Bi/gay guys and girls in the locker room what's it like, difficult, no problem?

[drew6]

....

[Naue]

Maybe he just has a big penis, or you're just too concerned.

Being gay, I don't get aroused while getting changed. It isn't fair on other people, imo.

Just because people bend both ways doesn't really mean that they're some sort of ravaged soul. Just like anyone, we respect people's right to privacy. I wouldn't want someone else, gay or not, being creepy with me in the changing room :P

[teen.jpg]

I'm bi, and I have to admit I look at other guys in the locker room.

... Just like I look at girls when they walk by. It's balanced, I guess?

[Jinxxy]

Next to our changing rooms, there were toilets - most of the girls got changed in there when I was around - I'm Bi, by the way...

I didn't look often, or make it obvious if I did, they were all just really homophobic and bullies...

Some even used to shout (in front of the tutor - who never corrected them) "LESBIAN!" and laugh hysterically at me.

People used to trip me, too.

[Jinxxy]

By the way - I'm normally 50/50, but recently, I've had more of a thing for girls - even though I'm engaged - but I think that's just because I don't get any "girl action" any more :P

[drew6]

Maybe he just has a big penis, or you're just too concerned.

Being gay, I don't get aroused while getting changed. It isn't fair on other people, imo.

Just because people bend both ways doesn't really mean that they're some sort of ravaged soul. Just like anyone, we respect people's right to privacy. I wouldn't want someone else, gay or not, being creepy with me in the changing room :P

Thanks for the comment. He doesn't have a particularly big penis and it's definitely not soft, not hard, but in between. I have a penis and have seen a lot of them in the locker room, so I know what a soft one looks like because that's all i usually ever see except for this one guy i mentioned. Let's face it, when someone's dick is 4" long, sticks out and doesn't droop down at all, the head well defined, etc, etc, it isn't anywhere near flaccid - it isn't a raging boner either.

I don't think bi or gay guys are "some sort of ravaged soul" either and I don't know the sexual preference of the guy I'm talking abt. I was just looking for some insight. Other guys have commented to me abt it outside of school cuz they've seen it and I just say:

i've seen it, but idk, it's not my job to out him if he's gay.
he's a quiet guy who doesn't say much and isn't bothering anyone, so leave him alone.

That what I say to them cuz I think they want to say something.
BUT ! That's just what I say. In my mind, I DO wonder about him. Not in a bad way, I just wonder because I only know guys people who are straight or say they're straight.

Pls dont view my curiousity that I think this guy is in anyway bad or a perv or anything like that. It's just a general wondering why some dude is at a minimum semi hard in the locker room every time we're changing or showering and tbh, if I knew a little bit outside of school, I'd probably somehow gently ask abt it. But because he's a quiet person who doesn't seem to want to know other guys on the team outside of school, i'm just going to be respectful, just like he is.

The reason it's on my mind is because it's out of the ordinary and hard not to spot when he's 3 feet from me and other guys. my hope is that no one starts junk with him because he's already kind of a loner. i'd like think i'd stick up for him, but i hope just by already telling guys i know to leave him alone that they realize i'm not going to give the guy crap about it.

Also, you said that you don't get aroused while changing because it isn't fair etc. cool for you. At certain times I don't have that kind of control.

[Naue]

Thanks for the comment. He doesn't have a particularly big penis and it's definitely not soft, not hard, but in between. I have a penis and have seen a lot of them in the locker room, so I know what a soft one looks like because that's all i usually ever see except for this one guy i mentioned. Let's face it, when someone's dick is 4" long, sticks out and doesn't droop down at all, the head well defined, etc, etc, it isn't anywhere near flaccid - it isn't a raging boner either.

I don't think bi or gay guys are "some sort of ravaged soul" either and I don't know the sexual preference of the guy I'm talking abt. I was just looking for some insight. Other guys have commented to me abt it outside of school cuz they've seen it and I just say:

i've seen it, but idk, it's not my job to out him if he's gay.
he's a quiet guy who doesn't say much and isn't bothering anyone, so leave him alone.

That what I say to them cuz I think they want to say something.
BUT ! That's just what I say. In my mind, I DO wonder about him. Not in a bad way, I just wonder because I only know guys people who are straight or say they're straight.

Pls dont view my curiousity that I think this guy is in anyway bad or a perv or anything like that. It's just a general wondering why some dude is at a minimum semi hard in the locker room every time we're changing or showering and tbh, if I knew a little bit outside of school, I'd probably somehow gently ask abt it. But because he's a quiet person who doesn't seem to want to know other guys on the team outside of school, i'm just going to be respectful, just like he is.

The reason it's on my mind is because it's out of the ordinary and hard not to spot when he's 3 feet from me and other guys. my hope is that no one starts junk with him because he's already kind of a loner. i'd like think i'd stick up for him, but i hope just by already telling guys i know to leave him alone that they realize i'm not going to give the guy crap about it.

Also, you said that you don't get aroused while changing because it isn't fair etc. cool for you. At certain times I don't have that kind of control.

Yeah I get you :)

Sorry I didn't mean to come across as being bitchy :P

Thanks for the insight though, enjoy your Easter!

[steellord321]

Well If he is shy i would think the issue could just be he's uncomfortable in the locker room and thats what causes it. I knew a couple kids in swim class like that but we were only 8-9 so i really doubt attraction was the issue. Then again it could be just like u say. I'm glad u told them not to bother this guy about it cause that be complete hell and he'd maybe even quit the team. I only had to shower 1 semester and yeah, i was nervous at times. Just did everything i could not to look around cause its just not worth the risk. This might even explain why he's so quiet. Opening up means others may find out. Since your so mature about it though i'm sure he'd like to have a friend like u.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Luckily I don't go to the locker rooms anymore :P
I look at guys sometimes, in the hallway and in class.

[txtwister13]

my level of attraction is around 60% guys and 40% gurls but that does change depending on who i'm crushing on.....the locker room thing has never been a problem for me, the girls are my friends and teammates and i don't think about them in a sexual way.

[LiamC]

We always go into the same changing rooms for PE and it's just a given thing that everybody goes to their spots, and two guys I find really hot are in the room with me, I have to admit I sneakily look at them, and sometimes those images stick in my mind if they're wearing particularly tight underwear or something. One of them knows I'm gay, and he often jokes about how I must love the changing rooms, in a friendly way. Well I do to be fair :p

[cyborg77]

It is OK because they are my friends for years and they are all straight so I have no sexual feelings for them.

[drew6]

Luckily I don't go to the locker rooms anymore :P
I look at guys sometimes, in the hallway and in class.

LOL, that just struck me as funny haha

my level of attraction is around 60% guys and 40% gurls but that does change depending on who i'm crushing on.....the locker room thing has never been a problem for me, the girls are my friends and teammates and i don't think about them in a sexual way.

That's impressive because if i had to shower and change clothes in the girls locker room, I'd get aroused. If a guy is attracted to dudes, no clue how they could control it in our locker room other than to stare only at the ceiling somehow. lol

We always go into the same changing rooms for PE and it's just a given thing that everybody goes to their spots, and two guys I find really hot are in the room with me, I have to admit I sneakily look at them, and sometimes those images stick in my mind if they're wearing particularly tight underwear or something. One of them knows I'm gay, and he often jokes about how I must love the changing rooms, in a friendly way. Well I do to be fair :p

Cool for him and you. if i was your buddy, i'd say kinda the same thing or flat out ask ya how you control that bad boy.


Well If he is shy i would think the issue could just be he's uncomfortable in the locker room and thats what causes it. I knew a couple kids in swim class like that but we were only 8-9 so i really doubt attraction was the issue. Then again it could be just like u say. I'm glad u told them not to bother this guy about it cause that be complete hell and he'd maybe even quit the team. I only had to shower 1 semester and yeah, i was nervous at times. Just did everything i could not to look around cause its just not worth the risk. This might even explain why he's so quiet. Opening up means others may find out. Since your so mature about it though i'm sure he'd like to have a friend like u.

Hmmm good one. For me, if i'm nervous, getting excited would be the opposite of what would happen. it would shrink or do nothing, so that's some good insight.

to be clear, i just told the guys that were at my house the day someone brought up his name and semi hardness. So it's not like i have influence over the whole team or other spring sports teams. On the other hand, he is right next to me and it's not like anyone is peering up and down the rows, but in the shower, ya see everybody.

He's a guy who gets in and gets out pretty quickly, the rest of us, just go with the flow. like, we're not in a big hurry to see how fast we can go from dressed for practice, strip, shower and get dressed as fast as we can. He isn't going as fast as he can, but almost. No small talk, kinda short answers, in, out, done. IDK, maybe his dad is making him play or maybe he doesn't like us. Hard to tell cuz he only answers a direct question.

LOL on calling me mature. I'm as big of an idiot as most guys my age A LOT OF THE TIME, but I don't pick on people. I just don't. If I know someone well, that's different, but if only know them a little, then no way. And this guy? I don't know him at all.

Something else I noticed is that he only goes from a towel to underwear if i'm there because i block the view of people passing buy in the main isle. I guess I'm usefull as a screen haha. And today he was more aroused after a shower than normal and he saw that i noticed, looked kinda freaked out about it getting bigger or bein bigger. so rather than say "don't worry abt it" it's like i said that in my head but with the face or hand expression of "whatya gonna do". He looked just a little bit relieved, but just a little.

Now that i think of it, idk any shy people and duh, now realize, they are kinda hard to know. This particular dude is so fast in locker room, that there really isn't time for a convo and he's not in any of my classes.

It's like he and a couple of girls i see around are really quiet, don't look too happy ever, never see them talking with people and they look like they kinda wanna be left alone. BUT I can't imagine going to school all day, not talking to people, so it's hard for me to understand cuz i can't relate. most kids are talkers imo.

[steellord321]

I really don't think i can answer for sure from here cause what u describe both jives with extreme shyness and a closeted guy afraid of being caught. Could be both. The only thing is i dont get how someone that shy can join a sports team but see that's the thing. No one wants to keep to themself all day every day, they just feel forced into it. Like me...I used to be so outgoing. The closet is one possible reason.

The thing is if u went into the girls locker room u probly wouldnt be deathly afraid to get hard like he might be. That will do wonders to prevent it.

I meant tho being mature about this, cuz the guys i know would react violently if they think someone is gay in the locker room.

[drew6]

I really don't think i can answer for sure from here cause what u describe both jives with extreme shyness and a closeted guy afraid of being caught. Could be both. The only thing is i dont get how someone that shy can join a sports team but see that's the thing. No one wants to keep to themself all day every day, they just feel forced into it. Like me...I used to be so outgoing. The closet is one possible reason.



The thing is if u went into the girls locker room u probly wouldnt be deathly afraid to get hard like he might be. That will do wonders to prevent it.

I meant tho being mature about this, cuz the guys i know would react violently if they think someone is gay in the locker room.

So wait... you used to be out going and now youre not? Are you just going through a rough time for a short period or is this just the way you are now? Nothing wrong with being shy, just harder for people to read you or to be able to tell if you just don't like them or something.

I think you're right that it's a kinda odd that he'd be on a team sport, that's why I kinda think he's either forced into it by his dad OR he just doesn't like me or my team mates - and we're pretty stupid sometimes, so I can't claim it's his problem or something.

Idk, just a little weird that he's a year older and doesn't seem to know anyone. He was on the team last year too, so it's not like he's new to the school or anything. Gotta admit, the school is a typical big high school and it put me on edge when I first went there cuz it seems like you don't see anyone you know when you first start going there even though all the kids you went to 8th grade are in there somewhere.

I don't know if guys would react violently if someone were gay and in the locker room, but maybe. I might be out of that kind of loop cuz a few of my team mates know my parents and they know, that my parents would be really pissed and I'd get in trouble if I did anything violent at school except if i was defending someone else. my parents are pretty much up my butt about being nice. They say, 'if you can't be nice, then just fake it". they are a bit funny abt it. I kinda think they don't want me to be an ass as much as they don't want the time and embarassment of having to deal with getting called in to school to talk abt me doing something wrong.


BTW, saw that guy again today. just kept to himself all practice. short answers only. what's weird is he's a really good lacrosse player and really coordinated and fast. Then when he steps off the field, it's like he's in a shell or something.

I was in a really fun mood today and I almost said to him, "hey, whats the deal with you, you're like this awesome lacrosse player, who like never says anything". At least that's what was in my head and it sounded really dickish so i didn't say anything.

I guess any shy person, Like you for example, are probably nice people and probably not a-holes like a lot of loud guys are and its always nice to get to know someone who's at least not an a-hole and who is a year older and who's really good at a sport i'd like to be better at.

I'll try an keep my mouth shut tho. he's a junior and i'm a year behind him, so i don't want start junk or or put him on the spot.

It's just wierd that he's naked 3 feet from me every day, semi hard, older than me and during a two and a half hours of changing clothes, practice and usually showering, he'll say S'up. SOmetimes not even that. just raised eyebrows or kind of a mini smile/smirk.

The WHY part of all this is that being on a team should be fun and it doesn't seem like he's having any fun and it kinda drags some of us down or just makes the whole experience less fun. Like my buddies will be talkin near my locker and when he shows up , they quit talking or leave.

Thanks for your mature comment tho. did make me smile.

[peaceNlove]

To me it seems as though he might be gay, and doesn't want to really talk to anyone because he doesn't want to show that he's gay. He's probably shy because he knows that he is having a semi-boner and feels uncomfortable or nervous because he doesn't know if the team would be violent or rude to him. Tbh, if i was in his situation, i probably would be the same way. People can be unpredictably mean, especially when it comes to being gay. So, if he is, it seems like he's trying to lay low by not interacting with the team. Maybe he enjoys playing, but is too caught up in what the team thinks of him, so acts shy. Why don't you try talking to him outside of school so that he doesn't feel like an outsider? He could also just be shy, but this is what I got from what you were saying.

[steellord321]

So wait... you used to be out going and now youre not? Are you just going through a rough time for a short period or is this just the way you are now? Nothing wrong with being shy, just harder for people to read you or to be able to tell if you just don't like them or something.

I think you're right that it's a kinda odd that he'd be on a team sport, that's why I kinda think he's either forced into it by his dad OR he just doesn't like me or my team mates - and we're pretty stupid sometimes, so I can't claim it's his problem or something.

Idk, just a little weird that he's a year older and doesn't seem to know anyone. He was on the team last year too, so it's not like he's new to the school or anything. Gotta admit, the school is a typical big high school and it put me on edge when I first went there cuz it seems like you don't see anyone you know when you first start going there even though all the kids you went to 8th grade are in there somewhere.

I don't know if guys would react violently if someone were gay and in the locker room, but maybe. I might be out of that kind of loop cuz a few of my team mates know my parents and they know, that my parents would be really pissed and I'd get in trouble if I did anything violent at school except if i was defending someone else. my parents are pretty much up my butt about being nice. They say, 'if you can't be nice, then just fake it". they are a bit funny abt it. I kinda think they don't want me to be an ass as much as they don't want the time and embarassment of having to deal with getting called in to school to talk abt me doing something wrong.


BTW, saw that guy again today. just kept to himself all practice. short answers only. what's weird is he's a really good lacrosse player and really coordinated and fast. Then when he steps off the field, it's like he's in a shell or something.

I was in a really fun mood today and I almost said to him, "hey, whats the deal with you, you're like this awesome lacrosse player, who like never says anything". At least that's what was in my head and it sounded really dickish so i didn't say anything.

