Transsexual/gender?

[workingatperfect]

I can never remember if a person who identifies with a gender different from their biological sex is transgender or transsexual. Transgender right? It makes more sense, since it has gender in the word.

But anyway, since I'm not sure, I'll just refer to them as trans ok? Ok.

Now, I understand believing that you should be a different sex, I guess. I actually don't get it, but I get it enough. Everyone has qualms about their body, and for some people it's just more serious and drastic. But, I just don't understand identifying with another gender. Idk, to me it's kind of like saying "I think I was supposed to be a blonde because I don't feel like a brunette." Because you're kind of ditzy. (In other words you fit society's blonde stereotype better than the brunette stereotype)

I'm a girl. No matter how I dress, act or feel, I will always be a girl. I will always have a vagina, breasts, a feminine face, and more estrogen than testosterone (ok, well I do have a hormone imbalance, but still.) I guess I just don't feel like anything. I feel like a person. I feel like Melissa. I don't feel like a girl, a boy or anywhere in between. I just AM a girl. Physically. So, I guess what I don't understand is the mental part of it. I understand feeling like you fit the "wrong" gender role, but why does that have to mean you're mentally a girl?

Like, there was/is a contestant on American Idol. He wears skirts and makeup and heels and stuff. So I guess you could say he's trans, but I just don't see a point in making that distinction. Why can't he just be a man? A man who dresses like the typical girl. Or if a girl has short hair, never ever wears makeup or skirts or girly clothes and plays sports and goes hunting. To me, she's not trans, she's just a normal fucking person.

Can someone try to explain this to me? Does anyone else agree that it's completely pointless to make that distinction, or am I just missing some key element? Is it just that they DO feel like they're in the wrong body but don't want the surgery? And even then, why do you feel that way?

I hope no one takes any offense to this, I'm really just trying to understand. I have nothing wrong with transgender or transsexual people.

[Pierce]

Even though I don't know much about this I would love to talk to you more about it. Are you asking what it means to be transgender or are you asking why he has to be trans, why can't he just be a normal person who enjoys to wear skirts and makeup. I don't understand transgender that well, I think you need to be trans to fully understand it, but I guess although they feel like the opposite sex inside, they feel like it should be on the outside as well. That sentence was so long it probably didn't make sense. Society loves to label everything and things will never stop getting labels. They will label trans people trans. I know you don't mean any offense. This probably didn't make any sense =( and too tire to look it over. Best of luck!

[Skitty]

I'm a girl. No matter how I dress, act or feel, I will always be a girl. I will always have a vagina, breasts, a feminine face, and more estrogen than testosterone (ok, well I do have a hormone imbalance, but still.) I guess I just don't feel like anything. I feel like a person. I feel like Melissa. I don't feel like a girl, a boy or anywhere in between. I just AM a girl. Physically.


Try and imagine your mentality of being a girl, but being in the body of a guy. If you woke up tomorrow in a male body, would you call yourself a guy? Personally, I think I would still consider myself to be a guy if I had a female body.

[workingatperfect]

Even though I don't know much about this I would love to talk to you more about it. Are you asking what it means to be transgender or are you asking why he has to be trans, why can't he just be a normal person who enjoys to wear skirts and makeup. I don't understand transgender that well, I think you need to be trans to fully understand it, but I guess although they feel like the opposite sex inside, they feel like it should be on the outside as well. That sentence was so long it probably didn't make sense. Society loves to label everything and things will never stop getting labels. They will label trans people trans. I know you don't mean any offense. This probably didn't make any sense =( and too tire to look it over. Best of luck!

Well at the beginning I was asking what the distinction is between transgender and transsexual.

And yeah, I'm basically asking why there has to be a label for it. If a girl acts and dresses like a guy, people just call her a tomboy. She's still a girl, but with a guy, it's not "he's a guy who is closer to what society thinks a girl is" it's "He's a girl." I just don't get it. And not only that, but I guess, just... how does one FEEL like a girl or boy.

Try and imagine your mentality of being a girl, but being in the body of a guy. If you woke up tomorrow in a male body, would you call yourself a guy? Personally, I think I would still consider myself to be a guy if I had a female body.

