I'm feeling jealous about my friend. Again.

[Cicero]

So for some reason, I get jealous really easily over attention. So a few months back my friend was dating some guy who I didn't like (that's when I got jealous) but then we she broke up with him, we started hanging out a lot. Now she's dating another guy, and I'm feeling jealous because of 2 things
1. Because I want us to hang out as much as we used to
2. I've never dated anyone

I've always wanted a girlfriend, but never had enough confidence to get one. So while I never dated a girl, my friend has had 4-5 boyfriends already. I have absolutely no self confidence. To be honest, I'm a tad shocked that she's had so many boyfriends, cause she isn't like the hottest girl out there (she's average/descent). But I know if I did have a girlfriend, I'd be extremely shy about our relationship. I probably would never/rarely kiss her in public, all we'd do is hold hands or hug. I'm also worried because of the (maybe) sexual side of having a girlfriend. I know if it were a guy, I'd have no problem performing sexually with him (but I don't have a desire having a relationship with one), whereas with a girl I don't know if I would be able to perform sexually.

So what do I do about this jealous?!

[Fishy]

Hmm, I realize that I'm some random guy from the internet but here are my thoughts:

The reality is that there's some parts of this that are out of your control. Her decision to spend more time with her boyfriend is one that you cannot change unless you pressure her out of it or something. And I doubt that would end well if you force her to spend more time with you when it's against her will.

Dating others is something that you do have control over but I wouldn't suggest getting into a relationship just because you've never been in one before. Good things come for those who wait :).

At the end of the day, the best way to avoid being jealous is to spread yourself across different friends to avoid being too centralized on one person. From personal experience, I've found that focusing on one person causes too many problems because, as you just mentioned, it brings about jealousy. You'll also feel lonely when you're not around the person. It's better to avoid being in that kind of situation altogether.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you were looking for :(.

[DerBear]

You need to accept that people move on. I in a small way was once like you. I never liked change. If this could stay the same forever I'd be in heavan. However I turned 11 and realized that I'll make new friends and make new enemies and my life will go on. I keep in touch with about 5 people from before I was 11. My best friend changed over time.

I also got slightly jealous when my old best friend got into a relationship but I found that it wasn't a big deal, people will enter into a relationship and they will either fall out or move on but that doesn't change you being her best friend and vice versa, you just need to learn to include other people because if you don't you'll become very unsociable.

[Gandalf]

So for some reason, I get jealous really easily over attention. So a few months back my friend was dating some guy who I didn't like (that's when I got jealous) but then we she broke up with him, we started hanging out a lot. Now she's dating another guy, and I'm feeling jealous because of 2 things
1. Because I want us to hang out as much as we used to
2. I've never dated anyone

I've always wanted a girlfriend, but never had enough confidence to get one. So while I never dated a girl, my friend has had 4-5 boyfriends already. I have absolutely no self confidence. To be honest, I'm a tad shocked that she's had so many boyfriends, cause she isn't like the hottest girl out there (she's average/descent). But I know if I did have a girlfriend, I'd be extremely shy about our relationship. I probably would never/rarely kiss her in public, all we'd do is hold hands or hug. I'm also worried because of the (maybe) sexual side of having a girlfriend. I know if it were a guy, I'd have no problem performing sexually with him (but I don't have a desire having a relationship with one), whereas with a girl I don't know if I would be able to perform sexually.

So what do I do about this jealous?!

Jealousy is a natural emotion and completely normal. You acknowledge that as a flaw and is something you can work on. I really would avoid comparison to others, we are all individual and have differing qualities and flaws. Just because your friend has had multiple relationships doesn't mean they are any better or worse of a human being.

There is a lot of pressure on us teens to form relationships, and while they can be a great learning curve, often they're not all the turn out to be... Arguements, difficult in trusting the other person. The majority blow over so I wouldn't worry about not having one. It'll happen eventually, and I know that sounds cliche, but it really is the way the cookie crumbles.

I wouldn't get too bogged down in the specifics, if you've always wanted a girlfriend but never had one. Why? Ask yourself. And think on how you can improve so that when you do meet the right person eventually, if it's fulfilling and healthy just enjoy it with a level of intimacy you feel comfortable with. -If the other person can't except that then they aren't worth being in a relationship with really.

Sexuality is just another spanner in the works, and I've probably said it before but the way I look at it is; sex is sex. You're either going to enjoy certain things or not. I wouldn't worry about it if you can help it.

[bored4evah]

well girls tend to hop about from boy to boy quite often, so if i was you id just try to keep in touch alot and ask if you can hang out with them and that, even though it is kinda awkward (been there done that) but yeah