Scars and relationships

[Russ]

Hi I have really bad scars up my arm,I was just wondering how many people are in a relationship? Is it possible to find someone who understands?

[StoppingTime]

What exactly are you trying to ask? And what does a relationship have to do with anything? I think I'm misunderstanding something.

[workingatperfect]

I'm in a relationship and although he hasn't really seen my scars up close, he's pretty understanding about it. Aside from making him kind of sad, I don't think it's a problem, because they're only scars, not fresh cuts. If they were fresh cuts, he would stay, it would just be doing just as much, if not more damage to him than it would to me. So if I understand your question, you can find someone who will understand or at the very least accept you, scars and all. It's very possible, especially with the amount of people who do or have at least tried self harm. If someone does turn you down because of it, fuck them, they aren't worth your time. Don't worry. :]

[lyriclover]

If someone can't accept your past then they wont be ready to support you in your future. Your scars dont say who you are, all they say is you had a rough past but you survived. I have had an ex that saw every scar on my body, and I had seen all of hers. It just made us closer.

[Whiskey-Lullaby]

It kind of remind me of a song. The lyrics were "Your arms are scarred so you think you're unlovable".

Honestly I can't really tell you, bevause I never trusted someone enough to open up about S.H But I know a girl who found a very understanding boyfriend. He told me once " Of course I hate thoses scars, cause It makes me sick to know she's been suffering. But all that matters is that know she's in my arms, and I won't let her go"
I thought it was sooo cute, and today after 2 years they are still a couple and she stopped cutting.

So yeah I believe there is hope.

[Princess Ariel]

I'm in a relationship right now and although right now the scars aren't noticeable in some lighting, you can still know. When my arm was chopped up, I was in a different relationship and he was fine with it because he was there before and only wanted to help. Now, with my girlfriend, there's been times when she'd be holding me and comforting and all and touch a new scar. She apologized (even though she didn't have to) and I know that if I were to relapse, she wouldn't break up with me because of that. In fact, she's very supportive. Plus, she knew ahead of the relationship that I am/was a self harmer.

If someone can't accept your past and see all the hardships you've been through. It will only be wasting both your time and your boyfriend/girlfriends time. They won't be in it for the long haul. When you find someone who's either been in the same position as to where you are now, or is just supportive. Maybe even both. That's when you know you've found someone who will help you get through it.

Those people are hard to come by, but they exist. You just have to keep looking.

:hug:

[Fiction]

Yes it's possible. Since I started self-harming I've been in 3 relationships. I started self-harming during the first, and he did threaten to break up with me when he first found out if I didn't stop, the second relationship is a long story, but the one I'm in now my boyfriend is very understanding.

We actually first started talking just a few days before I attempted suicide for the second time. We didn't know each other very well but we'd been flirting. Then the day J ended up in hospital I originally told him I was just Ill but later that day I decided to tell him that I'd overdosed and was in hospital. Even though he didn't really know me be was so supportive. I went straight from hospital to meet him as soon as I was out. I eventually told him about my self harm and my eating disorders and so on. Now I've pretty much stopped self-harming, my eating is better and I haven't been in hospital in well over a year, so there are people out there :)

[Russ]

That's great that you guys have found someone who accepts you for you,I've never met anyone who even slightly understands,it's hard to figure out who to trust :|