feeling stupid, used, and depressed

[bored4evah]

Hey so this all happened a week ago or something like that but its only started bothering me now. Basically, I went out with this guy who I didnt have feelings for but he claimed to have strong feelings for me (or something like that) so out of sympathey I said yes, knowing nothing was really gonna happen cause he is in a completly diffrent country. Some time later aclose friend of mine in the same country as him told me he was hitting on her and when she mentioned me he said 'shes just another girl' and walked off. Later that night we were arguing and he said he only went out with me to win a bet with his brother and that I was the easiest one to get.

I just feel like a total asshole for thinking that someone actually liked me. My life is fucked up, my parents hate me, so do my siblings and relatives due to the fact im 'depressed'. The few friends I have are all chavy/emo druggies and drinkers, and I only have 1 friend I can actually be myself around. My other friends are all online, they are awesome people and that but I havnt actually met them :/ I dontgo out with people because almost everytime the situation that happened above happens. I just get used. Every fucking time. Thats why ill always be a loner for life, pretty much everyone has told me, even the guy I was talking about before said so.

Dont think that im some heart broke 14 year old because im not, I dont really get worked up about relationships and stuff but this time it hit me this was always gonna happen. My kindness is and will always be taken advantage off and im just everyones toy to use and then throw away. To be honest this isnt really helping the part of me thats suicidal already, I just dont see the point of living if this is gonna happen.

·im not wanted
·my close and distant familly hate me
·im always gonna be used
·my friends are not really friends
·my only friend is all I can depend on
·im never gonna meet my online friends
· taken advantage off
·'easy'
·stupid
·I hang with the wrong groups and get in fights
·my life is pointless

Those are the reasons I should die, it wouldnt make a diffrence to anyone if I was to commit suicide and not be here. Infact life would probaly be better for them all if I wasnt here. I think ill just die

[Russ]

I know what it feels like to be used,my ex gf broke up with me then strung me along for 8 months while she found some else I've never felt pain like it,I've been suicidal for years (tried and failed a few times) sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is hoping that one day I'll meet a kind person like you so please don't take 1 of the good people out this world

[Rayquaza]

If you didn't have strong feelings for him, you shouldn't get incredibly upset. So what he called you easy, he's a complete dickhead, and you're going to get a lot of males acting like this. The fact is, you're not easy, and you have a lot to live for. I know it may seem like you're heartbroken but you need to take this as a life lesson and remind yourself to never jump into relationships. There is always someone out there for you, you just may not be looking hard enough.

Regarding your friends, try to slowly withdraw away from the internet and into real life friends. Join youth groups and other groups near you, I know you will make friends. Why end your life and let those that bully you win? They should not have made you feel like that, and it's awful. You at least have one friend, and that's something many suicidal teenagers don't have. They don't have someone to turn to. You need to turn to this friend as soon as possible before you get trapped in a downward spiral of depression and develop the wrong mentality. Hang on to this one friend and let your emotions out, don't bottle them. Imagine how your one friend would feel if they found the horrible news that you ended your life? Suicide is never an option. It would make them feel awful too. Stay strong and your life will only get better.