I can't live like this anymore

[Naue]

It's destroying me.

I know I'm gay, but I just don't know how to say it...

It's dragging me down, I just feel like there's no way out at all. But why the hell should I feel like this?

I'm supposedly a clever person, that's what I'm told. I'm supposedly outgoing, but that isn't me. Because that's the "straight" me, what the hell.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I know what I need to do, and I think now's the time to sort it all out. I am 16 after all.

[Pierce]

I'm not exactly sure what you mean but I think your trying to say that you can't be who you want to be because your closeted. If that is what you mean, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I want to do something or say something but can't because I'm closeted. I stopped myself from saying that I knew who Tim Gunn was the other day =/. Best of luck!

If I didn't answer your question right or you want to talk about this more send me a message anytime. I think I'm going to have to come out soon and I'm going to dread every second of it.

[spotlessmind]

I think if you "accept" what you are ( if you think you are) then you will not care so much about coming out or not, or telling anyone about it. I think to come out is just another way to force yourself to accept what you are, by doing so, you make the matter so much worse for yourself. So, its important that you accept yourself, then you will have a normal life...like everyone else. I hope my comment helps.

Why do you think you want to come out? For me...it was just very hard to get pass people I have crush with (make me want to die)......I don't care so much about coming out or not.

[dontfiguremeout]

Well if you think it's time, then I would start with maybe a best friend? Someone you trust so much that would accept you no matter who you are. I think from there they can give you the encouragement to slowly come out to like your family, then your other friends. Even if you keep your secret with that one friend for a month or two, or even a year, at least you have someone to go to express how you feel far as maybe whom you like or something around those lines that you wouldn't tell anyone yet.

[Naue]

thanks all you are brilliant x

I did used to have a friend I was out to but he kinda abandoned me in my time of need, something I'll never forgive him for :)

But you know, I'm better off without him. He was only concerned about himself

[Leon03]

From my experience girls are much less homophobic and a lot more understanding than guys. Maybe there is a girl you know to be cool you start talking to. And don't put too much preasure upon yourself. You feel like you want to but there is no need to do it right away. Let the right time come!

[Twilly F. Sniper]

From my experience girls are much less homophobic and a lot more understanding than guys. Maybe there is a girl you know to be cool you start talking to. And don't put too much preasure upon yourself. You feel like you want to but there is no need to do it right away. Let the right time come!

Yes they are.
twice as many of the females I hang out with are accepting as males.

But, you are the same no matter you're sexual attractions. When I had no idea that there are same gender arrangements, I was actually less of an intellectual as I am now. MUCH less.

[teen.jpg]

Find trust in people you can already tell things to, like a best friend. And then go from there.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Find trust in people you can already tell things to, like a best friend. And then go from there.

Similar to the way I did it. It's a good method.

[justin 13]

dude I'm gay and I dont need to come out.

[Danny Phantom]

Tell a very close friend if you have to, it'll take a load off your chest. You'll have that one person you can be your complete self around.

Best of luck man!

[xAlfredo]

I feel the same as you.
I sit at my lunch table with other girls only, and most of my friends ARE girls. If that isn't obvious enough that I'm gay, I don't know what's wrong with some people. I haven't came out to the whole world yet. I've came out to the one girl who sits at my lunch table, and my other girl friends in the school, as well as my one sister and the online world. I wish I could be open to everyone about it. It would be so much nicer. I stop myself from saying stuff that I want to say -- because of my sexuality and the people around me.

[lyriclover]

Despite what other people say... it might be better not to come out to a best friend. Sometimes it's easier to come out to someone you barely know, but you trust. My closest friends were some of the last people to know. If you're fearing a negative reaction tell a lesser aquantence because they're easier to lose than a close friend.

[double_dthatsme]

My story is a little different but I was just like you a few months ago. I had finally realised how I felt and who I was, but I couldnt tell anybody. After a couple months I was absolutley nuts and couldnt handle the pressure I felt as if I was keeping a big secret and I was drownding in it. One day when my friend was dropping me off from the gym I spilled my guts to her. I knew she didnt exactly support gays but wheb I told her I was surprised to discover that she was extremely understanding. Since that day I have been much more confident in who I am and act more "gay" I suppose. People kinda infer that they think I am gay and honestly idc what they think because it is none of their business. The motal of my story is
just be confident in who you are and love yourself for who you are. If you are not comfortable with telling people then dont and if yoy are then best of luck! My advice would be to tell someone you trust first and wait till you are comfortable to enough to tell everybody else. You may be surprised in how reasonable people are but yes there still will be the jerks who judge you. Stay strong and remember I am here along with tons of others to support you and chat if you wanna. I hope you feel alot better once you get this off your chest because trust me it makes all the differ :)ence.