I mean, I'd be freaked out, but I would still do everything the same. But I wouldn't be a girl. If I had a penis, I'd be a boy. I might stop wearing dresses (but that's rare anyway) and makeup, but I'd act the same. Because as I said, I don't feel specifically like a girl or boy or anything. I'm just a person and I have the body parts of a female. It's all just gender roles, right? That's how it is to me. I fit the female gender role sort of, but gender roles don't mean shit to me, so it's not something I even think about.

[ReginaGeorge]

I kind of don't understand what you're asking about? Can you explain your actual questions?

Also, I know who you're talking about on American Idol :P , and he's not trans, he still identifies as male, or at least will identity as male for the purpose of girls vs boys which kind of takes away the trans*ness in a way because he would identity with the girls otherwise (not that he can't be something in between but obviously, AI doesn't supply that).

[WalkingOnDisaster]

I am not sure really.
I think I side on you with this one... I just don't quite understand it. If you have the physical aspects, you're the gender (Me- a girl). I don't see how someone can 'identify' as the opposite gender. To me it doesn't make sense. I hardly understand homosexuality though... Perhaps that is my own problem.

[teen.jpg]

I'm just going to reply in bits and pieces because it's easier that way.



Now, I understand believing that you should be a different sex, I guess. I actually don't get it, but I get it enough. Everyone has qualms about their body, and for some people it's just more serious and drastic. But, I just don't understand identifying with another gender. Idk, to me it's kind of like saying "I think I was supposed to be a blonde because I don't feel like a brunette." Because you're kind of ditzy. (In other words you fit society's blonde stereotype better than the brunette stereotype)

I don't think it's anyway like that. Sure, for a girl who doesn't like her natural hair color, she can change it. But for some people, it's not a dislike of their gender, it's the fact that they feel they shouldn't be that gender at all.

I'm a girl. No matter how I dress, act or feel, I will always be a girl. I will always have a vagina, breasts, a feminine face, and more estrogen than testosterone (ok, well I do have a hormone imbalance, but still.) I guess I just don't feel like anything. I feel like a person. I feel like Melissa. I don't feel like a girl, a boy or anywhere in between. I just AM a girl. Physically. So, I guess what I don't understand is the mental part of it. I understand feeling like you fit the "wrong" gender role, but why does that have to mean you're mentally a girl?

Because yes, of course you can live your life the way you want to, with the gender you feel you SHOULD be. But, that doesn't change what's on the outside; a physical reminder of what you're trying to escape from. You can act whatever way you want, but that in no way changes how people see you; the you that you never wanted to be. That's where the change comes in.

Like, there was/is a contestant on American Idol. He wears skirts and makeup and heels and stuff. So I guess you could say he's trans, but I just don't see a point in making that distinction. Why can't he just be a man? A man who dresses like the typical girl. Or if a girl has short hair, never ever wears makeup or skirts or girly clothes and plays sports and goes hunting. To me, she's not trans, she's just a normal fucking person.

Trans people ARE normal people. They just feel like they aren't what they feel like. So they change it. And I applaud the bravery they have for doing so.

As for that guy on American Idol, I feel a special way about that. I believe there are 3 types of Trans people; Transvestite, Transgender, and Transsexual. AND THERE IS 100% NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING ANY OF THESE. EMBRACE IT!

Transvestite (not like the street corner whores) are people who dress in fashions that would be expected of the opposite sex. Like the guy you talked about. Really, I don't think this is the same as transgender/sexual, because some people just like to wear what they like. It might not even be about wishing to be the other sex, just liking "their" clothes.

Transgender is the thought or action of being the opposite sex. This may be where your confusion comes from. I think that people like this feel that they are not the "Me" that they know. They have never appeared on the outside what they knew on the inside. It's more then just "Oh, they don't like the way they look, so they change it." NO. It's alot more then that.

Transsexual is a person after a sex change. This takes courage. The judgement they face from people who dislike them because they are "different" is insane. They ARE NOT different. I'm confused where the problem with them stems from.

I hope as well that any Trans-people are not in any way offended by what I said. If I'm missing something, or I'm wrong about something, tell me. But in all honesty, I am NOT Trans, so I can't speak from experience.

[workingatperfect]

I kind of don't understand what you're asking about? Can you explain your actual questions?

Also, I know who you're talking about on American Idol :P , and he's not trans, he still identifies as male, or at least will identity as male for the purpose of girls vs boys which kind of takes away the trans*ness in a way because he would identity with the girls otherwise (not that he can't be something in between but obviously, AI doesn't supply that).