I guess any shy person, Like you for example, are probably nice people and probably not a-holes like a lot of loud guys are and its always nice to get to know someone who's at least not an a-hole and who is a year older and who's really good at a sport i'd like to be better at.

I'll try an keep my mouth shut tho. he's a junior and i'm a year behind him, so i don't want start junk or or put him on the spot.

It's just wierd that he's naked 3 feet from me every day, semi hard, older than me and during a two and a half hours of changing clothes, practice and usually showering, he'll say S'up. SOmetimes not even that. just raised eyebrows or kind of a mini smile/smirk.

The WHY part of all this is that being on a team should be fun and it doesn't seem like he's having any fun and it kinda drags some of us down or just makes the whole experience less fun. Like my buddies will be talkin near my locker and when he shows up , they quit talking or leave.

Thanks for your mature comment tho. did make me smile.

I get what your saying. Teams should be close. Sounds like sports is an outlet for him then while competing. I'm sure he has fun at those moments. Why he doesnt have fun off the field? Well like ya said others suspect that he's gay and he's probly worried as hell about it.

However i do think if he had 1 friend on the team he could talk to that could make all the diff and then he'll become closer to the team. If u wanna go for it, Its not gonna begin in the locker room tho where he's stressed. You could just invite him over or somethin...

To answer your ? yeah, that's the whole point is for people to not read you. Dunno if its permanent but yeah, i basically shut down after years of teasing over bein kinda effeminate, but i was a normal outgoing kid except for that.

Then others just started to flat out ask and not in helpful way "are you gay/a fag" and i was also assaulted a few times. So i just keep to myself hoping i'll be left alone, since it seems none will talk to me now anyway. This has been a couple years so i dunno if that's a short period, but i do feel like i can't take it anymore sometimes. I might even transfer after this school year, dunno. So, u dunno what that guy has been thru or thinks he risks by opening up.

But i like these exchanges cuz deep down i don't want to see str8 guys as the enemy. I could still talk on and on given the chance and do at home sometimes, so i think it can turn around someday. I really hope so anyway. maybe it helps u understand this guy also.

[drew6]

I get what your saying. Teams should be close. Sounds like sports is an outlet for him then while competing. I'm sure he has fun at those moments. Why he doesnt have fun off the field? Well like ya said others suspect that he's gay and he's probly worried as hell about it.

However i do think if he had 1 friend on the team he could talk to that could make all the diff and then he'll become closer to the team. If u wanna go for it, Its not gonna begin in the locker room tho where he's stressed. You could just invite him over or somethin...

To answer your ? yeah, that's the whole point is for people to not read you. Dunno if its permanent but yeah, i basically shut down after years of teasing over bein kinda effeminate, but i was a normal outgoing kid except for that.

Then others just started to flat out ask and not in helpful way "are you gay/a fag" and i was also assaulted a few times. So i just keep to myself hoping i'll be left alone, since it seems none will talk to me now anyway. This has been a couple years so i dunno if that's a short period, but i do feel like i can't take it anymore sometimes. I might even transfer after this school year, dunno. So, u dunno what that guy has been thru or thinks he risks by opening up.

But i like these exchanges cuz deep down i don't want to see str8 guys as the enemy. I could still talk on and on given the chance and do at home sometimes, so i think it can turn around someday. I really hope so anyway. maybe it helps u understand this guy also.

---------

I'd be miserable in your situation too because school kinda sux to begin with and if i didn't have my few friends, team mates and the little bit of social fun there is at school, I'd wanna quit or transfer too. Sorry to hear about kids teasing you too. At my school, if you get caught calling someone a fag, you get detention after school and have to arrange a ride. Do it again and it's a saturday detention for 6 hours. None of that at my school.

You mentioned assaulted. That's another no go in our school. Hit another kid, you're thrown out of school. Period. No appeal, no nothing. To quote teh principal, "hit another student and you're gone. Done. You're parents will have to drive you to another school district or get yourself there on your own. "

So sorry to hear about that part of your life.

Just so you know, Str8 guys aren't your enemy. We just aren't. There might be some that jerks, but that's just some of them.

Today was kind of a wierd day concerning that kid and these exchanges help me too btw. Again, weirdest day today.


I'm not saying he should be our best friend, but like today we were talking about opening day of baseball, how the Atlanta braves looked, the Yankees etc. Someone asked him (mike) and his total answer was - I don't know. He might as well have said eff you, I don't know.

I or we don't want or need to know his every thought, but when someone keeps giving you answers like that about everything. Like never once share a thought or opinion on anything. Ya notice it and it makes ya wonder what their problem is or what their problem is with us.

I'd be miserable in your situation too because school kinda sux to begin with and if i didn't have my few friends, team mates and the little bit of social fun there is at school, I'd wanna quit or transfer too. Sorry to hear about kids teasing you too. At my school, if you get caught calling someone a fag, you get detention after school and have to arrange a ride. Do it again and it's a saturday detention for 6 hours. None of that at my school.

To help you understand what's going on. Picture a standard locker room with a main isle and a bunch of off shoots for lockers, kinda like this ++++++++. His (mike) locker is up against the wall furthest from the main isle. mine is like 3 feet from his and closer to the isle. About 12-15 of us in the one off shoot. If no one is across from him at the time, he faces the wall. If there is, he faces his locker. We change every day and other teams are there too, like track and baseball.

When we go from classes to changing for lacrosse, his points to 5 oclock and is like 3-4 inches. After practice in the showers it's 4 oclock and 4 inches - not soft, but not hard. Guys in the showers have said "mikes getting hard" and he gets pissed off and leaves, but that happens to any guy who isn't completely soft and the rest of us laugh it off with an eff you and finish showering and talking and it goes away. Him, he's pissed and leaves immediately. When we get back to the lockers with towel on that's where we get dressed. If no one is across from him, I don't see anything, which is a good day to me. If someone is there he faces the locker and I cant help but see it some days because it's sticking straight out or slightly up and is at least 5". At least. That's the minimum. Some days it looks 6 or bigger and even then it doesn't look like he's completely erect yet cuz it isn't all red or veiny, but it's getting there.

That's Every. Single. Day. And only I've seen that. Those days are the days I dread and hope no one else sees it, cuz no way, would another dude let that go cuz they'd make a big deal about it. Particularly guys who are in another sport.

So every single day... he won't get dressed until I'm back at my locker if there are other guys across the bench and his semi boner is why. I know it and he knows I know it. And he knows, without ever saying a word to me that, I'll causually get dressed and pretend not to see it.

So you'd think, if I, of ALL PEOPLE, ask him something, I'd get more than a one word answer, but I don't. I think that's pretty shitty given I could EASILY step back, Point and say mikes got a boner AGAIN, but I don't.

THAT'S what has me thinking about him. Not the semi erection, the fact that I could make his life hell and choose not to even though I get some pretty shitty answers out of him or get leveled by him in practice or sometimes even cheap shotted by him in practice. Okay, I'm venting at this point... It just pisses me off to be honest with you. I def don't want to be next to a dude with a boner every day, but I am. I don't really want to be associated with that, but I figure for the greater good, I'll just ignore it.

Also, I'm in NO WAY afraid of him. Yeah he's 17 and I'm abt to be 16 and he's bigger, but if other guys on the team or off the team saw what I see every day and that it's waaaaaay worse or waaaay more erect than in the showers, idk.. I guess I'd want at least some common curtisy in life like some non one word answers or how about not doing illegal hits on me in practice? Granted I get him back when that happens, but why do that to THE guy, THE only guy, in the whole freaking school who COULD throw you under the bus and literally has your back as a team mate and as a fellow human being in the locker room? Shit I just abt have tears in my eyes typing this, I'm so pissed at him. Today he cross checked me so hard, I thought he broke one of my ribs. Then he slashed me across the neck. Coach made him two miles in under 12.5 min for that after practice. These aren't accidental either. Total cheap shots. Total dick moves on his part. Shouldn't cheap shot anyone, ever. Much less a team mate -twice and like I said, def NOT the one guy that knows waaay more abt your locker room boners than anyone else.

Sorry, I'm just pissed at him. Or was. Just writing it made me mad again, but my day gets better.

Today I was nearly the last kid in the locker room and went i went out front to see where my mom parked, I noticed the guy (mike) as i jogged by. To get out of the school my mom had to drive right by him cuz he's outside at the front entrance of the school, so my mom said who's that? It's late, maybe he could use a ride home. I told her he doesn't. He sticks to
himself, let's just go. She's not havin it. She pulls up and tells me to ask him if he needs a ride. I told her he doesn't talk to anyone really, he won't want it, let's just go. She lowers my window anyway, so i ask him and he answers with -actually it'd help me out if you don't mind.

I'm think "great, the kid who just slashed me twice during practice who never speaks to anyone .. yay mom....."

So he gets in says thanks and that's it. Well.... oh shiiiiit is my mom asking him questions! And he's answering them without one word answers. I'm like wtf in my head. So she finds out he could use a ride every Tuessday and Friday after practice. Other players and coach weren't aware that he could use a ride, but, my mom finds that out in 3 minutes. Granted its kinda because i was running late and he happened to be there. Turns out his parents can't pick him up until about a half hour after practice is usually over on tuesdays. He's a junior, our team has a few players who drive themselves home, so it's just weird he'd just sit there waiting even though he's the first one out of the locker room after practice. No clue where he went given that he had to wait anyway.


So the two of them and kinda me are chatting the whole way home. I'm amazed. Granted it's all surface stuff, but I know way more abt him than anyone I know of at this point. My mom asks him if he'd like to come over for dinner - and get this - said "I would, like I really would and not just saying that Mrs. X, but I got stuff I gotta do, so maybe some other time". My mom
doesn't let that pass, "how about next tuesday?" He says, yeah, that'd be great. I'm in the front seat just amazed. He gets out and I start laughing and my mom is like what? So I tell her that he pretty much illegally beat the shit out of me today and people have been wondering what his story was cuz he doesn't seem to have any friends and is really, really quiet and sticks to himself, like forever and in like two minutes she cracked that shell wide open. Then she's "oh honey, I thought he was a friend of yours. do you not want him to come over? should I not have offered to give him a ride? And I'm like - no mom, it's fine. It's just funny because it was so easy for you. I wouldn't call him a friend of mine at all, and he says like 50 words a week total to the whole team and he just said more words in this car in 20 minutes than I've ever heard him speak the WHOLE season! LOL

She says, "oh honey, I'm sorry. I thought he was a friend of yours because hes on the team and all and you seem to know everyone on your team. I hope this isn't going to be awkward for you.. I wonder why he accepted if he's so quiet?"

IDK Ma, maybe he likes you haha. It'll be fine. The whole thing is just funny to me that's all.

Gotta love chatty Moms. But seriously. Of all the days to give him a ride and apparently my mom is having him over for dinner in a week.

I guess I wanted to know something about him and now I do thanks to mom.

[peaceNlove]

I think it's awesome that you don't bully him. Nobody needs that and it could ruin somebody's life. Especially sense he seems so shy and cautious, it seems like he's trying to not interact with anyone because of reactions. He gets horny, but is that something somebody can ignore? Maybe cut him some slack. I can understand your anger for the hits, but how do you know for sure that they were on purpose(I don't know anything about lacrosse so i don't really know what an illegal hit looks like)? Oh and for him going to dinner, i think that's a great opportunity to see what he's like and also to maybe become his friend so he's not so alone(it was kinda his choice but he probably just feels like no one likes him)? And maybe he's able to talk to your mom because she seems friendly due to her offering him a ride, and usually adults like that aren't really as judgmental like teenagers are.

[steellord321]

---------

THAT'S what has me thinking about him. Not the semi erection, the fact that I could make his life hell and choose not to even though I get some pretty shitty answers out of him or get leveled by him in practice or sometimes even cheap shotted by him in practice. Okay, I'm venting at this point... It just pisses me off to be honest with you. I def don't want to be next to a dude with a boner every day, but I am. I don't really want to be associated with that, but I figure for the greater good, I'll just ignore it.

Also, I'm in NO WAY afraid of him. Yeah he's 17 and I'm abt to be 16 and he's bigger, but if other guys on the team or off the team saw what I see every day and that it's waaaaaay worse or waaaay more erect than in the showers, idk.. I guess I'd want at least some common curtisy in life like some non one word answers or how about not doing illegal hits on me in practice? Granted I get him back when that happens, but why do that to THE guy, THE only guy, in the whole freaking school who COULD throw you under the bus and literally has your back as a team mate and as a fellow human being in the locker room? Shit I just abt have tears in my eyes typing this, I'm so pissed at him. Today he cross checked me so hard, I thought he broke one of my ribs. Then he slashed me across the neck. Coach made him two miles in under 12.5 min for that after practice. These aren't accidental either. Total cheap shots. Total dick moves on his part. Shouldn't cheap shot anyone, ever. Much less a team mate -twice and like I said, def NOT the one guy that knows waaay more abt your locker room boners than anyone else.

Sorry, I'm just pissed at him. Or was. Just writing it made me mad again, but my day gets better.

Today I was nearly the last kid in the locker room and went i went out front to see where my mom parked, I noticed the guy (mike) as i jogged by. To get out of the school my mom had to drive right by him cuz he's outside at the front entrance of the school, so my mom said who's that? It's late, maybe he could use a ride home. I told her he doesn't. He sticks to
himself, let's just go. She's not havin it. She pulls up and tells me to ask him if he needs a ride. I told her he doesn't talk to anyone really, he won't want it, let's just go. She lowers my window anyway, so i ask him and he answers with -actually it'd help me out if you don't mind.

I'm think "great, the kid who just slashed me twice during practice who never speaks to anyone .. yay mom....."

So he gets in says thanks and that's it. Well.... oh shiiiiit is my mom asking him questions! And he's answering them without one word answers. I'm like wtf in my head. So she finds out he could use a ride every Tuessday and Friday after practice. Other players and coach weren't aware that he could use a ride, but, my mom finds that out in 3 minutes. Granted its kinda because i was running late and he happened to be there. Turns out his parents can't pick him up until about a half hour after practice is usually over on tuesdays. He's a junior, our team has a few players who drive themselves home, so it's just weird he'd just sit there waiting even though he's the first one out of the locker room after practice. No clue where he went given that he had to wait anyway.


So the two of them and kinda me are chatting the whole way home. I'm amazed. Granted it's all surface stuff, but I know way more abt him than anyone I know of at this point. My mom asks him if he'd like to come over for dinner - and get this - said "I would, like I really would and not just saying that Mrs. X, but I got stuff I gotta do, so maybe some other time". My mom
doesn't let that pass, "how about next tuesday?" He says, yeah, that'd be great. I'm in the front seat just amazed. He gets out and I start laughing and my mom is like what? So I tell her that he pretty much illegally beat the shit out of me today and people have been wondering what his story was cuz he doesn't seem to have any friends and is really, really quiet and sticks to himself, like forever and in like two minutes she cracked that shell wide open. Then she's "oh honey, I thought he was a friend of yours. do you not want him to come over? should I not have offered to give him a ride? And I'm like - no mom, it's fine. It's just funny because it was so easy for you. I wouldn't call him a friend of mine at all, and he says like 50 words a week total to the whole team and he just said more words in this car in 20 minutes than I've ever heard him speak the WHOLE season! LOL

She says, "oh honey, I'm sorry. I thought he was a friend of yours because hes on the team and all and you seem to know everyone on your team. I hope this isn't going to be awkward for you.. I wonder why he accepted if he's so quiet?"

