Boyfriend Trouble

[Free_Music_Bird]

Ok my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months now, but things have gone way down hill. He accuses me of things without even trying to ask me about them first, apparently I'm always cheating on him, I feel like I can't have friends or a life anymore, he hates my bestfriend, and I feel controlled, not trusted, and like I'm just an object....
This issue has lasted over a month and I'm lost on what to do because I'm his first gf, and I'm afraid I'll break his heart, and that my dad will be disappointed... What do I do? Any tips or ideas? HELP!

[Swagamemmnon]

The first thing I would do is talk with him about what is currently bothering you about your relationship. It's really important that you try to communicate while at the same time not sounding accusatory, as an argument will get you nowhere. If that doesn't work, and things stay the same, you should break up with him. A relationship should be mutually satisfying, and if talking doesn't fix it, then it's best not to let it drag you down.

[Dirtychevrolet]

That's kinda how I felt just before we broke up we had been together like 14 months. But I agree and think that communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. I was her first boyfriend. And mostly I guess it just got to where we couldn't enjoy our own lives being together for some reason so we broke up and might try again in the future but were best of friends right now and can talk about anything. Just talk to him about it because a relationship that is not mutually enjoyed is not very fun. The friends thing is kinda bad, I think if I coulda changed one thing about the re
Relationship I was in is that I would have stayed more in touch with my friends. And trust is another very important part of a relationship. What you could do is take a break for like a week or 2 and see if you both are happier or not that's what we did and we decided we were happier as just friends for now. Anyway I hope it works out for you let us know :)

[Free_Music_Bird]

I just don't want to disappoint my dad, this is the first boyfriend of mine that he likes...and thinks that I'm going to stick with. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about my issues but he just says that I've changed, I'm not the same girl, and things seem to always turnout to be my fault. Its like I'm dating my father (disgusting to think yes but accurate description.) I've tried to talk to him multiple times and he says he'll change but the fights have gotten so bad and so progressive that we stopped talking altogether for like 5 days and when I see his text/calls I get aggrivated because I don't want to talk to him because it always turns into a fight.

[Dirtychevrolet]

I'm sorry that sounds almost exactly how my relationship went.... Honestly I was way hurt about it for a while but now I'm seeing it was for the better... Your dad should always love you no matter your decision. Just know what you want not what others want I had/have a really hard time with this but it makes things alot easier if you listen to yourself about things like this. :) I'm always here to help even if I can't ill try :)

[SamanthaMaciel]

usually if someone accuses someone of cheatin... that person is cheating... its ur life do what u need to.

[Free_Music_Bird]

I've never cheated in my life, I have no need to lie to people I don't know and that I'm asking for help. But I'm just worried my dads gonna play 20 questions about what happened...

[SamanthaMaciel]

he could be cheatin... just tell ur dad its none of his business... jk but explain how annoying ur bf is....

[Free_Music_Bird]

he knows that I haven't talked to him much in like 8 days now... and I haven't had any physical contact with him at school (aka hugs, kiss, hand hold) and he got mad at ME because he didn't tell me that he arrived.. -_-

[unnamed94]

first of all your dad shouldnt be disappointed because you break up with someone he likes. its your life, your decisions and your happiness that are involved in your relationship. there seems to be a communication problem between you two and he doesnt seem to trust you. my advice would be to tell him what you just wrote here, be clear that you cant keep having a relationship like this and that he needs to change. if he doesnt change after it then break up with him.

[Free_Music_Bird]

He's told me he's going to change, and promised he'd change to fix us and that was close to 2 months ago..

[SamanthaMaciel]

dont beleive that shit.... he would change for a lil while then Boom... back to his old ways

[unnamed94]

its up to you then if you want to give him another chance or not. if i was the one on that situation i would break it up.

[Free_Music_Bird]

Trust me I know thats all this relationship has been. and he keeps talking about forever, and how much he loves me, how happy i make him, how i'm his dream girl but how is it fair if i'm not happy?

[Dirtychevrolet]

It's not fair a relationship/dating should be fun not fight and worry does that make sense?

[unnamed94]

you shouldnt be with him if you are not happy. its that simple

[SamanthaMaciel]

^^true that

[Free_Music_Bird]

Okay, is it wrong that I'm more worried about breaking his heart then being happy?

[Synyster Shadows]

Um, yes. If he's accusing you of things you didn't do and controlling you, you need to break up with this guy.

[Free_Music_Bird]

He just messaged me this
"if were going to continue to be like this with each other, whats the point...i want you to be happy cause i want this to work but if were just going to flat out ignore each other, bearly talk, have nothing to talk about what is the point. What can i do to ake this work. please tell me. i love you dearly, i want us to be together but we both seem unhappy now. how can we fix it."
But to be fair he's said that many times before.... and nothing has changed.

[Taryn98]

If you are not happy, you need to leave. Staying with someone for the wrong reason (not to hurt their feelings) will just makes things worse in the long run and make you miserable. You have to worry about yourself first. Although relationships always will have difficult times and fights, they should fill your life with genuine happiness.

[SamanthaMaciel]

dump his ass... simple as that

[OrKing]

To be honest I think you're relationship has run it's course. You two don't seem to be making each other happy and to be quite honest he seems like a rather shitty boyfriend. I'm a jealous guy, it's a trait of mine that I hate more than any other and try pretty damn hard to suppress but I would never accuse my girlfriend of cheating. Mostly because I love her far too damn much and I know that she loves me and would never cheat, but still, accusation without an extremely good reason is always a shitty thing to do.

