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View Full Version : How to develop inviting body language? How can I make a friend out of school?


canadaski
March 27th, 2013, 12:42 AM
I recently graduated high school and am in a year off before going to university. I am a guy that looks really intense and like he has a schedule all the time and will sacrifice it for nothing. I rarely make eye contact with people unless I'm interacting with them. I have a feeling that my body language suggests that I don't care to be interrupted even when I'm not doing anything. I also sometimes have exaggerated interpretations of other people's body language. For example, while I'm at the gym, I assume that anybody wearing earphones will be in agony if they get caught in a conversation with me.

Expanding on that point, there's this one guy at the gym that I've seen a few times and looks to be around my age (in a sea of old people). I'd like to talk to him but never bothered because he's always listening to music and I assume he doesn't want to be bothered.

I'm in therapy for social anxiety and have gotten to the point where i'm comfortable being on the receiving end of a conversation starter. I'm completely clueless as to how I would start a conversation with a stranger without seeming like an idiot, creep or a fool.

It seems like everybody keeps to themselves and isn't in the mood, or doesn't have the time to talk to me.


What specific actions in particular can I practice to appear more approachable and inviting to people?
How can I start a conversation with a stranger when I don't know anything about them? I find it hard to believe that people could get a conversation going merely by saying "hi."


Quite frankly it's a miracle that I ever had any friends and I'm not even sure how it happened.