Dad Troubles

[Fanta_Lover44]

When i was 1 my mum and dad split and over the years things got worse, stopped seeing dad etc. Over the years seeing him got less and less till eventaully no contact, we got back in touch 3/5 years ago but the problem is now becuase i've grown up with my step Dad i've kind of moved on becuase my dad's a right idiot. He never makes an effort to see us, He cares alot more about his part of the family and his first son unlike me and my two brothers.

My point is that i feel like i want to turn around and say i dont want to ever see you again as some of the things that hes done over the years arn't too kind. I also feel like he's not my dad, it feels like he's an ordinary person and if he was to arrange for us to go his for a weekend i wouldn't be exited or anything?

Has anyone else had this problem? I just don't want to know him sometimes and feel like im the only one.....

[Pierce]

I haven't been in the same predicement as you but I do think that based on what you said about him, it woukd be completely justifiable if you cut off contact with him. Theres no point in having to pretend to like someone. You can either just stop contacting him or tell him that you want to cut contact because you don't feel as if he is truly your father. Best of luck!

[Second Chance]

I remember someone else around here had the exact same problem, and his dad left his mum when he was like a toddler. The dad had very infrequent contact with the guy, and in the end the dad was more like a casual acquaintance than an actual father. The person who I'm talking about ended up treating his stepfather like his actual dad because his father was never around.

If your father is not a good person or is otherwise self centered, then I would not make the effort to get to know the guy. Especially since you have tried to do stuff with him only to be kept at a distance it is pretty clear your birth father has other priorities. At least you seem to have a decent step father, and I would focus your efforts with him.

It hurts when a parent doesn't act like a parent, and I can see why you're disappointed. I have seen a lot of situations where stepparents are actually a lot better than the actual parent, and if you have a step parent who is pretty good to you, then I would look at that rather than feeling down about your birth father.

[Fanta_Lover44]

Thanks guys for the reply, i can't thank you enough. My dad has never ever been there when i needed him and i treat my stepdad like a proper dad.

[Second Chance]

Thanks guys for the reply, i can't thank you enough. My dad has never ever been there when i needed him and i treat my stepdad like a proper dad.

I think you have the solution to your problem, and just do stuff with your stepdad since he is a proper dad in everyway. It is your father's loss that he is not hanging out with you, and one day your biological father will regret the time he could have spent with you.

Anyway, I would not waste time thinking about your biological father since your stepdad seems to fill the void very well and takes care of you. There is no sense in wasting time on someone who doesn't care about you one way or the other.

[xmojox]

Any guy with a dick can be a father, but, it takes a real man to be a dad, and it sounds like you have a good one in your stepdad. Don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from your biological father, as he's brought it on himself. He needs to grow up and act like the adult he's supposed to be. Good luck to you.