Then there's the fact that the way you tell it he's always blaming you for things and not taking much responsibility himself, or at least that's what I get. Plus he's been saying he'll change for months. Honestly I think he needs to learn a lesson, you should break up with him otherwise he'll just think he can continue to bullshit about changing forever. Finally you don't want to disappoint your father by breaking up with this guy. That isn't healthy, I understand it, but it's not healthy. Do everything that involves you this much for you only. It's you it effects.

Sorry, but personally I think your relationship has too many scars, best to leave and let them heal up. Find a dude that truly does love you and teach this dude that he can't act like that if he ever wants to be in a happy relationship.

[Free_Music_Bird]

OrKing thank you for having a in depth reply, like its sad that even his bestfriend is saying that he is messing up and that he needs to get his stuff straight. But he won't listen to anyone, I'm worried that if I dump him that my dads gonna blow up on me and or play questionnaire...

[unnamed94]

OrKing thank you for having a in depth reply, like its sad that even his bestfriend is saying that he is messing up and that he needs to get his stuff straight. But he won't listen to anyone, I'm worried that if I dump him that my dads gonna blow up on me and or play questionnaire...

tell your dad you simply werent happy with him and that you were constantly fighting. the lack of trust (among other things) caused the relationship to become unhealthy.

[OrKing]

No problem, and the above post is correct. No father that I've ever known of wants their daughter or son in a relationship like yours no matter how much they may have liked the guy. If he asks just tell him what Unnamed said. It's almost a guarantee he'll be glad your out of the relationship or at the very least understand.

[crazy_teen]

Then tell him you gave him a chance or he tried fixing it but it's not working. You gave him time to change but he still went back to his old ways. Tell him what made you unhappy, that he's not changing, so there's no point in going circles. It's normal to be worried about him but if you stay you'll only hurt yourself.

As for you dad, tell him that you don't mean to disappoint him, but your relationship with your boyfriend is making you unhappy. I think he'll understand.

[Free_Music_Bird]

Well its like this in every relationship I've had honestly, I have no clue whats with my bad luck in relationships but they are all like it. And my father doesnt know that I'm unhappy, he knows nothing about my relationship except that I have a boyfriend and he likes him... A few days ago he asked if I was dumping him and all I could say was, "No.....I mean I don't know" and I sighed. He's probably expecting it at somepoint soon but I don't think he'll be happy about it

[unnamed94]

Well its like this in every relationship I've had honestly, I have no clue whats with my bad luck in relationships but they are all like it. And my father doesnt know that I'm unhappy, he knows nothing about my relationship except that I have a boyfriend and he likes him... A few days ago he asked if I was dumping him and all I could say was, "No.....I mean I don't know" and I sighed. He's probably expecting it at somepoint soon but I don't think he'll be happy about it

maybe he sees something is different with you lately, he could think you are having problems with him.

[Free_Music_Bird]

he's told me apparently its all MY fault. When I've done nothing but give him chances.

[SamanthaMaciel]

tbh yes... but u dont want to hurt him thats why... but there is always gonna be another girlfriend so breaking his heart is nothing tho... it will be replaced... and ur dad might understand that its not his relationship that matters it urs.... like I said... dump his ass cus he will get over it so will ur dad :)

[xmojox]

He just messaged me this
"if were going to continue to be like this with each other, whats the point...i want you to be happy cause i want this to work but if were just going to flat out ignore each other, bearly talk, have nothing to talk about what is the point. What can i do to ake this work. please tell me. i love you dearly, i want us to be together but we both seem unhappy now. how can we fix it."
But to be fair he's said that many times before.... and nothing has changed.

What it all comes down to is your happiness. Not this guy's and for sure not your dad's. If your dad likes him so much he should date him. I know that I wasn't happy when I was with a girl who accused me almost daily of cheating. You can't have a happy and healthy relationship without trust, and you shouldn't stay in a bad relationship because you're concerned about the other person's feelings.

I honestly think you've done all you can do and it's time to end it. At least, that's what I'd do.

[unnamed94]

he's told me apparently its all MY fault. When I've done nothing but give him chances.

im assuming you mean your bf. what did you actually expect him to say anyway? if he hasnt changed after all this time then that answer isnt such a surprise, blaming you instead of himself.

[Free_Music_Bird]

I've been talking to my closest friends, and my sisters about what I should do and they say I should dump him before our 8months which is on Monday

[Smeagol]

Tell him he has to trust you and that you haven't been cheating, if he doesn't trust you, he can't really love and understand you. However, if you're not happy and he's giving you grief, you shouldn't stay with him. Who cares if you 'break his heart'? It's heartwrenching to have somebody accuse you of horrible things and you haven't.

[Free_Music_Bird]

Well I broke up with him yesterday, explained why and I got grounded for 3 months. Isn't my life just a world of bliss -_-

[crazy_teen]

Grounded?!? For breaking up with your boyfriend? Geez dad!

Well it's done. At least you can breathe now. :)

[SamanthaMaciel]

oh shit! im sorry.. but its do.e now... maybe it was ur dads boyfriend nit urs!!!

[xmojox]

Nothing personal but your dad's an idiot.

[Free_Music_Bird]

oh well

[sprouse530]

i love you jess be happy

[sprouse530]

remember it could be worse you could be pregnant

[Free_Music_Bird]

love you too matt :)