How do I help amazing best friend?

[eeee]

I became really close to one of my best friends this year, and she is absolutely amazing. Incredible person (a billion times the person I could ever be), great personality, fun to be around, hilarious, kind person, darn near perfect.

Lately she's told me about some of the issues she has at home. For starters, her mom is Japanese but her dad is American. Her dad is amazing, but works full-time. Her mom is the main problem; she is (for lack of a better word) psycho. She gets mad at everything and anything, beats her (although not as much anymore), and makes her feel like crap. For example, my friend asked her mom to take her shopping so she can buy some Converse, and she was so angry that she's refusing to feed her (thank God she can cook). My friend does more work than her mom by far. She has 3 younger siblings which she has to watch over even though they don't listen. She's never had a true summer vacation, she goes to Japan every summer to go to school there which she absolutely hates. And her mom doesn't let her do stuff with her friends even though she more than deserves it.

She doesn't get to have a real childhood, she's looking forward to college (which no middle schooler should EVER have to do) just so she can get away from her mom. She's contemplated suicide before, but (thank God) never attempted it. The most stunning part about this is that I've known her for over five years, and I would've never known if they hadn't told me because she puts on a smile every damn day and powers through it. I have an OK situation at home and I know I whine and complain about more than my fair share even though I have friends who've been through much worse and haven't said a thing.

I'm probably not doing her story justice. I rarely ever shed a tear but when she told me all of this, if I hadn't been talking to another friend, I would've been bawling. I feel SOOOOOO bad for her. If I could trade places w/ her for a while just to give her a break, I'd do immediately. She is an incredible person, and I want to know what I can do to help her out.

What can I do to help her out?

[Jinxxy]

I was in the same situation when I lived with my mother.
Difference is, when I told people how abusive my mum was and how she used to get drunk and beat me, barely anybody believed me, so it's really great to hear you are supporting your friend in her difficult situation :)

You should take her to talk to your school's guidance councillor and if that fails - the head of the school (in confidentiality, of course).

Failing that, look into supported accommodation (accommodation supported by councillors, care workers and other adults that are connected to the care system).
If the American accommodation system is like the one here in England, then you get a room in a house that you share with other teens/young adults between the ages of 16-24 (18 being the average age there). Those other teens/young adults all have pretty much all the same problems - whether it be with drugs, being kicked out, abusive parents or getting out of juvy/prison.

In my case, I had a drug problem (I've been clean since Xmas!), my mum was drunken and abusive and I suffer from Depression, self harm and suicide attempts.

The supported accommodation I moved into helped me to talk about how I felt, they helped me if I couldn't sleep, they were someone to talk to and have non-judgemental conversations about anything with :)

But, your friend WILL need to be 16 and will probably need money to pay "rent" for the room she'll be given. Doesn't America have a welfare kind of benefit?
In England, we have all sorts of benefits to help those in need.

I hope I helped, even just a little :) Good luck!

[eeee]

Wow, first of all, thank you for the advice. I'm very sorry to hear that you've had to go through such a hard time, and I'm very glad that you've gotten help.

As crazy as this sounds (and I know it does), we've basically agreed that it'd be better to keep adult intervention out of it. Lots of details, I'd have to type an essay to explain. One reason is that she still wants to be around her dad.

P.S. Your profile says "Amateur model". I think you should follow that path, you're absolutely gorgeous.

[eeee]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I had a huge crush on her, and just found out today that she had one on me, so we're going out now! :yes:

[xmojox]

I think it's a cultural thing. I'd suggest that she talk to her dad about it, because if he's gone for work a lot, he probably has no idea. Other than that, be there for her. And congrats on getting together!

[eeee]

I think it's a cultural thing. I'd suggest that she talk to her dad about it, because if he's gone for work a lot, he probably has no idea. Other than that, be there for her. And congrats on getting together!

He knows. And thanks!

This may be the wrong forum, but a little tip: the friendzone isn't really a thing. We were really close as "friends", and we're now going out. If she likes you at first, that doesn't go away, she won't go from liking you to thinking of you as a friend.

[xmojox]

He knows. And thanks!

This may be the wrong forum, but a little tip: the friendzone isn't really a thing. We were really close as "friends", and we're now going out. If she likes you at first, that doesn't go away, she won't go from liking you to thinking of you as a friend.

You're welcome. I hope things get better for her.