IDK Ma, maybe he likes you haha. It'll be fine. The whole thing is just funny to me that's all.

Gotta love chatty Moms. But seriously. Of all the days to give him a ride and apparently my mom is having him over for dinner in a week.

I guess I wanted to know something about him and now I do thanks to mom.



Well its cool to vent. Thats unreal that he does that to ya and u have every right to be pissed. Makes me not want to defend him at all, but it does make sense in a way. Since u could out him he's trying to scare u maybe not knowing ya wouldn't do that. I mean how is he to know that? You guys need to communicate this somehow cuz it's unecessary conflict.

I dunno, u could use the opportunity when he comes over to talk about all this. As u can see, outside the locker room and school the barriers go down. Definitely tell him to stop with the cheap shots. Even bring up the other stuff if it helps get the point across cuz no way u should be treated like that. But other than that, could also get your questions answered, maybe. I find it hard to believe if it goes well he won't at least gain respect for u and be willing to talk more, unless he's just a sociopath.

If he's still cheap shotting ya after he's over for dinner and u make an attempt to work this out, at that point i would just tell the others and drive him off the team. I don't say it lightly but you've done everything possible then. I mean i give ya a lot of credit for restraining yourself even up to now.


But yeah my school is like anarchy so i'm jealous. I just can't imagine detention for saying fag cause i hear it like 2 dozen times every day. Its sooo small too like grade 6-12 same building and everyone knows each other, so with a gay label it really is just bleh. That's why i'm unsure about str8 guys sometimes cuz like all of em at best won't talk to me. But i can see on this forum its not always like that.

[drew6]

I think it's awesome that you don't bully him. Nobody needs that and it could ruin somebody's life. Especially sense he seems so shy and cautious, it seems like he's trying to not interact with anyone because of reactions. He gets horny, but is that something somebody can ignore? Maybe cut him some slack. I can understand your anger for the hits, but how do you know for sure that they were on purpose(I don't know anything about lacrosse so i don't really know what an illegal hit looks like)? Oh and for him going to dinner, i think that's a great opportunity to see what he's like and also to maybe become his friend so he's not so alone(it was kinda his choice but he probably just feels like no one likes him)? And maybe he's able to talk to your mom because she seems friendly due to her offering him a ride, and usually adults like that aren't really as judgmental like teenagers are.

Not sure I could bully him, he's bigger than i am. I'll explain the hits below with some video links of similar and what went on today. No clue abt dinner, you'll see why. I agree with you on the adult factor of my mom being there or maybe just because it was just the 3 of us.

Well its cool to vent. Thats unreal that he does that to ya and u have every right to be pissed. Makes me not want to defend him at all, but it does make sense in a way. Since u could out him he's trying to scare u maybe not knowing ya wouldn't do that. I mean how is he to know that? You guys need to communicate this somehow cuz it's unecessary conflict.

you don't need to defend him, but you can. I like your insights. It'll eventually be fine. He def intimidated me. So much that I can't sleep right now cuz my ribs hurt. haha



I dunno, u could use the opportunity when he comes over to talk about all this. As u can see, outside the locker room and school the barriers go down. Definitely tell him to stop with the cheap shots. Even bring up the other stuff if it helps get the point across cuz no way u should be treated like that. But other than that, could also get your questions answered, maybe. I find it hard to believe if it goes well he won't at least gain respect for u and be willing to talk more, unless he's just a sociopath.



If he's still cheap shotting ya after he's over for dinner and u make an attempt to work this out, at that point i would just tell the others and drive him off the team. I don't say it lightly but you've done everything possible then. I mean i give ya a lot of credit for restraining yourself even up to now.


Thanks, unless he punches me in the face I'll try to go with the flow and part of me wonders if he is a mental case after some crap he said today. No clue if dinner is on or what he's doing. he're what happened today:

Just so I don't mislead you guys. He doesn't do illegal hits usually. Yesterday was just odd. We just don't play that way, and he never did before. No one does, because in a game, it's like hockey. Get a penalty and your team is a man down. In practice you're beating on your team mates. Lacrosse is played with a stick that has a net at the end. Stick is pretty tough, made out of metal. A player can't just go wailing away at a guy, you gotta be going after the ball. So what he was doing was holding his stick at the end and swinging it like it's a tennis racket except his stick is 40-42 inches long. Stick is long enough that the end is going really fast if you swing it one handed, the penalty is called slashing. Cant hit a guys neck or head ever, we have a helmet, but neck is still exposed. He got me in the neck, no accident there. The other hit to the ribs, he was just side arm wailing at me. So when you ask how do I know he did it on purpose? Because it’s like these two hits:
Neck was like this (look at 1 min mark) = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GGaUn9kFxg
The hit to the ribs was like this, (around 35 sec mark) = http://www.sportsgrid.com/video/lacrosse-player-hit-in-nuts/
(at least it wasn’t to my junk, but at least junk has a cup. Ribs got nothin. Ya just don’t get hits that by accident. Plus coaches and team saw it. They were brutal hits. Took all I had to keep it together.

That’s why I said it was so weird that it's the same day my mom pulls up to him and makes me offer him a ride home, which I never thought he'd take on a regular day, much less a day he was going to take me out.

You mentioned befriend him, that’s tough for me right now. I wouldn’t tell my parents, team or coach, but my ribs are hurt worse than I first thought. He knows I’m pissed at him: Normally I at least say “what up” to him, because he’s right there. Completely ignored him today. I’ll get over it, i was hoping for an “oh sorry” from him cuz guys came over to see the bruises because they really are that bad. Amazing what a “sorry dude” can do for ya. It’s easy, it’s simple and if he cant offer that, then he’ll have to wait for me to get over it. I don’t stay mad at people very long, but honestly I think I might have cracked a rib. It hurts to breathe deeply or raise my arms above my head which it turns out we do way more than I thought. Like putting on a shirt, raise hand in class, taking a shower, haha

Coach must have seen me getting dressed. He starts practice with a warm up run, but told me to stay behind. Once the team was out of view he had me lift up my shirt and took a look at my ribs asked me to hold my stick above my head and I tried, but I just couldn’t. He said it’s pretty bad asked if I wanted to practice and I said yes. I asked him how he knew to look and he said the team captain saw me getting dressed and told him what he saw.

Then during practice a couple of us were going for a ground ball and collided. This happens 15-20 times every single day Normally it’s just a body check kinda thing. ya might get knocked down once a practice, might not. No big deal. Well I got hit, no worse than any other time and when they collided with my side, I just crumpled to the ground. Couldn’t breathe, kinda blacked out just for a sec. After that, I was told to sit down on the bench. That’s when guys really started beating on mike. Not anything like he did to me, but it’s diff when everyone is gunning for you. Team was paying him back for yesterday cuz they now realize how hurt I am. After a while I asked to go back into practice and told the guys “cut the shit, he’s a starter, i’m not. I appreciate it, I really do, but it won’t make better quicker and we need him..After a few min I asked coach if i could come out. at the end of practice coach said that’s good example of thinking of team instead of yourself first. kinda made my day.

What I do know is every lax player i know is pretty aggressive and some of them are pretty mean sometimes and I know they already feel like mike doesn’t gel with the team as it is. Having part of the team take out their daily frustrations on him would turn ugly quick. After practice the team captain tells me and mike that we’re “on gear today” and mike is to carry the heavy stuff. which means we have to put away the cones, water containers, chairs, balls etc. As we’re doing it, the captain and co-captain has the rest of the team on one knee talking to them at center field and then they’re gone. We finish putting stuff away.

Note, there is a code at our school: what happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room, So it's the one place where you hear horrible language and the occasional fight and if teacher or coach asks ya what ya saw, ya saw nothing. it's just how it is:

We get to the locker room and it’s absolutely silent. Their uniforms are on the ground, lockers open, showers on, but that’s it. Really erie. So we’re abt half undressed getting ready to take a shower, mike is to my right. The team captain comes down my isle in nothing but his towel. He very quietly and politely (not like him) excuses himself as he steps past me. After that, the co-captain, comes in wearing just a towel comes in and puts his arm around my shoulder, bangs a locker and then really fast and silently, the rest of the team shows wearing their helmet and a towels, arms folded across their chest and pack our isle. They just stare at us. Definitely a feeling of they are enforcers.

I’m nervous and can see Mike is too. I am thinkin oh shit, this is it, they are gonna beat the shit out of him. The captain gives mike a really big shove into the wall, gets about 6” from his face, points at me and screamed at Mike, “You owe him huge, HUGE!. cuz we were gonna beat the shit out of you and personally, I woulda loved it, we were gonna beat on you until you were sidelined or you quit. So quit actin like a SHY FUCKTARD all the time and act like you want to be part of this team -
BEFORE practice, DURING practice,
AFTER practice, PRE-GAME DINNERS,
ON the bus to and from games,
IN school, OUTTA school or ANY other fucking time!
ALL YEAR LONG, ALL DAY EVERY FUCKING DAY! YOU REPRESENT US!

So act like you give a shit about the rest of us. Quit acting like a SHY FAGGOT ALL THE TIME. WHEN ANY PLAYER ON THIS TEAM ASKS YOU SOMETHING, GIVE THEM A FUCKING DECENT ANSWER, NOT THIS ONE WORD BULL SHIT OF YOURS. IF A PLAYER SAYS HEY TO YOU IN THE HALL, SAY HEY BACK. AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHEN A PLAYER INVITES YOU TO A PARTY, YOU SHOW THE FUCK UP AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!! IF YOU CAN’T DO THOSE THINGS, THEN FUCKING QUIT BECAUSE YOU’RE EITHER PART OF THIS TEAM OR YOUR NOT. RIGHT NOW YOU’RE A FUCKING CANCER!

OR we’ll make you wanna quit and you don’t want that.. SEE HOW YOU FUCKED DREW UP? That’s you, but ten times worse if you don’t quit and keep being a dick.

So GRAB YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE RIGHT NOW. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!

If you show up tomorrow, we’ll have your back like we do Drew’s now and you can be part of something instead of just hangin around something. . That is all. DREW!

Then, the team started chanting my name DREW, DREW, DREW and every one of them cycled through the isle and rubbed my head. They kept chanting my name all the way to the showers. As the last one left, I shouted, “thanks guys" They stopped chanting. and I yelled, “that’s the nicest and most fucked up thing I ever was a part of”. Then they continued the chant.

Once that died down and we were alone. I said, sorry mike, I had no idea”. I was shocked that he actually said something, “I know ya didn’t.”.

He started getting his junk together to leave and I told him to wait a sec and have a seat and just listen for a sec and told him, “You realize he’s just looking out for the team right? You’re a starter, I’m not. You’re very good, I’m just okay, but I’m down with the team and you just don’t want to be a part of it and it’s a cool thing to be part of something AND they actually want you to be part of it, but they can’t have you here messing up what we got and you are.

Think about it. They want a guy that’s part of a team, not just some guy who is good on his own, but you hardly say anything to anyone and it bugs people. I know, because they ask and know my locker is right here. I think they coulda lived with that, but you fucked me up pretty bad, ya really did. I mean look at me. THAT’s fucked up.

Like why woulda do that? You know I totally cover for you and got your back and I attempt to be nice to you even tho you don't try and I don’t say shit about you to anyone and you know what I’m talkin about. So to me, there’s this guy.... me, who’s really decent to you and THAT'S the guy you beat the shit out of.... twice.... in ONE practice...like I think I have a cracked rib or something. I really do. So before you go, can you just tell me why you did that to me because I’m not sure you’re coming back”.

He said, “idk, i was just pissed off at you and took it out on you. that’s pretty much it. As I was doing it, I meant to do it, like in those moments I fucking hated you. I didn’t mean to fuck you up as much as i did, and I’m sorry abt that, but I was pissed off at you and I did it on purpose. I gotta go”.

Me, “wow, that’s messed up right there, but you didn’t quite answer my question. so, why were you pissed off at me”? He said, I tell ya some other time I gotta get outta here now. I just do. Then he said, “ it's just you being you. You try to like everybody and be fake nice to everybody and you’re accepting of everyone and you’re a pretty good lacrosse player, better than I was last year and you're probably a good student and I see how you are around school all happy all the time, happy to see your friends and they're all smiles and laughing when you’re around, but you don’t see them before you show up. So It’s like when you show up there’s more laughing than before, but YOU don’t know that because that’s your little world and it’s all happy all the time. it’s like you have this perfect little life that’s a year behind me and idk, I know it’s fake and I just wanted to beat the shit out of it yesterday and I did.. I hate that you have a perfect little fake life where you always take the high road and you feel that you’re better than the people that don’t live like you. Well, most kids are miserable assholes who kinda fake it most of the time. I’m a miserable asshole who got sick of faking it. that’s all. Can I go now”.?

I said, “wow, you’re so wrong and warped, but one more quick question. you coming back tomorrow?”
mike-idk, what do you think? ya want me to?
me- sure. why wouldn’t ya? but answer the question, coming back or not?
mike- yeah, i’ll try. i can play lacrosse, but the shit this team wants from me is more than i can do, so i can only try and maybe it wont be what they want.




But yeah my school is like anarchy so i'm jealous. I just can't imagine detention for saying fag cause i hear it like 2 dozen times every day. Its sooo small too like grade 6-12 same building and everyone knows each other, so with a gay label it really is just bleh. That's why i'm unsure about str8 guys sometimes cuz like all of em at best won't talk to me. But i can see on this forum its not always like that.

--As you'll see in the locker room, anything goes. In the rest of the school, ya cant say or do jack. Unwritten rules of locker room apply.

-- Okay, so your school sounds way smaller than mine. Yes, you personally could just blend in and go with the flow. Like there are 2400 kids there. Like ya gotta keep an eye out for your friends between classes and work at sitting in the same spot at lunch or you'd just get lost in the masses. It's weird cuz i know lots of kids, but during the day I see hundreds of kids I don't know. hundreds.

I don't know anyone who is out as gay. Not sure how that would go over. Know some lesbians and bi girls tho. quite a few bi girls actually. yay!

It's messed up that you go to school where kids know ya better and don't talk to ya, where as at a big school, you'll see hundreds of kids you might not see for another week so ya just wouldn't talk to them. It's like going to the mall. Lotta people, but you don't really know them. So it's pretty rude for people not to talk to you because you're gay or labeled gay. Like, how does that effect them? kids are stupid or they can be and if not that they can be mean. Sometimes i think having a common enemy helps them even if there isn't a real enemy. they just label it as an enemy and rally around it. sad. okay, more tomorrow or next day. lot happened today in my little world.

it will be interesting if dinner happens, or if he quits and if he doesn't, what will his chatty time be like with my mom. lol.

Wierd time in my life. This guy is just a tiny part of it. Got GF stuff going on, friend stuff. Ton of homework, projects, GF stuff that's freakin me out a little. Must be drama week or month. Or maybe i just need to shut my cake hole more.

but I'm telling ya, straight guys aren't the enemy. sometimes i wonder if guys that are anti gay are really anti what they feel abt themselves, that they are gay, or feel attracted to a guy and they hate that part of themselves or they don't like gays cuz they are gay but it's their way of hiding from it or their family wont like it, so it's just a part they play so they seem straight. just a theory because there too much hate towards something that in theory shouldn't affect them at all right? I mean seriously, think about it? If you're a guy and you see a gay guy, that's one less guy out for girls. am i right or what? lol have a good day.

