I want to fucking kill myself now

[Axw_JD]

I really don't want to live anymore. What's the point? If I am not being bullied or yelled at or called names, I am being completely ignored... I'm just a complete annoyance for my so-called best friend, and a complete waste of time, money and resources for everyone else...

I fucking hate my life, I fucking hate having nobody to talk to and nobody that fucking cares... I hate being just a nice guy that everyone either ignores or treats like a fucking punch bag.

Feel like crap, fail more classes, being nice and help people, and then being treated like an useless piece of shit... that's all life has been, and I really don't want any more if it...

[CaliforniaMatt]

Don't do it. Everyone is here for a reason. You'll find your reason for being here soon enough, if you ever want to talk send me a message.

Thx,
Matt

[Gwen]

Dude your life seems to full of sacrifice and saying that we need people like you are an understatement. You've done everything right, why end it? Don't do something that you may regret. Think about it, it isn't your fault, talk to someone or call a help line. No one should have to feel like that.

[Magus]

You shouldn't be like that man.

I failed a subject, 3 times, man. That didn't stopped me. I have been nice all my life, and I don't expect from the people all that time, but that didn't stop me. I don't have friends in real life, either!

I know it is wrong to compare myself with others, as others are going through different hardships, but those are not reasons to keep you down, man.

To life, there is much to it. Don't let the negative get a hold of you. Think of the positive. Best thing is, reach out. There is someone out there who is ready to help you. There is. Trust me on that. You are not alone in this world.

You have to find out who that person is, that's what life is. You must adventure. Don't stop here and now, you are still a sapling, ready to grow. :)

[Texas warrior]

I care. And if talking is what you need then PM me.

[Axw_JD]

There's no point... living another day is just having to suffer more, go through more pain, its pointless.... no matter how hard I try, how nice I am to people, all I get is being ignored, used and thrown away when not needed.

whats the point of resisting the urge to run away and jump off the closest bridge? I just wanna die, I just want to stop hurting... life isn't worth it...

[gamerdudeW]

it gets better man, i promise. I dont really like much attn and like life pretty laidback and quiet..life at home can be stressful, but let ur family know they should be nice and stop yelling and being rude.

[CaliforniaMatt]

Listen.
You're on this damn Earth for a certain reason, and it's your duty to fulfill it. Killing yourself is the easy way out, there's no pride or peace in that. Coping and rising above is where real valor lies. You could be someone very powerful when you grow older- why risk that for teenage feelings? Are you planning on going to College? It's completely different there.

[Axw_JD]

Then I guess I'm a pride-less coward. I'm already in college and gets what, it hasn't really been much different... oh wait it has: false hope for things changing, more people that use and discard me, even more reasons to fucking end it all every single day.

[CaliforniaMatt]

If you end it, then what? You'll hurt those people who care for you. You may think no one cares, but when shit happens, a LOT more people than you can ever imagine are affected.

[Axw_JD]

If those people existed I would be worried... for all my so-called best friend knows I could be dead now, he wouldn't miss me for at least another week when he needs something from me again... my parents? they would probably only miss the money they would have wasted on me... and is not like I have many friends at all so the list pretty much ends right there... nobody has ever cared, whenever I need help there's nobody willing to give a hand, but they sure expect me to be there the next time they need me.

[CaliforniaMatt]

Have you seeked professional help?
Don't say no one's out there- I'm here. I'm a person with a heart who cares about you.

[Axw_JD]

No I haven't... I simply can't afford it.

But you don't know me, you have never talked to me. If I died right now, you wouldn't even notice.

[CaliforniaMatt]

There are free help lines out there.

If you died right now, I would be devestated. Don't underestimate human life. All I can think of when someone commits suicide is: The future President just died. The doctor that would save my friend's life just died. The person who would give a s*** if I died, just died.

[Stryker125]

talk to someone here (https://www.imalive.org/). You can get through this.

