

Well, I have flirted, but I don't know if he gets that I'm flirting, and not just being friendly...

I don't know...my mom's the stricter type, you know, she won't let me wear bikinis, make-up, and is always like, "Oh, why do kids your age date? Its so stupid!" She has teased me by saying "Oh, I think you two would be so cute together" but not literally, because I have always been defensive about it, like "Eww, no way!" So I kind of backed myself out of that before I developed feelings for him.. :/

[asg666]

From a guys point of view: Just ask him out! I'm pretty much exactly like your crush(but not so good at math... :/) and if indeed we are alike, he's just a little shy regarding asking girls out!
Again, ask him out! I'm sure he'll say yes!

[BebeFleur.]

Problem A) I can't date
Problem B) How do I ask him out? Without ruining our friendship...
Problem C) What do I say? People at my school don't do things outside of school...its weird...My school is odd...

[peaceNlove]

I know...this is hard :/

Well, I have flirted, but I don't know if he gets that I'm flirting, and not just being friendly...

I don't know...my mom's the stricter type, you know, she won't let me wear bikinis, make-up, and is always like, "Oh, why do kids your age date? Its so stupid!" She has teased me by saying "Oh, I think you two would be so cute together" but not literally, because I have always been defensive about it, like "Eww, no way!" So I kind of backed myself out of that before I developed feelings for him.. :/

I'm sorry, i don't know how to help you with your mom. I can't tell you anymore than what I did. How old will your mom allow you to date? If you still want me to give you advice on how to talk to him, I can.

[BebeFleur.]

I'm not really sure :/ She's the type that jokes around saying "until you're thirty" so maybe when I'm a Sophomore or Junior she may let me.

[BebeFleur.]

Still looking for info! :) Also added updates. :)

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Just ask him something along the lines of "hey, wanna go do (insert thing to do) on (insert day). If he likes you he'll say yes. And you can tell your mom that you are just hanging out. He, like most teenage guys, is probably shy around girls and is afraid to ask them out. I know I am, I can talk to them and have a conversation but I cannot for the life of me ask them out. It won't ruin the friendship, if I was him I would gain respect for you after that, seeing as you were able to express your feelings and take the risk.

[BebeFleur.]

By asking him to do anything on his own free will and time besides something school related would be considered a date by anyone in the schol and by my mom. Our school is really, really weird. Rarely do people hng out with opposite genders. Our cliques are not normal. Normal schools cliques are usually the jocks, wanna bees, cheerleaders, nerds, etc. Our school has popular guys, popular girls, wanna bee girls, normal guys, and the rest of us are all weird to them. The only time the guys and girls are intermixed is when there is a relationship.

My life is so confusing :(

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Tell your mom you're going to hang out with a female friend then

[BebeFleur.]

I can't lie. :/ Besides, my mom is one of those parents that makes sure there is an adult person there...so that kinda blows it :/

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Then tell her that you and the guy are just friend and it isn't a date

[BebeFleur.]

It's just hard. :/ And we'd need "adult supervision"...our town has a lot of crime...

And trying to talk to him is hard... We never really have anytime together alone, and I never know what to say...

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Tell your mom you are going to a female friends house and there is an adult there. If you can't lie and she won't let you hang out with a male you're screwed

[BebeFleur.]

Thanks...That was somewhat not helpful...

I can't lie :/

What about suggestions for talking to him? Flirting? Etc.?

[thatguywhosaysEH]

Why can't you lie?

What about school dances? Or going to a movie with a big group of friends and inviting him along?


Can't help you with flirting, I know nothing of that shenanigans.

Edit: Since your mom knows his mom wouldn't that mean she knows the guy and would trust you with him? Or even allow you to go to his house because she is friends with his mother.

[BebeFleur.]

A) Because I can't go missing for explained reasons. Because I don't want my mom to lose my trust. Because I don't want her to call my friend's house and the freak out because I'm not there.


~~~~~

B) School dances he never comes to...I only go because of NJHS. We have no movie theaters nearby and none of us can drive.

~~~~~~~

C) Okay

~~~~~~
D) No...not really....She would never let me date :/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay then...how about ways for me to forget about him?

[thatguywhosaysEH]

B) Ask him to go to the next one with you. You'd already be going.

D) But tell her that it isn't a date, you're just hanging out the same as you would with any female friend

[superisaiah'99]

You are definitely SPRUNG with that guy

[Synyster Shadows]

Ok, I've been in this same situation many times. The best advice I can give would be to just go on with life like normal. Only time will heal something like this. Trust me; I had a huge crush on a girl, like yours; I couldn't stop thinking about my crush, all that. You can't force yourself to forget but just play it cool. Trying to forget only makes it harder. Any hobbies you have will help. dig yourself into them, very deeply. It's what I do and it seems to work. Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions about any of that.