I really don't know how to explain better haha. I don't really get how one feels like they're emotionally or mentally a boy or girl. For me, it's just, physically I'm a girl, and according to society, I kind of act like how a girl should. But I don't have this like, feeling in my heart that I'm a girl or anything. So, is it just that they don't fit their gender role, or is there something else that I'm missing?

[ReginaGeorge]

I really don't know how to explain better haha. I don't really get how one feels like they're emotionally or mentally a boy or girl. For me, it's just, physically I'm a girl, and according to society, I kind of act like how a girl should. But I don't have this like, feeling in my heart that I'm a girl or anything. So, is it just that they don't fit their gender role, or is there something else that I'm missing?

Yeah, I get your point, like I don't wake up like "I'M A GIRL", or "I'M A BLONDE", but a trans person doesn't wake up like that either.

You said "physically I'm a girl, and according to society, I kind of act like how a girl should", but the thing is, you're okay with being a girl. A female to male transgender isn't, they aren't okay with it. It's not who they are, they are a boy.

I'm not really sure how to explain this though, because I'm not transgender. Hmm. I'll try my best.

It's a bit like being in the closet we'll say. We all know how much being in the closet sucks major ass, you have to hide who you are, you have to pretend to be someone else, you have the pretend to be what you're "supposed" to be, that's not even going into the shame, guilt, and depression, BUT, I am supposed to be gay, that's a part of who I am. I don't wake up like "I'M GAY" and then engage in hardcore lesbian sex and gay rights activism every day. When in the closet, I wouldn't necessarily have a boyfriend, or even heterosexual sex or anything, but just people assuming I'm straight hurts, because that's not who I am, I am gay, not straight, so I don't want to be classified as that.

Do you kind of get where I'm going? Like, my sexuality (or gender) isn't like this giant overwhelming feeling I have everyday (like you said), but when I'm classified as the wrong one, it can hurt because I know who I am (or want to be) but that's not it.

As for medical reasons, no one really knows a definite reason why this happens, but there are a lot of influential factors.

"There are many things known today through years of research, though no one single absolute cause has been quantified as of yet. It is almost universally believed that during the formation of the fetus in utero, a hormonal imbalance affects the development of the body sex characteristics in a way that is misaligned with the core gender brain wiring. The brain "gender identity" is determined very early on in the fetal growth process, though the messages of an incorrect hormone balance sent to the developing fetus’ body, redirects the "intended" natural development to the wrong physical gender."

Something that might help you get a better grasp is a man called David Reimer (you can Youtube him), basically, he was born a healthy male, but a circumcision went wrong and left him with practically no penis. So the doctors and the family decided to change his biological sex to female and raise him as girl, giving him counseling to make sure he was a girl, thinking that would solve everything and he would be a girl. "She" doesn't "take on" being a girl very well, especially when puberty hit, then lots of details are missing from my memory but from fifteen onwards became the man he was supposed to be.

I know this is a bit all over the place, but it's complicated. :P

[workingatperfect]

Yeah, I guess I kind of get it, but I still don't really see when it goes from like, a girl being a tomboy to a girl feeling like a boy. that's what's confusing me I think.

The medical part did actually help quite a bit, reading over it now. Thanks for the long post by the way, I appreciate you taking all that time to help me understand better. But yeah, I guess I just always looked at it as like, girls act like girls because from a young age, that's just how they're brought up and are conditioned to like girly things, and same with boys. I didn't know that our gender identity was a matter of nature, not just nurture, or that gender identity was anything more than another way for us to be labelled.

[xmojox]

Yeah, I guess I kind of get it, but I still don't really see when it goes from like, a girl being a tomboy to a girl feeling like a boy. that's what's confusing me I think.

The medical part did actually help quite a bit, reading over it now. Thanks for the long post by the way, I appreciate you taking all that time to help me understand better. But yeah, I guess I just always looked at it as like, girls act like girls because from a young age, that's just how they're brought up and are conditioned to like girly things, and same with boys. I didn't know that our gender identity was a matter of nature, not just nurture, or that gender identity was anything more than another way for us to be labelled.

I'm kind of thinking that gender identity is something that a person doesn't even really notice as long as everything matches up, so to speak. It's only something one would really notice or even pay attention to when gender identity differed from physical gender.