Not sure I'm even going to school at this point. my ribs hurt and I'm all wired up. Friends calling me all night, texting me even now and its like middle of the night. I'm convinced no one I know gets enought sleep. haha

[steellord321]

It's messed up that you go to school where kids know ya better and don't talk to ya, where as at a big school, you'll see hundreds of kids you might not see for another week so ya just wouldn't talk to them. It's like going to the mall. Lotta people, but you don't really know them. So it's pretty rude for people not to talk to you because you're gay or labeled gay. Like, how does that effect them? kids are stupid or they can be and if not that they can be mean. Sometimes i think having a common enemy helps them even if there isn't a real enemy. they just label it as an enemy and rally around it. sad. okay, more tomorrow or next day. lot happened today in my little world.

it will be interesting if dinner happens, or if he quits and if he doesn't, what will his chatty time be like with my mom. lol.

Wierd time in my life. This guy is just a tiny part of it. Got GF stuff going on, friend stuff. Ton of homework, projects, GF stuff that's freakin me out a little. Must be drama week or month. Or maybe i just need to shut my cake hole more.

but I'm telling ya, straight guys aren't the enemy. sometimes i wonder if guys that are anti gay are really anti what they feel abt themselves, that they are gay, or feel attracted to a guy and they hate that part of themselves or they don't like gays cuz they are gay but it's their way of hiding from it or their family wont like it, so it's just a part they play so they seem straight. just a theory because there too much hate towards something that in theory shouldn't affect them at all right? I mean seriously, think about it? If you're a guy and you see a gay guy, that's one less guy out for girls. am i right or what? lol have a good day.

Lol i think i'd just stick to PMs at this point if i had enough posts. Yeah, i think that's what hurts the most is it's like one of those "close knit communities" and it really used to be but now it's just bleh...I'd much rather get lost in the crowd at some huge school so thats what i'm gonna do next year. I don't think the ones who are douches could possibly all be gay. It's gotta be religion. There's 4 churches in a town of 700 i mean. Also they all have single parents so it's sorta like they gotta be the "man of the house" and keep guys like me away. They think its contagious or some shit. I dont wanna play solo victim though cuz they treat the few black kids the same way. It's just ghetto as hell.


You really should see a doctor sounds like. There's no shame in it and you'll get better faster. Well shit hit the fan with your team and that story really had me glued to the screen. I mean holy crap that was dramatic. Although I guess u can kinda see, although he may or may not be gay, why many of us are driven away from sports.

I mean i'm glad they defended you, but that's really asking him to change a lot in short order that really had nothing to do with the cheap shots. I dunno about showing up at a party and u all watch porn together or whatever (im guessin) and he has to join in and not be a "shy faggot" i mean yeah i'd just quit the team, which is too bad it came to that. But it's not your fault but nice throwin in the "wrong and warped" LOL.

The answer he gave just seems he's jealous of your life, but instead he comes across as a sick fuck. It doesn't answer why he's miserable etc. It has to be awkward as hell for your coach too lol. I dunno, theres a lot i don't know about team sports but i'm learning a lot from this. So thanks

[drew6]

Lol i think i'd just stick to PMs at this point if i had enough posts. Yeah, i think that's what hurts the most is it's like one of those "close knit communities" and it really used to be but now it's just bleh...I'd much rather get lost in the crowd at some huge school so thats what i'm gonna do next year. I don't think the ones who are douches could possibly all be gay. It's gotta be religion. There's 4 churches in a town of 700 i mean. Also they all have single parents so it's sorta like they gotta be the "man of the house" and keep guys like me away. They think its contagious or some shit. I dont wanna play solo victim though cuz they treat the few black kids the same way. It's just ghetto as hell.


You really should see a doctor sounds like. There's no shame in it and you'll get better faster. Well shit hit the fan with your team and that story really had me glued to the screen. I mean holy crap that was dramatic. Although I guess u can kinda see, although he may or may not be gay, why many of us are driven away from sports.

I mean i'm glad they defended you, but that's really asking him to change a lot in short order that really had nothing to do with the cheap shots. I dunno about showing up at a party and u all watch porn together or whatever (im guessin) and he has to join in and not be a "shy faggot" i mean yeah i'd just quit the team, which is too bad it came to that. But it's not your fault but nice throwin in the "wrong and warped" LOL.

The answer he gave just seems he's jealous of your life, but instead he comes across as a sick fuck. It doesn't answer why he's miserable etc. It has to be awkward as hell for your coach too lol. I dunno, theres a lot i don't know about team sports but i'm learning a lot from this. So thanks

I think it's awesome that you don't bully him. Nobody needs that and it could ruin somebody's life. Especially sense he seems so shy and cautious, it seems like he's trying to not interact with anyone because of reactions. He gets horny, but is that something somebody can ignore? Maybe cut him some slack. I can understand your anger for the hits, but how do you know for sure that they were on purpose(I don't know anything about lacrosse so i don't really know what an illegal hit looks like)? Oh and for him going to dinner, i think that's a great opportunity to see what he's like and also to maybe become his friend so he's not so alone(it was kinda his choice but he probably just feels like no one likes him)? And maybe he's able to talk to your mom because she seems friendly due to her offering him a ride, and usually adults like that aren't really as judgmental like teenagers are.

Lol i think i'd just stick to PMs at this point if i had enough posts.

It’s all right, what I really should do is put it in a blog post, but maybe other kids would find it easier to find here.

Yeah, i think that's what hurts the most is it's like one of those "close knit communities" and it really used to be but now it's just bleh...I'd much rather get lost in the crowd at some huge school so thats what i'm gonna do next year. That’s cool that you can switch. I only know a big school, but I do like it as much as ya can like school. More people, more options. Being part of a team makes school better for me. Just knowing guys are looking out for ya is nice, but even if were a sport like tennis or track or joining a club of some kind I think would help anyone. Otherwise, it’s just classes and homework and neither of those are that great.

I don't think the ones who are douches could possibly all be gay. This made me laugh.

It's gotta be religion. There's 4 churches in a town of 700 i mean. Lotta churches here too, but something that’s emphasized is grace and acceptance, don’t condemn others, etc. Pretty much what Christ did. Too bad more churches don’t focus on how Christ treated people. anyway..700! Wow that’s real small or it seems small cuz it’s smaller than my highschool. My perspective is probably warped. I thought my town wasn’t huge, but now I’m gonna look it up. Wiki says 57,000. It doesn’t seem big, but I guess it is. clueless as usual over here.


Also they all have single parents so it's sorta like they gotta be the "man of the house" and keep guys like me away. They think its contagious or some shit.lol, we’ll have to hope for “some shit” because it’s not contagious. I’m startin to think they are socially retarded...
I dont wanna play solo victim though cuz they treat the few black kids the same way. It's just ghetto as hell. That’s just messed up. So basically if they don’t look like a white jock straight guy they don’t like ya. Idiots. I am a white, jock, straight guy and the guys you’re talking about seem like they’re infected with dumbass. haha. They are just ignorant. Hating on anyone takes a lot of energy. Cmon people at least be lazy about it and just leave people alone and go about your business. You mentioned church, it’s kind of a big thing in who i am and how I treat people. A couple weeks ago the minister was talking about how to treat others and quotes “love your enemy”. So he goes on to say, “ so did Jesus say, get back at your enemy, no. How about we just ignore our enemy? Nope. None of that either. “jesus said, LOVE your enemy. So what he’s saying is treat your enemies like you treat your loved ones. Not how you treat your neighbor, not how you treat your co workers or classmates, but love them. Remember at weddings, love is patient, love is kind etc.. THAT’S how you treat your enemies.” I like my minister and how he speaks. Anyway, if you’re in a holy roller town, like parts of my town is, I’d tell ‘em ya might wanna re-read some of those sections. haha


You really should see a doctor sounds like. There's no shame in it and you'll get better faster. Well shit hit the fan with your team and that story really had me glued to the screen. I mean holy crap that was dramatic. Although I guess u can kinda see, although he may or may not be gay, why many of us are driven away from sports. I think it’s just a bad bruise or a tiny fracture if I believe what a guy who works in an ambulance told me (a team mates dad is one of those guys) If it is, all ya can do it rest it.

I mean i'm glad they defended you, but that's really asking him to change a lot in short order that really had nothing to do with the cheap shots. He said today today that he’s gonna try to change. I dunno about showing up at a party and u all watch porn together Nah, that’s not happin’ at any party I’ve been to. There’s more to it than just this and I’ll write about the team dynamic another time, but short version w/o know how our team operates is this: Thursday, yesterday was my birthday. Mom had my long time friend/best friend? Jason invite the team over after practice today. That’s why the capt shouted at mike to show up to parties you’re invited to. I didn’t know they were coming over. mom pulls in the driveway and a bunch of cars pull in behind us, park out front and it clicks, “birthday party”. I’m think uggh. Couple people knew, day happy b day during the day, good enough, leave me alone. Ended up being pretty good and amazingly, Mike was there for a lot of it. It was as normal as I’ve ever seen mike be actually. Seems like the whole team showed up, other friends, the girl i’m kinda with, all good. We have a pretty big pool that people (including mike) were playin’ volleyball in and hot tub near that.

[You mentioned porn, so I’m going with the theme, nothing sexual really haha]: I was playing pool and ping pong cuz I didn’t want my mom and dad to see my ribs, cuz she’d freak. She comes and gets me and says i wanna show you something. It’s dark out at this point, maybe 8 pm, so not too late. We go over to the family room window, and she points to the hot tub and says what’s going on with that? I say, I don’t know? What? Then I see a pile of swim suits abt 3 feet from the edge and I knew my idiot friends were nude. I’m like mom, it’s all guys, they’re just sitting there talking kinda loud and laughing, ya cant see anything, they’re under the bubbles, there’s like 7 of ‘em in there. They’re just being stupid and we’ve seen it all anyway. They’re fine.

I didn’t want to go out there, primarily because she’s watching, but i did. So I’m like hey guys, whatya want me do with these swim suits? They’re like, “nothing, get in” No thanks. One of them shouts or don’t ya wanna be in your birthday suit on your birthday? we’re doing this for you. I’m like, greatttt. No thanks. Then one of ‘em says, come on it’ll be good for your bruises.
Me- “i don’t think so”. then my mom hears that, comes out and says “what bruises”?
Me - thanks. thanks for that guys.
Mom- let me see honey. me- no mom, i’m fine.
them-we’ll show ya mrs X. two of em grab two suits put em on and get out and lift my shirt up. my mom looks horrified starts asking about it it. The guys can see I really don’t wanna talk about it with her, so I mouth the words help me. the two guys drag me in the hot tub, my hands hit somebody’s junk in the process. I scream “ahhh my hand hit his junk, my hand hit his junk” the other two get in, yank my shorts and boxers off and instead of putting them in the pile, they throw them up on the roof. Take theirs off and do the same. i’m thinking Greatttt. My mom is at a loss for words, but kinda laughing at me. thank god for bubbles and at least they had the good sense to not strip me in front of my mom. She goes inside kinda confused by the whole thing but not mad at all. I thought she’d flash one of her “disappointed” looks our way, but she didn’t. Maybe because she invited them, not me! So no porn watching at parties, but the hot tub was a first, not a ton happened in there. Some times as guys, maybe all guys, maybe just guys on teams, will test each other’s limits. That could be with drinking for some people, doing stupid stuff in like in the hot tub, idk, just pushing each other out of our comfort zone to see how we’d react.

Other junk happened, but I wanna get to your response.


or whatever (im guessin) and he has to join in and not be a "shy faggot" i mean yeah i'd just quit the team, which is too bad it came to that. I won’t defend the faggot word, but I can explain why he did what he did, but the “good of the team” and “team locker room, team first mentality” is huge on our team. The short version is: nobody messes with the team. No opposing team, no non team member “we got your back” and “it will be handled” means something to us. The team had my back. The “handling of it” was harsh and meant to be as harsh as it could without beating him up.

Not sure why he threw faggot in there because Mike was not being part of the team, he speaks very little, thus shy. Faggot was just being mean and using a word that no straight guy wants to be called. I hate, hate-speech. I think people focus on the offensive words rather than what’s being spoken or yelled. I’m actually not a fan of yelling either to get my point across. The madder I am, the softer I speak, the softer I speak, the closer I am to the person. That’s me. TBH, that bothered me. If a guy is gay and ya yell shy faggot at him, you’re an asshole imo. If he’s straight, and you’re yelling that at him, you’re an asshole. So it’s always bad, I’d never use it.
But it's not your fault but nice throwin in the "wrong and warped" LOL. Glad ya liked it. It’s dead on too. I don’t fake my life. I’ll be pleasant when I don’t feel like it, but I believe people should. On that, he was just wrong. Warped? LOL Yup, anybody who sets out to hurt a guy who’s a team mate is pretty warped imo. haha

The answer he gave just seems he's jealous of your life, but instead he comes across as a sick fuck. It doesn't answer why he's miserable etc.
No he never did answer, but I’ll ask him. when I tell ya more about our team, team building thing as well as what went on at the party, you’ll understand it better, but I was asked by the capt to buddy up with mike and help him. kinda don’t wanna, kinda do. No clue what I’m doing. I think he is a sick fuck for doing what he did, but he said he’ll change. He either changes and TRYS to be part of the team, just try, or quits or gets the shit beat out of him. Those were the choices he had.

It has to be awkward as hell for your coach too lol. I dunno, theres a lot i don't know about team sports but i'm learning a lot from this. So thanks Glad to help. Seriously. It was a mystery to me until a few months ago, I heard stuff, but didn’t know the depth and how serious a bunch of jocks take things that can mess up a team. So I’m glad to share. As for the coach, not awk for him at all. He only kinda knows some of what I wrote. I think he has an idea of what goes on, but only kinda. Here’s how most contact sports team work in high school and probably college:

The coach is ...well.. the coach. He teaches the team on how he wants us to play. Dishes out discipline within school guidelines. His office is way in the back of the locker room. Never see him except to pass through once before or after practice. Door is always closed. He’s at the opposite end of the locker room from where the showers and drying off area are. He’s busy, he’s in there working before and after practice.

Captain is elected by the players and we’re told to vote for an even tempered, hard working, lead by example kinda guy. Same for the co captain. Co captain is only slightly less ranking than captain.
Captains handle keeping our play books updated, we each have one to memorize, makes sure we know them, handles team attitude, the locker room, in school issues, out of school issues.

The only guys ever to interrupt the coach in his office. Captains may tell ya the coach wants to see ya, only then should we ever knock on that door. Captain checks in with the coach before every practice to see if anything out of the ordinary needs addressing. Rarely does, it. Captain and co captain meet with coach after every practice to see what needs to be addressed. Could be injuries, who they think would work better in a certain play, discipline issues discussed.

33 guys on our team two captains. Ya got a problem talk to a captain. If he can’t handle it, he’ll talk to the coach. Captains are buffers between the players and coach so he doesn’t get too involved in our day to day crap. He’s the coaches eyes and ears, but only kinda. Shit hits the fan, like with mike, coach knows nothing other than what he saw and the discipline he doled out.

