Britanian11
March 28th, 2013, 08:07 PM
In my other thread, I mentioned this redhead that I have really strong feelings for. I'll go more in-depth here, but what I want to know is whether or not you think what I feel is love or if I'm just obsessed.
In 9th grade I met this beautiful redhead, whom at the time I saw as an angel or embodiment of perfection. While I know no one is perfect, I still, four years later, can't find a flaw with her. I can't recall exactly how it happened, but at some point I developed really strong feelings for this girl. She is honestly the only reason I woke up in the mornings. Despite hardly every speaking to her, I thought about her pretty much all the time. I talked about her a lot to, which my friends made fun of sometimes. I was still really shy back then, so it took me until near the end of the year to tell her how I felt. She had figured it out by then, of course, but I still needed it to be said. I actually told her on Facebook, and she said that my words were poetic. I also told her that she inspired a character in my novel and I shared that with her. She wrote me a really long letter explaining how much she liked it. Despite this, we still never really talked. She moved away at the end of the year.
I talked to her once every few weeks or so, we'd talk for about an hour or two on Facebook. I still thought about her all the time even for the entire next year. In 11th grade, I stopped thinking about her all the time, but I still thought about her.
But that isn't the interesting part. She had a monumental impact on me. I developed this really weird personality that made me come off as extremely arrogant, thinking I was better than everyone. In reality, I wasn't comparing everyone to myself, I was comparing everyone to her. Not just people. I still have this really messed up perception of the world. It's hard to explain, but I'm really critical of everyone and everything because I don't believe they live up to my perception of her standards.
It wasn't until earlier this year that I realized my friends sort of had a point. They all said I was basically just stalking her on Facebook, and as I thought about it I realized they were right. So I told her that, and that led into us talking for about two hours. I explained a lot to her and she was very understanding. She's really smart too, so she sort of explained why I felt some of this stuff. At the end of the conversation, we said goodbye. And I cried. I was only defriending her, and I cried because she would no longer be a part of my life. And I don't cry, ever.
There is probably a lot more, but this is long enough. What do you think, love or obsession? I can't decide for myself.
Thanks.
In 9th grade I met this beautiful redhead, whom at the time I saw as an angel or embodiment of perfection. While I know no one is perfect, I still, four years later, can't find a flaw with her. I can't recall exactly how it happened, but at some point I developed really strong feelings for this girl. She is honestly the only reason I woke up in the mornings. Despite hardly every speaking to her, I thought about her pretty much all the time. I talked about her a lot to, which my friends made fun of sometimes. I was still really shy back then, so it took me until near the end of the year to tell her how I felt. She had figured it out by then, of course, but I still needed it to be said. I actually told her on Facebook, and she said that my words were poetic. I also told her that she inspired a character in my novel and I shared that with her. She wrote me a really long letter explaining how much she liked it. Despite this, we still never really talked. She moved away at the end of the year.
I talked to her once every few weeks or so, we'd talk for about an hour or two on Facebook. I still thought about her all the time even for the entire next year. In 11th grade, I stopped thinking about her all the time, but I still thought about her.
But that isn't the interesting part. She had a monumental impact on me. I developed this really weird personality that made me come off as extremely arrogant, thinking I was better than everyone. In reality, I wasn't comparing everyone to myself, I was comparing everyone to her. Not just people. I still have this really messed up perception of the world. It's hard to explain, but I'm really critical of everyone and everything because I don't believe they live up to my perception of her standards.
It wasn't until earlier this year that I realized my friends sort of had a point. They all said I was basically just stalking her on Facebook, and as I thought about it I realized they were right. So I told her that, and that led into us talking for about two hours. I explained a lot to her and she was very understanding. She's really smart too, so she sort of explained why I felt some of this stuff. At the end of the conversation, we said goodbye. And I cried. I was only defriending her, and I cried because she would no longer be a part of my life. And I don't cry, ever.
There is probably a lot more, but this is long enough. What do you think, love or obsession? I can't decide for myself.
Thanks.