[Lego]

Sure it's shitty now but you have to get through it. Thats what its about. i lost like all my friends at school because i wouldnt go out and party but study instead. Not saying thats comparable to your life but it sounds like you're having a rough time just like I did. You gotta ignore the people that dont care about you and find something you Can do to ignore it all. You're just stressed between the bullying and the pressure to do well in college. It's fucking hard! I'm not going to argue with you there. It makes me sad that people can be so cruel sometimes and how hard life can be but if you end your life they win. And i care about you too!!! Be the stronger person. Go for a run or anything to channel your emotions into something positive it helps a lot! But just do your best. Everything happens for a reason and we're here if you need us. Stay strong! Its soooo not easy but you have to stay strong

And if you cant ignore them you sure as hell dont need to be there for them if they arent for you. You'll find other friends it just takes time and unfortunately yours hasnt come yet but it will. You've hit rock bottom so theres no where to go but up. But really find something to get away from it. I like playing hockey when i can or going for a run or something when im angry. And as for school talk to your profs if you can. And learn from your mistakes

Please don't double post, use the edit button :)~Derri

[DoodleSnap]

I sometimes feel like this. I have Asperger's Syndrome so I over analyse everything. I constantly think that my friends and peers hate me and are annoyed with me. I feel like I wish was dead sometimes. But I have to think about how my family would feel when they find me. They would feel like you or me feel like all the time for the rest of their lives, and nobody should have took feel like that. Don't do it. I care.

[steellord321]

I sometimes feel like this. I have Asperger's Syndrome so I over analyse everything. I constantly think that my friends and peers hate me and are annoyed with me. I feel like I wish was dead sometimes. But I have to think about how my family would feel when they find me. They would feel like you or me feel like all the time for the rest of their lives, and nobody should have took feel like that. Don't do it. I care.

This might be the case except for the bullying. Thats a very deliberate thing. OP I'm not dismissing how u feel but There has to be people who wont treat u like this. If its really as bad as u say then u need to ignore them in return and move on somehow. I know its not easy.

Being ignored, Their life might not revolve around any 1 friend the way you'd like (1 week is not abandonment) or they dont even notice whats going on around them. College is busy like that. I'm sorry u didnt get the support u needed when u came out to this friend, but have u communicated any of this since then? That's what friendship is about. Tell someone u really need help and not just on the internet. If nothing else call 1 of those hotlines. Can also add me on skype or IM if u want someone to talk to.

[xxPerryPlatypusxx]

I really don't want to live anymore. What's the point? If I am not being bullied or yelled at or called names, I am being completely ignored... I'm just a complete annoyance for my so-called best friend, and a complete waste of time, money and resources for everyone else...

I fucking hate my life, I fucking hate having nobody to talk to and nobody that fucking cares... I hate being just a nice guy that everyone either ignores or treats like a fucking punch bag.

Feel like crap, fail more classes, being nice and help people, and then being treated like an useless piece of shit... that's all life has been, and I really don't want any more if it...

alot of people feel this way at some point in their life
some do it for attention(not saying you are) and others do it as a cry for help or are being triggered. I am sorry you feel this way.
try and be strong and try not to express these feelings.
things will get better I assure you
if you take your life now think of all the people who will miss you
think of the things you would miss out on in life
having kids, starting a family, getting married, getting a steady career
there are so many things to look forward to.
don't belittle yourself try and focus on happy things. don't let lifes little problems get you down. if you need to talk I am here :)

[Shadow]

Hang in there. It will get better i promise you. If you need a friend, or just someone to talk to you know where to find me. Stay strong my friend.

