I sound effeminate and I don't know what to do about it

[Cicero]

So I'm really embarrassed making this thread.

So a few days ago my friend was video recording what we were doing, and so we were watching and I had said something. He asked "Who was that?" And guiltily I said me. When I heard myself, I was sad the whole night and that's all I could think of.

So when I left my friends house I video recorded myself saying random crap, and I noticed that when I talk with emotion (happy, sad, disgusted, etc.) I sounded like the stereotypical gay. Except I don't have a lisp. But when I talk with barely any emotion (or none at all) I sound normal. I do have a tad high voice, but not as much as I used to.

So what can I do about this? What should I do? If when I get older my voice still isn't that deep, is there any surgery I could get to make my voice deep? My dad has a really deep voice, some of my friends are like Holy crap he has a deep voice.

[ReginaGeorge]

You're willing to get surgery to make your voice deeper?

That's extreme, don't you think so? I think the problem here is not the pitch of your voice, but your attitude towards it. It really doesn't matter. I have straight male friends who have the same "problem", they all have successful relationships, friends and romantic, and they have never had problems with it, and I have female friends, and I as well, have deeper than average voices for girls and no one cares either.

Your voice or how you speak doesn't reveal or represent anything about you except how your tongue moves. It's not important. If people assume you're gay because of this, they are obviously neck-deep in false stereotypes that literally will get them no where.

If it really bothers you that much, trying to change it is as simple as just being aware of your voice and changing it yourself, you don't need therapy or pills or surgery to change it. It's like I used to draw my '4's' with two lines instead of joined together like that, over time I consciously thought about it and made myself aware so I could draw the normal 4 instead, now it's come naturally. You just need to be aware of your voice and when you think it's a bit too high, lower it, if you think you exaggerate your S's, don't, slow down how you speak and speak clearly.

Hope this helps.

[workingatperfect]

Pretty much everything that Jess said, but i'd like to add that I've noticed you post a ton of stuff here about being self conscious about many things, which is normal, but it's so much that it's a bit of a concern. As Jess said, the problem isn't your voice, it's your attitude towards it. And I've noticed you post a lot of things regarding sexuality and it seems to be that you're quite scared of not being or seeming straight. I know you were only asking about your voice, but you may want to consider counselling about your low self esteem and how your feel about your sexuality (whatever it may be) because otherwise, this stuff is going to weigh you down your whole life and you deserve to be happy with yourself and it'd be great if you could do that without having to actually change anything. :)

[PinkFloyd]

Well your voice gets deeper as your vocal cords become looser. I guess there might be a surgery to loosten them. What I think is that you will eventually get a deep voice because your dad has one.

[ImCoolBeans]

You're sixteen years old... your voice will get deeper before you're done developing. You always get very concerned over things like this and always seem to be okay with taking radical and extreme measures to change whatever it is -- just give it some time. Be patient.

Relationships and Dating :arrow: VT General Hospital

[Danny Phantom]

My voice isn't deep either, and people used to think I was gay for that, really ignorant and stupid and stereotypical, I know.

But you're not done with puberty yet (neither am I), so there is still time for your voice to get deeper, it is really all about time. Don't get any surgery-- that's a drastic decision that isn't necessary.

[Cicero]

You're sixteen years old... your voice will get deeper before you're done developing. You always get very concerned over things like this and always seem to be okay with taking radical and extreme measures to change whatever it is -- just give it some time. Be patient.

Relationships and Dating :arrow: VT General Hospital

I'm soon to be 18

[xmojox]

I still sound like a girl and you know what? I don't care. If it bothers anyone...fuck em because it's just how I sound and it doesn't say a single thing about who I am.

[Cicero]

I still sound like a girl and you know what? I don't care. If it bothers anyone...fuck em because it's just how I sound and it doesn't say a single thing about who I am.

But you're 14, not nearly as bad as me whos almost 18

[Apollo.]

But you're 14, not nearly as bad as me whos almost 18

Don't worry about your voice at all, nobody really cates how soneone sounds its a really trivial thing. I have friends that are 18 and they have quite high pitched voices everyone sounds different, people will be used to how you sound anyway.

[xmojox]

But you're 14, not nearly as bad as me whos almost 18

That doesn't mean the way your voice sounds says any more about who you are than mine says about me, though. Everyone's voice sounds different, right? If it bothers you, as has already been said, work on changing your enounciation (epic fail on spelling that I think) and maybe how fast you speak. You can practice and make your voice sound pretty much any way you want. Look at Hugh Laurie. On House you never would've guessed he was British. If it's only the pitch that bothers you maybe try not getting as excited when you speak. I know that causes me problems and sometimes makes me sound like Mickey Mouse. Just make yourself hyper aware of what makes you sound the way you do and work on changin it from there. Personally though, I think it's easier to just say fuck em.

[CaliforniaMatt]

Have you asked what other people think about your voice? I sound completely different on mic

[crepesuzette]

Have you asked what other people think about your voice? I sound completely different on mic

yeah me too. i think i sound ugly when i'm on the mic. people start laughing at me when i'm presenting up in front of the class. i'm just thinking how rude.

[CaliforniaMatt]

yeah me too. i think i sound ugly when i'm on the mic. people start laughing at me when i'm presenting up in front of the class. i'm just thinking how rude.

I sound more nasal.