In mikes case: coach saw what he did to me, so did the captains. If you watched those videos, that was me. It’s obvious when someone wailed on. Our sticks leave marks, ya can hear it sometimes, No lacrosse player ever wants to drop. Infact ya don’t drop, ya get dropped. Usually cuz a guy hit you so you can’t breathe (neck or ribs) or a nut shot. Lax players are tough, we don’t ever wanna show weakness. In the case of mike, I wish I could have breathed because my anger would leveled him and I would have. Payback is a bitch. So when you do something to a team mate, and he didn’t drop, you know payback is coming. SO ya don’t EVER do it in the first place.

When coach sent mike on his run AFTER practice, that’s a signal for the captains that there is a problem and the guy needs a talking to before the next practice. Could be by phone, captain might wait for him, or catch him before the next practice. Could be a simple matter of “learn the play you keep messing up, show up on time, work harder, have a better attitude etc.

Something detrimental to the team has happened. If it’s not obvious what happened, captain goes and finds out. While the dude is running, he has time to think of the world of shit coming his way. Coach doesn’t know how the captain will handle it. Doesn’t wanna know. That way, he can just follow the school rules. No more, no less. Coach is covered, thus not awkward.

In mikes case, doing what they did to him was the second worse thing they could have done. The worst thing is the captains decide he needs to leave the team. No one is EVER thrown off the team, they are just lead down a path where they quit. None of it is written down, but if Capt views a guy as a cancer to the team, he sends the player on an errand and tells the team, player needs “some training in ball control, he lacks discipline”. That means the rest of the team feeds the guy the ball as much as possible, players that he would normally pass to won’t be facing him, so they aren’t open, so he needs to hold the ball longer. Any guy on defense goes after him. Starts by body checking, then by beating on his shins if captain give the signal to up the pain, go for the ribs. Again, not as bad as what mike did, because it really is that bad and we don’t wanna send anyone to the hospital with one big injury, but keep beating on him, so he got a lot of bruises. From a coaches and school perspective, it;s rough lacrosse.Just give him 10-15 minutes of it. It hurts. Then continue practice as normal. He should quit after practice because if he shows up it will be 15 min more of it and 15 every day until you quit. No single hit is bad, but ya start getting hit where you have a bruise from the previous day and it really hurts.

So the message to mike the other day was his final warning. Decide if you want to be part of the team or not. Mike knew he’d have to let one of the captains know his intentions before practice and we’ll take him at his word, but keep an eye on him and someone would be assigned to monitor it and help him. Like really help him and if they can’t they’ll find someone who can.

The team standing in their in their towels and helmets was a non verbal message to the whole team and to mike:
- we are united as a team (standing packed together, a mass of muscle)
- ready for battle (helmet)
- we are one (all look the same in towel and helmut)
- yet we are many.
- we are literally are standing behind Drew. We literally have his back and the back of our captains should you resist at all.
- so either do as the captain says, or deal with all of us. Every day. Until you quit.
- who do we care about? Drew, co captain has his arm around me.
- who are we trying to lift up cuz we got “a man down”? DrewDrewDrew

Our team is big on symbolism, body language and how we appear to outsiders.

The locker room code: What happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room. That’s why the coaches door is away shut. When the captain was yelling at mike, I have no clue where most of the guys on track, tennis and baseball were. It was just us as far as I know. I think there might have been a few guys from those teams in there and i’m sure it wasnt an accident. We like to have the rumor that we have each others back, we stick together and we’re a little fucked up.

Coach had no part in that. I know he could hear the captain yelling and them chanting my name, so he knew something was up. What he did know was that “it was handled”

I know what you mean about some guys being driven away or would not wanna be part of a sport because of that stuff, but ya really gotta do something stupid to have that kind of confrontation. It’s rare. It’s the only time I even heard of something like that.

I will say this tho, for the junk that can drive guys away, there’s the flip side of having your back that’s awesome in the other direction and it’s not like the lacrosse team acts all tough lookin to start crap during the day, but it’s well known that if anyone picks on any player, they have to worry about payback from 32 other guys on our team. So imagine YOU on OUR team. You’d be untouchable at school. Those idiots wouldn’t say jack to you.

Even if you’re the smallest freshman who’s effeminate etc. If you’re on the team, we got your back. That’s why mike wailing on me like that was stupid. We’d never let that go without something happening. He knows this. It’s who we are. That’s why no one should ever start crap with a football player or lacrosse player. We’re pretty tight. We don’t all agree on many things, but it’s the old “one for all, all for one”. Mess with one of us, ya mess with all of us. It’s real.

I’m glad ya like what I write. I noticed no one really mentions team stuff like this and forums are great for it because its anonymous. I think what we do is done because it’s tradition or some of the team building stuff that makes us have to care abt each other is what’s interesting. Here’s a couple for you:


We have to run a lot for tryouts and before every practice. The whole team has to run 2.5 miles in a certain amount of time that gets shorter every day. So if the slowest guy doesn’t make it, team gets to do it again and practice runs late So there was a slow guy this year and we make sure he’s hydrated throughout the day. Every player keeps gatorade in his locker and all freshman are required to have some with them for him. If they see him, offer it to him. If he’s close to making the time, faster guys drop back and keep pace with him, change his form so he doesn’t cramp. Two guys are assigned to him on the weekend and runs with him those days. Sometimes more just show up on the weekends just to show him more support.
(this part I wrote saturday morning, so stuff I wrote before this, will make more sense now. At least you opinion on why mike was dealt with harshley.

Unity. Right after tryouts, the team takes an annual trip. We leave Friday after school, come back sunday morning. Usually to a beach in Florida. No lacrosse gear. No play book etc. It’s the start of a one year commitment to the team. Team needs first, your needs second. We fill out pages of multiple choice questions that ask us our strengths and weaknesses, things we do struggle with, things we think we might struggle with. Guys with strengths are assigned to guys that need help. Total honesty is required, not optional. Private things are made public to the team but private to outside the team. It’s all about helping each other. Doing anything against a team mate is an attack on the team. You get thrown off for that. Making a guy feel bad about needing help isn’t tolerated.

On days we have a game, we should wear nice pants, shoes, shirt and tie. Show some pride. It’s gotta be pretty nice stuff. You from a family that’s well off? provide what another guy needs.

You WILL have good to very good lacrosse gear. If you can’t afford it, it will be provided. (and it is). Everybody gets a team jacket, you can buy it or it will be given to you. That’s just the money aspect.

Unity is The idea is to trust your teammates with things you struggle with whether it’s school, money, personal issue, health, family, sobriety, (or you think the kid who drove you did, call a team mate), summer job .. anything you can think of. Anything. Be completely open or as open as you can be. If you can’t speak about it in front of the whole team, then talk to the guys who play the same position as you when they get together for a few min every Friday after practice. If ya can’t do that tell the captain or co-captain privately and it will be handled. They find someone on the team to help you. If lacrosse season is over, check website for when guys are getting together.

Unity: Watch out for each other. If you think you see a guy who’s got an issue, ask him. If you think he’s wrong, tell the captain or co-captain. (I thought my ribs were good enough, a team mate thought they weren’t. He told the captain, captain called the dad who works for the ambulance company and the ambulance showed up at practice on Thurday. I didn’t ask for that and really didn’t think I needed it, but someone was concerned so “it was handled”. - So on our team when we say “we got your back” ya don’t even need to ask, the team is looking out for you even if you’re not looking out for yourself well enough, which I was guilty of. And gently reminded of.

Unity, School and grades: We get to know each other and offer up our strengths and weaknesses and things that might get in the way of having a good season. Some kids need a ride home from games, or from practice certain days (Hello? Mike) or to a morning practice etc. Ask a teammate or use the team’s private website. Kids good in math, are assigned to kids that aren’t. That’s done for every class. Buddy system. Who is good with computers and figuring out how to make ‘em work if someone’s is crap. Who needs a computer, someone got an old one? We got a guy who can fix up old ones. Think a team mate’s computer isn’t cutting it? Need software? Someone has it. Is eating right a problem? If it is, who’s well off or who’s family can help out if some kids family is kinda messed up. Can’t afford the gear? We’ll do a fund raiser or take it from the team acct or both. I just gave the captain half my birthday money for example for the team acct.

If you see a teammate who is struggling, then you are stuggling. Seek perfection. In grades, how you look, how you feel, how you play, how you behave (don’t be a jackass or a bully because you represent a team, not yourelf).
Look for perfection in your teammates if you don’t see it, fix it. Don’t think you can fix it? Tell someone and “it will be handled” is always the answer. Practically a motto on our team.

For example, at that unity weekend, we were told the team will take all our measurements for clothes so we can order gear for kids that need and team jackets and other stuff.

Then they asked this black kid, (you mentioned race, our team and school have no probs with race) who is a senior (alex) if he wouldn’t mind telling the team what happened last Spring when he was a Junior. He said “Last Spring he really wanted to go to the Junior prom, but my mom is a single mom with 3 kids and we couldn’t even afford the ticket, so a few weeks before, I sucked it up and asked the captain if someone could help him out and I knew he would cuz the team takes care of each other and looks out for each other. Never did I feel embarrassed. All the captain said was, “it will be handled, don’t do a thing, we got this”.

He said, “I was a little nervous because Prom was Saturday and Friday during school I thought someone would have given me the tickets and a suit to borrow. So I asked the captain and he said, don’t worry about it, so I didn’t. The morning of the prom, 3 teammates showed up at my house, real early, rang the bell, my mom answers the door, she invites them in. They bring in: a tux, shirt, shoes, socks and underwear. A gift bag that has condoms, axe deodorant, axe cologne, a corsage that matched my date’s dress (she was in on it) and told my mom a limo with a group of kids will pick me up and then my date and drop us off later. THEN, this is the best part, they give my mom a small gift bag that’s for her and in it was movie passes for her and my sisters and a $100 mall gift card that can be used at any restaurant in the mall so they could have dinner and a movie that night too. My moms fell out cryin’, between that and the door bell ringing it woke me up. I see all the stuff they brought over and my mom is saying how special this team is and they really do have my back and then some. When they say “they’ll handle it” they go all out. The prom was great and all, but what this team is, what it does, is truly great. We don’t always get along, but they have your back and it’s contagious”.

“I heard about this team in middle school and thought I wanna be part of that. At the first unity weekend I heard a story like this and thought we don’t have money, but I can be study buddy, so I worked really hard, pushed myself as hard as I could. Used the study buddies to get help. Worked harder. This, being part of something, changed my life. For years now, I’ve been a study buddy, take calls at all hours, get invited to parties, sometimes I’m the designated driver of one of their cars, I’m included in everything all year round. I never would have worked so hard in school if I wasn’t doing it for my teammates because they gave so much to me. Because of that, I’ve got the HOPE scholarship that will pay 90% of my tuition and fees at any college in Georgia. THAT’S awesome and it’s because by putting the team above yourself, ya got 32 guys looking out for you. Sometime ya don’t even have to ask, they just do it. You’ll hear guys say, “what’s the awesome? That means a few of them are working with one of the captains on something one of needs and they’re just gonna go overboard. My mom make me tell the family about all you’ve done for me and better yet, what you do for each other. She’s heard it all before and she cries every time and says it’s because she’s never heard of anything like it. She asks me “what’s the awesome” cuz she’s always hoping she can cook or better yet bake.”

This particular team really is about team first, but you got 32 other guys looking out for you all year long. So you can see why the captain came down so hard on Mike. This team is about how good we can be in life while we’re on the team and on the field by supporting each other and looking out for each other. Mike knows this about the team. It’s not a secret. Unity weekend is an every year reminder for guys who have been there before and it’s unity year round. It’s an intro to how the team is for newbies. As a team, we don’t know what to do with mike, but even that is being handled.

Mike shows up in the locker room Thrusday, and I say “what up”. he says “ahhh nothing, gonna really try to... be better. I say cool and think well, it’s not a one word answer. So I test it and ask him, what’s really going on, like what’s your concern right now? He says, “well, I’m a little nervous because of yesterday and like how will these guys know I’m trying to be part of this team for real and not beat the shit out of me today”? I told him, go find one of the captains and tell them what ya told me and ask what you need to do. He does. Comes back and tells me that the capt wants Mike to talk to the team before practice. We’re almost finished getting dressed. Capt says “Mike has something to say to the team, so listen up. Mike, get out here”. Capt has a chair for mike to stand on. Mike doesn’t look that nervous, but not comfortable either. mike says, “ I’ll start with I’m sorry for slashing drew. I was pissed off at him and at life I guess and I took it out on him. I’m gonna really try to be more social, but I’m not even sure how to, to be honest. I’m probably gonna need some help. Actually I know I’m gonna need some help, but I don’t even know what to ask for. I’ve just been pissed off for months, I don’t have anything nice to say to anybody, so that’s why I don’t say anything to anyone. I don’t know how to fix that, other than not saying much. That’s all I got.

Practice went on as normal. As my mom is pulling into the driveway, other cars are pulling in too and I’m thinking oh crap, birthday party. today I turned 16, no big deal or at least I don’t want it to be a big deal Got a few happy bdays during the day, gift from the girl i’m kinda seeing. That’s more than enough. My mom arranged with my buddy jase (jason) to tell the team they’re invited over for dinner and swimming if they feel like coming over. If they don’t want to swim we have a pool table and ping pong table. It was actually pretty good. kinda wierd having guys all over my house. It’s kinda weird when, now I know, they all know, how I live. Just because my parents are pretty well off, I don’t want people to assume I have a perfect life because of it.

Jase tells me that the reason the captain was yelling at mike, “if ya get invited to a party... ya show up and act like you’re having a good time”, was because of this party. I’m sure other future parties too, but this was the next party. The co captain pulled me aside and asked me what I thought about trying to help mike or buddy up with him or something and get to know him and figure out what he needs so we can help him. I said, uggh isn’t there someone else? He’s junior, i’m not. I don’t know what to do for him, I’m not in any of his classes etc. Capt said, well you don’t know him, but you know him better than anyone else right now. I said okay, I’ll try, but he has to try. What happened to him? he was on the team last two years, he wasn’t always like this? what happened? Capt said, idk, he was fine those years, great guy, shows up this year after being gone all summer and just said he was focused on school. made the team and has been quiet ever since. idk ask him. I said okay.

So I guess when we give mike a ride home on Friday (today) I’ll see if he feels like coming over after school for a while, maybe have jase swing by too.

all I have left is my fri night dinner with mike. Sorry so long, but give ya an idea of team dynamic. I'm a dope. thought I put this up saturday. Just noticed no replys and that's cus It wasn't here yet. Hope you're well. Just a little bit to go, and then we'll put an end to this thread.

[steellord321]

Well, happy 16! Hopefully ya get the freedom to drive soon too

That’s cool that you can switch. I only know a big school, but I do like it as much as ya can like school. More people, more options. Being part of a team makes school better for me. Just knowing guys are looking out for ya is nice, but even if were a sport like tennis or track or joining a club of some kind I think would help anyone. Otherwise, it’s just classes and homework and neither of those are that great.

Yeah that's spot on. I've missed like 25-30 days this year already. Just no point going cuz i sure don't learn nothing either. There's like football basketball baseball and that's IT for guys. There's not even a band some years rofl. But yeah my county has a "school of choice" if good enough grades and theres a couple mid sized schools. If i'm not "that gay kid" then that's fine with me, I'll take it.

Lotta churches here too, but something that’s emphasized is grace and acceptance, don’t condemn others, etc. Pretty much what Christ did. Too bad more churches don’t focus on how Christ treated people. anyway..700! Wow that’s real small or it seems small cuz it’s smaller than my highschool.