[irishguy123]

you have lost a direction and guide and feel without a purpose but this is not the case.
firstly, stay strong and think about those who would suffer from losing you. you may be going through a hard time but think about the life lasting pain you will cause on your family.
you need to find a meaning in life, for some it is through family,friends,school,work,politics,religion,prayer,being social,music,sport,hobbies etc....
You need to have confidence in yourself and about who you are and who you want to become. if you need to seek external help such as councilling and guidance that is a way to combat how you are feeling.
I truely wish all the best and stay positive,keep being the best you can be and realise that every person has flaws including those that bully not only yourself. good luck! :)

[peaceNlove]

Now might be bad, but what about your future? There's this woman(forgot her name) who was sexually abused by her father and uncle and wanted to kill herself, but she didn't. Now as an adult she is a famous preacher who makes millions of dollars and she said that, as a teenager, she never would have thought that anything good could have happened to her in her life, and look at where she is. You might not have the same future as her, but that doesn't mean that your future can't be great. You could have a wonderful wife with wonderful kids and be very happy. Usually when people want to kill themselves, they're too caught up in the moment and don't think about their future. So please don't kill yourself, so many good things can happen to you.

[sprouse530]

Hang in there. It will get better i promise you. If you need a friend, or just someone to talk to you know where to find me. Stay strong my friend.

Im the same way, if you ever need to talk to someone or you ever need to vent or get something off your chest please feel free to drop a message on my page or when i hit a 100 post send me a PM im almost there i believe this is my 76th post so im close

[Kimhasquestions]

I was feeling how you are about a week ago, I was just sitting at home thinking "how could I be anymore unhappy and useless". The next day at school we had a speaker named Jeremy Bates came and talked to us about his story and the H-bombs that have kept him hopeful through it all. They call him the hope dealer, and after that assembly I felt like myself again. I wish I could find his speech online but I can't all I found was the organization he's with, http://www.revolutionspeak.com/Revolution.html
Like the hope dealer said "Life will always change, you just gotta give it a chance"

I hope I helped, stay strong and know that we've all been there.

[Axw_JD]

idk why I even think there is any hope some times... there clearly is no point ot me being alive, I just wanna fucking end it all right now...

I'm sorry guys but there really isn't any point to life... all I live for is to be used and discarded one more day, this isn't a life worth living.

[handle with care]

i know life seems like its not worth living at times i have been in your situation a few times and it always gets better if your still there dont do it you will have a great future with abwife and beautiful kids so please find the will to live

[Axw_JD]

I'm gay, only my best friend knows, and he doesn't really care about me anyways... so there's no great future with a wife and kids waiting for me anyways... nothing is waiting for me, other than being a tool that nobody gives a fuck about for the rest of my life, just like my life has been so far.

[Kimhasquestions]

There are millions of other people out there just like you, you should understand that. People who are depressed, people who feel useless, and there are alot of Gay people that feel like there isn't anything good ahead of them, my best friend, a guy and gay, thought that nothing would ever get better for him, but it did, and he is dating a really nice guy now and life turned around.

[Smeagol]

My friend, I am gay too. It sucks right now. Times are a changing. For you there is a future with a husband and kids, right out there if you want it. DOMA is being reviewed in the Supreme Court. Already there are nine states which have legalized gay marriage.

Think of all of the people who "don't care". A kid who has been being mean to you, a teacher who ignored you, a parent who you think isn't interested in you - they will all be devastated if you die. They will blame your death on themeslves.

Please PM me if you want to talk. I am always here

Stay strong <3 the fact that you have made it this far means that you can make it farther still. Please do not jump. Please.

[KushKing]

I really don't want to live anymore. What's the point? If I am not being bullied or yelled at or called names, I am being completely ignored... I'm just a complete annoyance for my so-called best friend, and a complete waste of time, money and resources for everyone else...

I fucking hate my life, I fucking hate having nobody to talk to and nobody that fucking cares... I hate being just a nice guy that everyone either ignores or treats like a fucking punch bag.

Feel like crap, fail more classes, being nice and help people, and then being treated like an useless piece of shit... that's all life has been, and I really don't want any more if it...

Been there, done that. Your story sounds exactly like mine, like word for word. Pm if you gotta talk bro.