I got into this on another thread here. I'm aware theres churches that aren't so judgmental, but not here. Yeah so let me explain. There's about 400 in the town, its not even a square mile. Then in the farm areas is the rest. Like our house is between 2 corn fields literally. 56k internet. So that makes me even more isolated. Well across 1 corn field is a lutheran church i was dragged to as a kid. Let's just say i did not sense any love there. Finally last year worked up the courage to refuse to go anymore.

So basically if they don’t look like a white jock straight guy they don’t like ya. Idiots. I am a white, jock, straight guy and the guys you’re talking about seem like they’re infected with dumbass. haha. They are just ignorant. Hating on anyone takes a lot of energy. Cmon people at least be lazy about it and just leave people alone and go about your business. You mentioned church, it’s kind of a big thing in who i am and how I treat people. I like my minister and how he speaks. Anyway, if you’re in a holy roller town, like parts of my town is, I’d tell ‘em ya might wanna re-read some of those sections. haha

They get it from the moms/her current boyfriend who are total racist/homophobes. Like they will tell the kid "you should get that black girl suspended" so the kid will walk up to her at lunch and be all "KKK your gonna die." Then she beats the shit out of him (this really happened). Like i used to hang out at their houses and heard that shit all the time. It's not just the jocks but the geeks do it too, anyone not super shy and bullied already like me basically. Uhhh, the church thing i'm pretty dam sure it won't work to reason with them. It sounds like a great way to get killed frankly.

He said today today that he’s gonna try to change. I dunno about showing up at a party and u all watch porn together Nah, that’s not happin’ at any party I’ve been to.

Oh. Well i dunno, i was just thinkin that's sorta how others caught on is i took no interest in girls or my friend's marathon porn sessions. I dunno if a sports team would do that.

I won’t defend the faggot word, but I can explain why he did what he did, but the “good of the team” and “team locker room, team first mentality” is huge on our team. The short version is: nobody messes with the team. No opposing team, no non team member “we got your back” and “it will be handled” means something to us. The team had my back. The “handling of it” was harsh and meant to be as harsh as it could without beating him up.

Not sure why he threw faggot in there because Mike was not being part of the team, he speaks very little, thus shy. Faggot was just being mean and using a word that no straight guy wants to be called. I hate, hate-speech. I think people focus on the offensive words rather than what’s being spoken or yelled. I’m actually not a fan of yelling either to get my point across. The madder I am, the softer I speak, the softer I speak, the closer I am to the person. That’s me. TBH, that bothered me. If a guy is gay and ya yell shy faggot at him, you’re an asshole imo. If he’s straight, and you’re yelling that at him, you’re an asshole. So it’s always bad, I’d never use it.

I was thinkin about this and i guess after what mike did, i wouldn't quit the team over it cause what mike did was more harmful. It was said in a fit of rage but still, makes me wonder if mike did come out he'd ever be accepted or will he end up beaten on the practice field.

Coach had no part in that. I know he could hear the captain yelling and them chanting my name, so he knew something was up. What he did know was that “it was handled”

What i meant by awkward though is the whole team morale seems down the shitter and he can't take sides or do anything.

I know what you mean about some guys being driven away or would not wanna be part of a sport because of that stuff, but ya really gotta do something stupid to have that kind of confrontation. It’s rare. It’s the only time I even heard of something like that.

Yeah and i'm not defending it. Personally if i was in that situation where i'm a starter and all, I'd either come out and let them make the decision (since u mention Honesty, nothing private) or just quit. I would never resort to attacks like he did.

I will say this tho, for the junk that can drive guys away, there’s the flip side of having your back that’s awesome in the other direction and it’s not like the lacrosse team acts all tough lookin to start crap during the day, but it’s well known that if anyone picks on any player, they have to worry about payback from 32 other guys on our team. So imagine YOU on OUR team. You’d be untouchable at school. Those idiots wouldn’t say jack to you.

Even if you’re the smallest freshman who’s effeminate etc. If you’re on the team, we got your back. That’s why mike wailing on me like that was stupid. We’d never let that go without something happening. He knows this. It’s who we are. That’s why no one should ever start crap with a football player or lacrosse player. We’re pretty tight. We don’t all agree on many things, but it’s the old “one for all, all for one”. Mess with one of us, ya mess with all of us. It’s real.

I can see now why having such a mope around is hard to tolerate. You guys sound incredibly close. Like, that was really touching to help that guy out with prom and i guess it's hard to see mike taking part in that. I don't know that he's intentional about it though but we've been over that.

Mike shows up in the locker room Thrusday, and I say “what up”. he says “ahhh nothing, gonna really try to... be better. I say cool and think well, it’s not a one word answer. So I test it and ask him, what’s really going on, like what’s your concern right now? He says, “well, I’m a little nervous because of yesterday and like how will these guys know I’m trying to be part of this team for real and not beat the shit out of me today”? I told him, go find one of the captains and tell them what ya told me and ask what you need to do. He does. Comes back and tells me that the capt wants Mike to talk to the team before practice. We’re almost finished getting dressed. Capt says “Mike has something to say to the team, so listen up. Mike, get out here”. Capt has a chair for mike to stand on. Mike doesn’t look that nervous, but not comfortable either. mike says, “ I’ll start with I’m sorry for slashing drew. I was pissed off at him and at life I guess and I took it out on him. I’m gonna really try to be more social, but I’m not even sure how to, to be honest. I’m probably gonna need some help. Actually I know I’m gonna need some help, but I don’t even know what to ask for. I’ve just been pissed off for months, I don’t have anything nice to say to anybody, so that’s why I don’t say anything to anyone. I don’t know how to fix that, other than not saying much. That’s all I got.

Wow i'm amazed he was able to do that and he can't even speak 1 sentence about the yankees lol. What i've noticed is that if u rarely speak, it makes it harder cuz it seems like everyone is *really* listening when u do speak up. I mean it also sounds like he's depressed, but then how could he play lacrosse? I dunno maybe u guys should bring a therapist to practice lol.

The co captain pulled me aside and asked me what I thought about trying to help mike or buddy up with him or something and get to know him and figure out what he needs so we can help him. I said, uggh isn’t there someone else? He’s junior, i’m not. I don’t know what to do for him, I’m not in any of his classes etc. Capt said, well you don’t know him, but you know him better than anyone else right now. I said okay, I’ll try, but he has to try. What happened to him? he was on the team last two years, he wasn’t always like this? what happened? Capt said, idk, he was fine those years, great guy, shows up this year after being gone all summer and just said he was focused on school. made the team and has been quiet ever since. idk ask him. I said okay.

i dunno if this already happened, sorry the timeline is confusing, but I'd be interested in how this turns out. And don't worry about too long. This is like, the the most interraction i get all week, other than my brother's friends when they visit. They don't seem to be onto me yet thankfully.

[drew6]

Well, happy 16! Hopefully ya get the freedom to drive soon too



Yeah that's spot on. I've missed like 25-30 days this year already. Just no point going cuz i sure don't learn nothing either. There's like football basketball baseball and that's IT for guys. There's not even a band some years rofl. But yeah my county has a "school of choice" if good enough grades and theres a couple mid sized schools. If i'm not "that gay kid" then that's fine with me, I'll take it.



I got into this on another thread here. I'm aware theres churches that aren't so judgmental, but not here. Yeah so let me explain. There's about 400 in the town, its not even a square mile. Then in the farm areas is the rest. Like our house is between 2 corn fields literally. 56k internet. So that makes me even more isolated. Well across 1 corn field is a lutheran church i was dragged to as a kid. Let's just say i did not sense any love there. Finally last year worked up the courage to refuse to go anymore.



They get it from the moms/her current boyfriend who are total racist/homophobes. Like they will tell the kid "you should get that black girl suspended" so the kid will walk up to her at lunch and be all "KKK your gonna die." Then she beats the shit out of him (this really happened). Like i used to hang out at their houses and heard that shit all the time. It's not just the jocks but the geeks do it too, anyone not super shy and bullied already like me basically. Uhhh, the church thing i'm pretty dam sure it won't work to reason with them. It sounds like a great way to get killed frankly.



Oh. Well i dunno, i was just thinkin that's sorta how others caught on is i took no interest in girls or my friend's marathon porn sessions. I dunno if a sports team would do that.



I was thinkin about this and i guess after what mike did, i wouldn't quit the team over it cause what mike did was more harmful. It was said in a fit of rage but still, makes me wonder if mike did come out he'd ever be accepted or will he end up beaten on the practice field.



What i meant by awkward though is the whole team morale seems down the shitter and he can't take sides or do anything.



Yeah and i'm not defending it. Personally if i was in that situation where i'm a starter and all, I'd either come out and let them make the decision (since u mention Honesty, nothing private) or just quit. I would never resort to attacks like he did.



I can see now why having such a mope around is hard to tolerate. You guys sound incredibly close. Like, that was really touching to help that guy out with prom and i guess it's hard to see mike taking part in that. I don't know that he's intentional about it though but we've been over that.



Wow i'm amazed he was able to do that and he can't even speak 1 sentence about the yankees lol. What i've noticed is that if u rarely speak, it makes it harder cuz it seems like everyone is *really* listening when u do speak up. I mean it also sounds like he's depressed, but then how could he play lacrosse? I dunno maybe u guys should bring a therapist to practice lol.



i dunno if this already happened, sorry the timeline is confusing, but I'd be interested in how this turns out. And don't worry about too long. This is like, the the most interraction i get all week, other than my brother's friends when they visit. They don't seem to be onto me yet thankfully.

Last Friday we had Mike over for dinner. It was ok and kinda awkward. He was normal during dinner with my mom and dad and after dinner I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he didn’t care, so I said we could go in the hot tub, play some 8 ball or just go hang out for a while until we decide or until Jase comes over to shoot some pool and maybe some hot tub. So he said he’d rather just relax for a while because he was tired from practice. We go up to my room and I asked how it’s been going, what’s been going on with him. He said it’s pretty much what he just told me and my parents. So I told him, “that’s great an all for my parents, but I mean about you changing, like I was impressed you showed up to my birthday party and stayed for a while, swam etc. Like, what got ya down to the point of being pissed off at me enough to wail on me that day? If I knew that, I could probably or maybe help you”
[I’m doing this from memory, so it’s not word for word, but it’s accurate]

He said, “Well, I didn’t really want to come to your party, but I pretty much didn’t have a choice. Like I would have rather not gone to it, but ended up having a pretty good time. So that wasn’t a big deal because it was mostly the team and some people that I guess you know from other places. I already told you that I pissed off at you for being fake nice to everyone and your perfect little life... which is actually pretty nice ya gotta admit...

Me, “It’s okay, it’s not a lot different from most of the people around here, so I wouldn’t call it perfect. Like... my parents pretty much expect me to be perfect in school, never swear, never drink, just basically be way more awesome than any kid could be. As for being fake nice? I say this, to my friends, I’m 100 percent real, maybe too much sometimes. With kids that I just kinda know or see around, know who they are and would probably be friends with, I’ll ALWAYS be nice to them, even if I’m having the worst day, just because. Because that’s what people should do. If I’m pissed off about .. like my ribs or some other lacrosse crap... I’m not gonna be all pissed off and angry at everyone I talk to until it gets better because I don’t want my rep to be that I’m an angry jerk all the time. This is supposed to be about you, so why so mad at me? You know I’ve kinda shielded you at times with what ya got going on in the locker room.. like I’m the one guy that coulda made your life worse and I didn’t, but you beat the crap outta me anyway, WHICH I am pretty pissed off abt btw.

He said,, “well... I am sorry abt that btw. I know I said I wasn’t, but that was a lie and I don’t know why I said that. Just to piss you guys off i guess. It’s stupid. I was stupid and i’m sorry. Like really sorry. I’m not gay btw way, I don’t know why I start getting hard in there. That’ part of why I’m pissied off in general cuz I don’t want people thinking i’m gay and you’ve seen it and said nothing which is cool, but I’m still pissed off I’m not normal like the rest of you guys. So that’s part of it. The other part is, unless you said something to someone, you’re like the only guy that’s seen get as big as it gets. It’s so embarrassing and I know if I stayed in the showers longer it would just be worse and seriously, like any guy would hide it if it starts happening in the locker room. I partly beat on ya because of that, because i want the team to think i’m a bad ass like most of us are, not some gay guy who gets a semi in locker room who’s weakass gay. So I didn’t want you to say shit about it. Plus, as much as you say you don’t have a perfect life, it sure looks like it to me because you got a bunch of friends, I always hear about stuff you do or are gonna do with Jase or your gf. I mean, I know it’s not perfect, but it sure looks pretty good. So I was kinda beating on the shit you represent to me: Good guy, good grades, perfect life without any problems and every day you see me race to get dressed so I’m not bonin’ out in the locker room like a gay kid. SO that’s that.

Me, “I didn’t say you were gay btw and I didn’t tell anyone. Well, except for Jase cuz we pretty much tell each other everything. And other guys (on the team) have noticed and asked me if i thought you were gay and I told them I didn’t think so and thought it’s just one of those times you get hard, like, i am hard everyday on the bus at the same point in the route. Luckily it goes away before we get to school. I don’t know what’s up with that cuz i pretty much jack it everyday before school haha. So that’s just part of being a guy. Like, Jase... he has times like that too. I won’t tell ya when, we figure our bodies are on some kind of effed up schedule. Like in math for example, every day at some point, it’s just doing it’s thing. You and locker room? That’s a freakin’ nightmare imo. I give ya credit and that’s why I don’t say jack about it and know you wait for me to be there so it’s less noticable. I know it sucks, but just lower the temp of the water in the showers to as cold as you can stand it. It’s pretty much a boner killer. haha. ... Other than that, I don’t know what to tell ya to do, I mean, if you’re turned on by the guys in the locker room, ya just are and I don’t know what ya do then haha.

mike, “great, so you told Jase”
me, “he doens’t care, we’re friends, I know everything that goes on with him AND he’s on the team, so...”
mike, “so guys noticed tho?
me, “ well, yeah. you rush out every day. the rest of us are just hanging out talking and you’re in and out as fast as possible. After a few days, people notice you’re in a hurry, plus you’re always at least a little hard. It’s not like that’s normal, cuz everyone else isn’t doing that. It’s not that big a deal, the semi i mean. Leaving as fast as you can, not talking to your team mates, is a very big deal. That’s what you should worry about and change - how you treat your team mates and other kids at school THATs a real problem.
mike, “I leave cuz i know I’m gonna get hard and if I’m gonna get hard, I’m not hanging out for it to get to be a full blown hard on. I’m just not”
me,” at least the cold water thing, but even after you’re dressed you don’t hang out, and it’s even more messed up now because apparently on Tues and Fridays you had to wait around for a ride.
mike, “I tried cold shower and i swear to god it made it worse. haha. So like guys are lookin at me, like you, you’ve seen it.
me, “yup. yeah, every day man”
mike, “ shit. so like a few days ago it was full on before you got back from the showers, you saw that?”
me, “yup,”
mike, “man that sucks that you saw it full tilt”
Me, “I didn’t know it was full tilt, you didn’t say that until just now and it wasn’t like pointed straight up ya know, so I figured you weren’t completely hard”
mike, “you’re a moron, not everybodys points up when they bone. some people’s point more out.”
me, “well, whatever, yours is bigger than mine and a couple other guys i’ve seen. so . whatever”
mike, “haha, always find the good in a situation. you didn’t tell anyone how big it is did you?”
me, “no cuz like who cares. what am gonna do go and do a dick report or some shit? Just be happy with what ya got and i guess that it works so well. lol”
mike, “ like how much bigger is it than yours or Jase’s?
me, “ what? like none of yur bizness”
mike, “that hardly fair”
me, “well... one don’t get hard in the locker room and then I wouldn’t know. two, you’re never gonna see mine and nice try on asking me about jase. I’ll tell him you asked”
mike, “ah shit, don’t tell him. you’re really not that nice..”
me, “mike, I’m just giving ya shit, I’m not gonna tell him that! and enough with the dick talk already... shit.”
mike, “ oh, cool.”.

Me, “so the captain asked me to help you, that’s why we’re having this convo btw. So what can i do or the team do to help you. I don’t mean to blind side ya, maybe ya gotta think about it, but clearly you aren’t or weren’t happy. so what can i or we do? Like the captain is gonna eventually ask me what’s going on and what we’re gonna do about it.
Mike, “ Idk... i showed up to your party... I came hear for dinner... we’re talking now so... that’s something. That helped some. i guess just keep showing up to stuff that I’m invited to and not be so quiet. Idk what to do abt rushing through my shower tho, I guess I could hang out after I get dressed. “
me, “there ya go, that’s something. He probably won’t even ask if he sees ya doing that stuff. What else? Grades good? Girl friend? Is home okay? Money good? etc?
Mike, “grades are fine, all i do is study. It’s not like i have any friends to do anything with, so after school, I just do my work. Along those lines, no friends, so no girl friend. Money isn’t a problem. I’m used to being alone and even though i choose that, I get pretty lonely and that’s pretty depressing, so coming hear for dinner on a friday is different in a good way. Like maybe I could hang with you and jase?
Me, “yeah, sure if ya want. idk abt every friday cuz we hang with kids a year younger than you. but yeah if ya want to, sure”
Mike, “Oh, well actually I was just asking about tonight, but if once in a while in the future would be cool if it’s not asking too much”.
Me, “lol, nah it’s not and you’ll like jase. he’s more fun than i am anyway. more crazy anyway. I’m pretty straight laced. Jase? not so much.
mike, “ how so?”
me, “idk, it’s like he’s always testing my limits or HIS limits to see what we can get away with and I’m more of a guy that doesn’t do stupid shit that I can get in trouble for unless it’s worth it. If you stay here tonight, you’ll see. Jace can’t help himself. he really cant. Like, the last thing in the world that guy needs is mountain dew or a red bull. Sometimes he shows up with it and I just think, “oh shit, it is on for jase”. It’s not like he want’s to do all kinds of illegal shit, it’s just stupid shit, you’ll see.
Mike, “ you mean like stay here tonight? Nah I can’t tonight. I haven’t even been home yet. Like, Jace will stay here tonight? Like, Every Friday you guys do this? That’s fucked up! Like where does he sleep? Does he sleep with you? Like, what do you guys do? Get drunk and mess around?”
me, “dude! calm down! Not every friday, some times i go to his place and yeah, we stay over at whoever’s house we’re at so we can stay up really late and our parents know where we are. Yes, to Jace sleeping with me, but look at it, it’s a queen size bed, so there’s more than enough room. Get drunk? no. Sometimes Jace will score some beers or Absolute and get drunk, but that doesn’t happen too often. Usually, if it’s warm enough, we’ll eventually hit the hot tub. In the summer, the pool. Sometimes neither. I depends on if anyone else shows up. Like if my gf shows up for while, we gotta be on the main floor or outside because my parents think that we’ll just start going at it like dogs or something, haha, but if she shows up with a couple of people, then they are fine. It just depends on who’s around and what the weather is doing. Like if its raining or winter we do indoor stuff like shoot some pool, ping pong. If the weather is okay, then shoot some hoops, pool and maybe the hot tub. Jase is too into the hot tub imo, but if he’s dyin for it, i’ll do it. Like in the summer, i don’t wanna go into a hot tub, but jase does. IF there are a few girls and guys, we might get a truth or dare going, that’s when jase gets his craziest ideas and his dares are over the top sometimes. tbh, if its just him and me, what we do is probably seems boring to you like just talking until all hours of the night, and i know it sounds boring, but jase and i are pretty tight or comfortable with each other, so even if we’re doing something like watching a movie by ourselves, it’s better or funnier than watching alone. idk if I that makes sense, but we’d rather do something that’s kind of nothing together than do nothing by ourselves. If ya don’t wanna stay, ya don’t have to, I just thought I’d offer”.
Mike, “so you’re offering cuz you feel you have to? Or because you want me to? Or what? Plus, your parents arent gonna take me home once it’s too late and I know my parents won’t wanna come get me after, like, ten.”
Me, “Right there, that’s kinda effed up. Why analyze it? I didn’t. I figure you’re here, jase is gonna show up soon, like, i’m surprised he’s not here yet actually and i thought you might be up for something. If it was anyone else I knew, I’d make the same offer. It’s not like some pity invite, you’re here already, so why not? It’s not like there is some big plan. If i didn’t wanna invite ya I wouldn’t have. I woulda said, well I got some people coming over or jase is gonna come over so we should give my mom a heads up that you’ll need a ride soon, but i didn’t say that did I? Dude, you just gotta chill and go with the flow. It is what it is. I’m not saying it’s gonna be some epic night. It’s just what we do on a Friday, if other kids stop by, then they do. Sometimes they stay, sometimes they don’t. it’s not a big deal. Like.... literally... do what YOU want to do. maybe you need some down time and had enough social stuff for today. You seem kindaaaaaaa okay, so i figured I’d offer. Personally, I think the more you get used to hanging out with people again, the better. idk. it’s just me guessin’, but I totally get that you haven’t been home yet, so it’s not a big deal at all either way. If ya want, go home and come back if ya can drive or go home and come to the next one. Seriously,it’s two things. It’s just an offer I’d make to whoever is around and the other thing is I’ve been tasked to help you, but it’s more of the first one. We already talked, that’s helping you, so i did that. yes? So this is just the next thing I’m gonna do with my night that’s all.
mike, “so if i stay the next time, where would i sleep?”
me. “ kinda where ever but in my room. like, the minimum would be you me and jase. If we were talkin and you and jase were on the bed and fell asleep, I’d fall asleep on the floor or some combination. i try to give my guest the bed first. if during the night i can’t sleep because the floor or chair gets too uncomfortable, I’ll go to the most open part of the bed and we’d sleep that way. If it’s too crowded for someone, then they can get out of bed. There’s enough room though. we’ve even had 4 guys, so not a big deal. Granted, the more people here, the later we stay up. sometimes we don’t go to bed at all. it just depends.

Mike ended up going home and that’s fine. I thought the whole thing was just okay. Waaay more dick talk than i ever wanna have, but maybe that whole locker room situation is like really on his mind. I guess if it were me, I’d be freaked by it too. It’s like he was too excited or too many questions abt jase staying over night. It’s just not that big a deal imo. idk, i think that Mike is so disconnected from other people near his age that he doesn’t really get what 16 yo guys do anymore. (he’s a year older than me and jason)

mike was more normal this past week. he’s trying though. I could tell he didn’t groove that much on Jase tho at first, but jase is all about pushing people’s buttons or just trying to get a reaction out of them by being wierd and turning any convo or anything into something maybe sexual. like before mike left, jase starts wrestling with me as he’s known to do and if he can, he’ll start grinding on me or do something until i’m hard and then announce that i’m hard. sadly, he’ll do this in front of just about anyone, because it’s more embarassing for me. If there is someone around we don’t know that well (like mike), i hate it more becaise it’s embarassing and will curl up into a ball or try to hit him in the balls hard enough to get him away from me, but not hard enough to really hurt him. Well, with my ribs hurt, i got no defense and of course jase started that crap for like a minute when mike was still there. god knows what mike thinks of that. Jase takes some liberties with my weakened body. THAT kids a goof. Good friend, but a goof.

-drew

[Meh Guy]

I think it's natural to get hard in the locker room because of all of the things you see....str8 or gay

[drew6]

Well, happy 16! Hopefully ya get the freedom to drive soon too

I was thinkin about this and i guess after what mike did, i wouldn't quit the team over it cause what mike did was more harmful. It was said in a fit of rage but still, makes me wonder if mike did come out he'd ever be accepted or will he end up beaten on the practice field.

I can see now why having such a mope around is hard to tolerate. You guys sound incredibly close. Like, that was really touching to help that guy out with prom and i guess it's hard to see mike taking part in that. I don't know that he's intentional about it though but we've been over that.

What i've noticed is that if u rarely speak, it makes it harder cuz it seems like everyone is *really* listening when u do speak up. I mean it also sounds like he's depressed, but then how could he play lacrosse? I dunno maybe u guys should bring a therapist to practice lol.

i dunno if this already happened, sorry the timeline is confusing, but I'd be interested in how this turns out. And don't worry about too long. This is like, the the most interraction i get all week, other than my brother's friends when they visit. They don't seem to be onto me yet thankfully.


I was going back reading your last response and I'm glad your brother's friends aren't "onto you yet". From what you've said, your school or that area is intimidating and given there are churches everywhere, to me, that's even more messed up! In America, I don't know if churches or churches that claim to base their ideas on Christ, do more harm than good. To me, hate and church don't go together. Ever.

Sorry about the timeline being confusing. If I thought I'd have been discussing as much stuff about the team, I would have talked about the whole Unity, having each other's backs and "It'll be handled" aspect at the beginning. But, it just kinda morphed into the team thing. Actually, I think you're pretty sharp for following it, because I re-read some of it and the grammar is pretty sick and some of the cut and pastes redundant - so kudos on following that mess. haha.

You mentioned that it seems harder to speak up because you sense people are REALLY listening when you do speak. - I won't lie to ya. It's true. Like with mike, he doesn't say much, so when he does, I'm really paying attention. IDK, intently is how I'd say I'm listening.

You mentioned that the team is a pretty tight group and that totally true. It's not like a club or a gang.... it's a commitment that ya sign up for, literally sign your name at the unity weekend to a bunch of promises and goals and part of that is learning to trust the team and team mates whether you like them or not and vice versa. Along those lines...

you mentioned or asked what would happen if there was a gay kid on the team. Honestly... seriously as honestly as I know of myself and my team and because there is now an "out" NBA player, we talked about it and it would be completely fine. Someone brought it up at one of our Friday after practice mini meeting and no one cared. AT ALL. They really didn't. If some guy is a good team mate, both on the field and off - we don't care and would have his back. Like I literally asked, "so as a team, we, as a group would completely and totally have his back"? YUP was the answer.

A player like Mike who was being a bad, un-involved teammate who is a very good lacrosse player would be and was far worse than any guy, (gay or not) who barely made the team, so only okay lacrosse skills, but believed in helping each other and being a good team member. That pretty much had to be the answer imo because of 1. having 8 of us naked in the hot tub 2. someone eventually asking who's hard and three hands went up. 3. a few minutes later someone asking who's gettin hard and two more hands went up and one of those was mine btw. 4. at that point, i was sitting next to the right of Jase and he only kinda brushes against my junk but says "wow, holy shit you guys you gotta check this! ** 5. Then basically every guy, but I don't actually know, grabbing my junk while I attempted to resist.

** = See what I mean about Jase? He's the wild card in my life. I don't know how his brain works, but man he tests my limits. He didn't actually grab my junk, but acted like he was and i was sitting there somewhat calmly when he did it, but his reaction was like it was no big deal and the "wow check this out" and the next thing ya know, I got what I thought was a bunch of straight guys with their hands literally completely around my dick. Some more than once because one guy said that's the hardest hardon he ever felt. (think abt that a sec) which led to two more re-grabs by guys who said I was only semi when they grabbed me.

I wanna say, Jase is such an ass, because of that, but in retrospect, no real harm was done, it was just embarrassing and that was his point.

So that lead to guys saying they were bigger than me or I was slightly bigger (and i'm not big at all) so then Jase suggested everybody grab the guy to their right to compare with what they had.

- Never did i have a guy touch me like that or touch a guy like that. It wasn't horrible or anything, but I was surprised that anything like that could ever happen on my lacrosse team.... at my house.... with my parents home....
- No one except for Jase ever mentioned it again and he only mentioned it to apologize if "he had gone too far" with that and "what did I think of his junk and do I think mine is bigger than his". Classic Jase. No lie, even as he's apologizing he's literally wanting to get a ruler out and i'm like, what are you talkin' about? Who cares? They're like exactly the same as far as i could tell. Man! I was sitting to your right remember? Ya had it in your hand. Does it really matter to you that much? ---- oddly or not oddly idk, i was just a litte upset with him about it cuz it was a bit much. IDK what he's thinkin sometimes.

[jayyy-lmao]

Well, I'm bi and I don't really find the locker-rooms a problem. Like, for guys I'd guess it's harder cos they're shirtless, the girls mostly wear a T-shirt under their gym gear so no one's ever topless. And none of the girls in my locker room are what I'd call attractive.

[steellord321]

I was going back reading your last response and I'm glad your brother's friends aren't "onto you yet". From what you've said, your school or that area is intimidating and given there are churches everywhere, to me, that's even more messed up! In America, I don't know if churches or churches that claim to base their ideas on Christ, do more harm than good. To me, hate and church don't go together. Ever.

you mentioned or asked what would happen if there was a gay kid on the team. Honestly... seriously as honestly as I know of myself and my team and because there is now an "out" NBA player, we talked about it and it would be completely fine. Someone brought it up at one of our Friday after practice mini meeting and no one cared. AT ALL. They really didn't. If some guy is a good team mate, both on the field and off - we don't care and would have his back. Like I literally asked, "so as a team, we, as a group would completely and totally have his back"? YUP was the answer.

A player like Mike who was being a bad, un-involved teammate who is a very good lacrosse player would be and was far worse than any guy, (gay or not) who barely made the team, so only okay lacrosse skills, but believed in helping each other and being a good team member. That pretty much had to be the answer imo because of 1. having 8 of us naked in the hot tub 2. someone eventually asking who's hard and three hands went up. 3. a few minutes later someone asking who's gettin hard and two more hands went up and one of those was mine btw. 4. at that point, i was sitting next to the right of Jase and he only kinda brushes against my junk but says "wow, holy shit you guys you gotta check this! ** 5. Then basically every guy, but I don't actually know, grabbing my junk while I attempted to resist.

** = See what I mean about Jase? He's the wild card in my life. I don't know how his brain works, but man he tests my limits. He didn't actually grab my junk, but acted like he was and i was sitting there somewhat calmly when he did it, but his reaction was like it was no big deal and the "wow check this out" and the next thing ya know, I got what I thought was a bunch of straight guys with their hands literally completely around my dick. Some more than once because one guy said that's the hardest hardon he ever felt. (think abt that a sec) which led to two more re-grabs by guys who said I was only semi when they grabbed me.

I wanna say, Jase is such an ass, because of that, but in retrospect, no real harm was done, it was just embarrassing and that was his point.

So that lead to guys saying they were bigger than me or I was slightly bigger (and i'm not big at all) so then Jase suggested everybody grab the guy to their right to compare with what they had.

- Never did i have a guy touch me like that or touch a guy like that. It wasn't horrible or anything, but I was surprised that anything like that could ever happen on my lacrosse team.... at my house.... with my parents home....
- No one except for Jase ever mentioned it again and he only mentioned it to apologize if "he had gone too far" with that and "what did I think of his junk and do I think mine is bigger than his". Classic Jase. No lie, even as he's apologizing he's literally wanting to get a ruler out and i'm like, what are you talkin' about? Who cares? They're like exactly the same as far as i could tell. Man! I was sitting to your right remember? Ya had it in your hand. Does it really matter to you that much? ---- oddly or not oddly idk, i was just a litte upset with him about it cuz it was a bit much. IDK what he's thinkin sometimes.

Think it's more due to small town than anything but i dunno. Never been to church in the cities. Sucks shit here but 1 month to go...

Well that's really nice to hear that your team would accept it. I saw that too about NBA. That guy is so so brave and seems like a badly needed role model for gay teens. Hope others can take that step now.

That other stuff is unreal but i was reading a blog and they were saying that sports locker rooms are already full of...not 100% hetero behavior. Like the elephant walk, i had to google that and omg. Well this was at your house but really, a gay teammate seems not a big deal after that.

[drew6]

Think it's more due to small town than anything but i dunno. Never been to church in the cities. Sucks shit here but 1 month to go...

Well that's really nice to hear that your team would accept it. I saw that too about NBA. That guy is so so brave and seems like a badly needed role model for gay teens. Hope others can take that step now.

That other stuff is unreal but i was reading a blog and they were saying that sports locker rooms are already full of...not 100% hetero behavior. Like the elephant walk, i had to google that and omg. Well this was at your house but really, a gay teammate seems not a big deal after that.

I'm happy/glad for you that you can count down the days of when you're outta there. I have family in rural Ohio and wow do they have issues. Not as bad as what you deal with, but they have no problem in just casual conversation saying the N-word, gay slurs etc. and the etc is basically any slur you can think of. What I think is messed up about it is they don't use the words with hate in their voice, they use it to describe someone like, "hey what's that kid in the red shirt think he's doing? Except insert slur in place of kid in the red shirt. Then I just laugh to myself when they refer to all southerners and think all southerners are dumb rednecks and backwards when they fit that label better than any southerner I know. smh.

NBA guy: I agree, the dude is brave and honestly, good for him. Takes balls to do that, but I think it's time. It just is. I really don't know any who hates gay kids. A few years ago I'd hear kids call each other faggot, but the school, coaches and teacher put a stop to that. I've actually thought a lot abt the subject because of mike on the lacrosse team and I thought to myself, "so what if he's gay. Let's say he is gay. Why does it hurt me? How could it hurt me? And all I could come up with in my little mind is that it can't and won't hurt me in any way. Any problem with it would be my problem. imo. there's just no chance of it being bad for me. IT's not like he's gonna rape me, so what's the worst case? he looks at me? Looks at me when I'm naked? Heck that happens now and it's a total don't care. The nba dude, I'm hoping he gets some big or different endorsement deals because he is gay! Coke, Pepsi, Nike? Step up!

We didn't have any elephant walk and for that, I'm thankful and even that would just be part of hazing. I'm sure stuff goes on that is incredible and maybe sexual. My hot tub was the most sexual thing I've ever seen or heard of at my school and that happened over the span of like 2 minutes. So it's not like there was a half hour of people grabbing my dick and the dude to the right of them. Didn't see any thing because people put on their swim trunks before getting out and Jase got me one of my other swim suits before i got out.

So if you're curious, the other team or locker room stuff I've seen or been a part of that didn't happen before I was on a team:
1. The rare butt slap from team mate.
2. The not rare hugs ya give or get after a score.
3. The rare to occasional Sac tap from team mates.
4. Every couple of weeks, in the showers, a couple of guys will get their dicks going like helicopters and then everyone in the showers does it. kinda stupid, but it's funny to see tbh because some guys are so uncoordinated they can't get it going. haha. No rhythm!
5. Once in a while someone will be grinding on the side of one of their friends butt cheecks (so basically their hip). Usually if we're talking abt someone getting lucky and some guy pretends he the dude being busted on like he can find the vag or it's reversed and someone pretends they are the girl and is grinding with his hip saying he cant feel a thing or where's the dick type stuff. So if Luke mentioned he was going out on a date, Me and Jase might immitate how we think it will go down and play it out or someone might just do it to you/luke.


So I've read some stuff about hazing and it being sexual, but ours really wasn't.

[steellord321]

I'm happy/glad for you that you can count down the days of when you're outta there. I have family in rural Ohio and wow do they have issues. Not as bad as what you deal with, but they have no problem in just casual conversation saying the N-word, gay slurs etc. and the etc is basically any slur you can think of. What I think is messed up about it is they don't use the words with hate in their voice, they use it to describe someone like, "hey what's that kid in the red shirt think he's doing? Except insert slur in place of kid in the red shirt. Then I just laugh to myself when they refer to all southerners and think all southerners are dumb rednecks and backwards when they fit that label better than any southerner I know. smh.

NBA guy: I agree, the dude is brave and honestly, good for him. Takes balls to do that, but I think it's time. It just is. I really don't know any who hates gay kids. A few years ago I'd hear kids call each other faggot, but the school, coaches and teacher put a stop to that. I've actually thought a lot abt the subject because of mike on the lacrosse team and I thought to myself, "so what if he's gay. Let's say he is gay. Why does it hurt me? How could it hurt me? And all I could come up with in my little mind is that it can't and won't hurt me in any way. Any problem with it would be my problem. imo. there's just no chance of it being bad for me. IT's not like he's gonna rape me, so what's the worst case? he looks at me? Looks at me when I'm naked? Heck that happens now and it's a total don't care. The nba dude, I'm hoping he gets some big or different endorsement deals because he is gay! Coke, Pepsi, Nike? Step up!

We didn't have any elephant walk and for that, I'm thankful and even that would just be part of hazing. I'm sure stuff goes on that is incredible and maybe sexual. My hot tub was the most sexual thing I've ever seen or heard of at my school and that happened over the span of like 2 minutes. So it's not like there was a half hour of people grabbing my dick and the dude to the right of them. Didn't see any thing because people put on their swim trunks before getting out and Jase got me one of my other swim suits before i got out.

So if you're curious, the other team or locker room stuff I've seen or been a part of that didn't happen before I was on a team:
1. The rare butt slap from team mate.
2. The not rare hugs ya give or get after a score.
3. The rare to occasional Sac tap from team mates.
4. Every couple of weeks, in the showers, a couple of guys will get their dicks going like helicopters and then everyone in the showers does it. kinda stupid, but it's funny to see tbh because some guys are so uncoordinated they can't get it going. haha. No rhythm!
5. Once in a while someone will be grinding on the side of one of their friends butt cheecks (so basically their hip). Usually if we're talking abt someone getting lucky and some guy pretends he the dude being busted on like he can find the vag or it's reversed and someone pretends they are the girl and is grinding with his hip saying he cant feel a thing or where's the dick type stuff. So if Luke mentioned he was going out on a date, Me and Jase might immitate how we think it will go down and play it out or someone might just do it to you/luke.


So I've read some stuff about hazing and it being sexual, but ours really wasn't.

Yeah same here except there is hate behind it. Think i mentioned somewhere what the black kids go thru but an example. We were playing some video game and there was a black character so my brother's friend kept calling him n---- and of course they keep laughing like fools. They always saying gay and queer too so I'm thinkin of just not hanging around them either, cause I'm sick of dealing with it both at school and home.

I'm glad you're so mature about it. Really i think of that and how these pro athletes twice our age might have a problem with it and its just, way overdue. The way i see it they shouldn't be made uncomfortable, but i think the NBA can afford shower curtains if it comes to that. Anyway if the military can handle it, yeah...

Your #4...rofl i never would've even thought of that.

[drew6]

Yeah same here except there is hate behind it. Think i mentioned somewhere what the black kids go thru but an example. We were playing some video game and there was a black character so my brother's friend kept calling him n---- and of course they keep laughing like fools. They always saying gay and queer too so I'm thinkin of just not hanging around them either, cause I'm sick of dealing with it both at school and home.

I'm glad you're so mature about it. Really i think of that and how these pro athletes twice our age might have a problem with it and its just, way overdue. The way i see it they shouldn't be made uncomfortable, but i think the NBA can afford shower curtains if it comes to that. Anyway if the military can handle it, yeah...

Your #4...rofl i never would've even thought of that.

On your brother and his friend: IDK if avoidance is the answer. It might be. It could be or maybe you just need a break. My concern for you is that you're isolating yourself further and I can only empathize or imagine how you feel about it because i'm not around people like that very often so I just shake my head at it and think "wow", but I'm not around it like you are. Plus, with your brother and his friend, I look at that as YOUR free time, so you shouldn't have to be annoyed (much) during that. ON THE OTHER HAND... there will usually be some annoyance in life so maybe find a way to deal with it. Maybe have some fun with it.

How about this.... What if you said, "ya know, you guys say gay and queer an awful lot, and that's great an' all, does bother me, but you are aware that people who are anti-homo or homophobic tend to be using it as a cover because THEY are the ones actually in the closet or struggling with their sexuality. Anyway, ya might wanna be careful with that because people could start thinking the wrong thing or I guess you could listen for it and the guys you know that use it the most, might be the deepest in the closet and be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."


So that would be a way to mildly entertain yourself and at least get them to think abt how stupid they are. I'll see if I can find the article on it, it was a study on sexuality, acceptance and hate speech and they asked guys who were gay how homophobic they were when they were hiding it and it really is true that the guys who hate the most eventually came out of the closet and quit wearing plaid all the time and some other stuff. idk, why, but i remember the plaid too.

NBA: Most of the locker rooms in the NBA have individual stalls with a drying area and shower because there's only like 12 guys per team. Football still has communal showers. Either way, for anyone against a gay dude on a pro team, I and the media would like to know in what way would it affect the guy who is against a gay team mate. Then, prepare for stupid statements and ignorance, the media will then haze that fool and the next go round of someone coming out, all the pros will shut up or support the guy because there isn't a single reason other than maybe someone getting a semi and that probably happens once in a while anyway.

Helicopters in the shower: I just don't want you to miss the dual imagery. 1. Picture a bunch of guys doing that in a communal shower, it's a pretty funny image all on it's own.
2. Image the guys with so little rhythm that they can get it going. It's like watch someone uncoordinate use a hoola hoop or something. Better yet, next time ya shower, try to do it, then try to NOT do it and be uncoordinated. I swear it's harder to fake uncoordination than be coordinated.

Half teasing you: I sure wish you blow up to 100 posts already so PM would work. I have kind of a mike me jase update, but didnt' want to make this too long and once I post I gotta wait for you to post so I don't double post and when you post, i feel bad if I don't keep the convo going in the direction it was going. Anyway, the short version is:

I'm pretty sure mike is bi, that's part of his anger issue and why he withdrew from everyone in the past year. He was coming over for dinner once a week, but that's kinda done, because lacrosse is done, school is done in a week and a half. I got to know mike better over the last 2-3 weeks. So there's some stuff there. Jase is kinda struggling with his sexuality too. i'd say he's just having a period of intense curiosity that he needs to satisfy and that's been a topic i thought you could help me out on. (if ya feel like it).

[steellord321]

On your brother and his friend: IDK if avoidance is the answer. It might be. It could be or maybe you just need a break. My concern for you is that you're isolating yourself further and I can only empathize or imagine how you feel about it because i'm not around people like that very often so I just shake my head at it and think "wow", but I'm not around it like you are. Plus, with your brother and his friend, I look at that as YOUR free time, so you shouldn't have to be annoyed (much) during that. ON THE OTHER HAND... there will usually be some annoyance in life so maybe find a way to deal with it. Maybe have some fun with it.

How about this.... What if you said, "ya know, you guys say gay and queer an awful lot, and that's great an' all, does bother me, but you are aware that people who are anti-homo or homophobic tend to be using it as a cover because THEY are the ones actually in the closet or struggling with their sexuality. Anyway, ya might wanna be careful with that because people could start thinking the wrong thing or I guess you could listen for it and the guys you know that use it the most, might be the deepest in the closet and be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."


So that would be a way to mildly entertain yourself and at least get them to think abt how stupid they are. I'll see if I can find the article on it, it was a study on sexuality, acceptance and hate speech and they asked guys who were gay how homophobic they were when they were hiding it and it really is true that the guys who hate the most eventually came out of the closet and quit wearing plaid all the time and some other stuff. idk, why, but i remember the plaid too.

NBA: Most of the locker rooms in the NBA have individual stalls with a drying area and shower because there's only like 12 guys per team. Football still has communal showers. Either way, for anyone against a gay dude on a pro team, I and the media would like to know in what way would it affect the guy who is against a gay team mate. Then, prepare for stupid statements and ignorance, the media will then haze that fool and the next go round of someone coming out, all the pros will shut up or support the guy because there isn't a single reason other than maybe someone getting a semi and that probably happens once in a while anyway.

Helicopters in the shower: I just don't want you to miss the dual imagery. 1. Picture a bunch of guys doing that in a communal shower, it's a pretty funny image all on it's own.
2. Image the guys with so little rhythm that they can get it going. It's like watch someone uncoordinate use a hoola hoop or something. Better yet, next time ya shower, try to do it, then try to NOT do it and be uncoordinated. I swear it's harder to fake uncoordination than be coordinated.

Half teasing you: I sure wish you blow up to 100 posts already so PM would work. I have kind of a mike me jase update, but didnt' want to make this too long and once I post I gotta wait for you to post so I don't double post and when you post, i feel bad if I don't keep the convo going in the direction it was going. Anyway, the short version is:

I'm pretty sure mike is bi, that's part of his anger issue and why he withdrew from everyone in the past year. He was coming over for dinner once a week, but that's kinda done, because lacrosse is done, school is done in a week and a half. I got to know mike better over the last 2-3 weeks. So there's some stuff there. Jase is kinda struggling with his sexuality too. i'd say he's just having a period of intense curiosity that he needs to satisfy and that's been a topic i thought you could help me out on. (if ya feel like it).

Appreciate the concern and yeah, been depressed lately so i dunno if it's better to just let it go or if that makes it worse. Your idea makes perfect sense so i might try it. More than anything though i don't want my parents finding out, so it might be best to just avoid the subject.

NBA i think will be fine and most reactions were positive. NFL i think there's risk of intentional injury. I just can't imagine that if manti teo is caught red handed and still won't fess up.

Well you don't have to post a certain way or at all if you don't want. I talk to myself all the time so no worries. Wow your school finishes early, i'm so jealous.

The good thing about that for mike is it's not a long term problem. He can deal with it and move on. Some of what u said about Jase in the past, i wondered why a str8 guy would do that. To me curious has its limits. It's very common at this age, but i would say, messing around with guys once is curious. Do it over and over and it's no longer about curious, but enjoyment. Same with porn. I've seen on these forums where "straight" guys say they prefer gay porn and i'm like "WHAT?? At least sit down and ask yourself some questions."

But that's the thing. Denial can run deep. But since you were told about it, he's at least considering the possibility. It may help to say "whatever happens it won't change anything, I won't think less of you." So if he is gay/bi it will be easier. I can't really guess though without more detail and even then, it will just hit Jase one day what all this means. Gotta be patient till then. He might also ask to experiment at some point. You can definitely say no to that but be prepared.

[answers-101]

I'm bi, and I have to admit I look at other guys in the locker room.

... Just like I look at girls when they walk by. It's balanced, I guess?

i agree haha, being bi gives u more options lol