[iwannago]

i dont get why people make such a huge deal about coming out, there is no need to post it all over facebook or twitter, start off with a close friend, then slowly as you come to care lesss about it and trust me you will, tell more people! i hope this helps, i know its such a hard thing to go through.there is no need to tell anyone unless they ask, if they ask either be honest or you can just tell them no im not. everything will end up being okay. i promise

[ace450]

Sorry to say this bud but don't trust any one it only ends badly but it is your life so do what you want I hope it turns out OK

[Magnus Bane]

its fine calm down and start by excepting yourself

[Hermes96]

look we've all been there before and i can say form exsperince that i dose get better you will find someone who will make your days brighter and your friend sounds like a jerk. is there anyone else you know at school that you know is gay or is ok with gay people that you can talk to. That how i worked thing out.

[Extreme586]

I feel for ya man, I feel the same way. I even would go as far as saying all of my self confidence issues have to do with hiding who I am. I am so terrified of being judged that I am a totally different person, the person I think everyone else wants me to be.

[DepartInSecret]

I have been through this and I felt the same. How did I fix it simple enough, I came out. By coming out I no longer had to live my straight life and be scared about people finding out because they knew.
But don't rush it. You said that you feel that it is time to come out which is good, but I found that it helped to start small and then slowly come out to more people and then just tell everyone.
Good luck.

[Abyssal Echo]

I have also been through this. I fixed it the same way. I came out. to me its great I don't have to hide or be scared someone will find out. its out and now I can be me.
like DepartInSecret I started off small. I told my female cousin first then a male friend it kinda spread from there.

[skandardude]

I DID feel commensurate feelings to the ones you just described. When I came out to my parents, I couldn't say the words. The Words. You know? "I'm gay". I sat at the kitchen table for 45 minutes making them guess until they got it right because I couldn't summon the willpower to make my lips form the two words in unison.

I suffered for so long in my own sanctum of self-loathing and personal hatred for the sake of my sexuality. I KNEW IT, like you do. I felt it, like I assume you do. But I had the hardest time admitting it.

What helped me was finding support in others. I feel like I am redundantly advocating for what everyone else on this thread has said, but I feel like its a good way to start.

However, I have another suggestion that might help. Do you have any problems with your sexuality? Are you ashamed of it? Do you not fully accept it? (These are just sample questions I asked myself when I was struggling).

If you can bring yourself to full acceptance in your heart and mind, then you will invariably find that you are more willing to come to terms with implications and parameters of your sexuality. :) That's what helped me. I had to become okay with it. I had to learn that there was nothing wrong with it. I had to understand that I wasn't diseased. If you're there, GREAT! But I think you should take some time for some serious inwardly directed reflection. Think about why you can't come to terms with it!

For me, it was feeling angst and unhappiness with it. If you can resolve the imbalance internally, everything else seems to fall in line. (Ex: me, last year "No. This is a disease--effectively curable." Me now: "That was quackery. I'm gay! And darn proud of it!")

This method worked for me. Maybe it will help you!

[Trenton_]

I DID feel commensurate feelings to the ones you just described. When I came out to my parents, I couldn't say the words. The Words. You know? "I'm gay". I sat at the kitchen table for 45 minutes making them guess until they got it right because I couldn't summon the willpower to make my lips form the two words in unison.

I suffered for so long in my own sanctum of self-loathing and personal hatred for the sake of my sexuality. I KNEW IT, like you do. I felt it, like I assume you do. But I had the hardest time admitting it.

What helped me was finding support in others. I feel like I am redundantly advocating for what everyone else on this thread has said, but I feel like its a good way to start.

However, I have another suggestion that might help. Do you have any problems with your sexuality? Are you ashamed of it? Do you not fully accept it? (These are just sample questions I asked myself when I was struggling).

If you can bring yourself to full acceptance in your heart and mind, then you will invariably find that you are more willing to come to terms with implications and parameters of your sexuality. :) That's what helped me. I had to become okay with it. I had to learn that there was nothing wrong with it. I had to understand that I wasn't diseased. If you're there, GREAT! But I think you should take some time for some serious inwardly directed reflection. Think about why you can't come to terms with it!

For me, it was feeling angst and unhappiness with it. If you can resolve the imbalance internally, everything else seems to fall in line. (Ex: me, last year "No. This is a disease--effectively curable." Me now: "That was quackery. I'm gay! And darn proud of it!")

This method worked for me. Maybe it will help you!

why self-loathing and personal hatred?

[skandardude]

why self-loathing and personal hatred?

Mostly because I felt like being gay, at the time, was wrong--that there was something wrong with me. Truthfully, even beyond being gay, I don't like myself.

But I didn't want to accept that this was who I was. But I have since completely overhauled this in myself.

[GigglyAbby]

How about calling a teen hotline in your area and see who they can refer you to discuss your feelings with? There likely are support groups for you and others with the same issues.

[crepesuzette]

It's destroying me.

I know I'm gay, but I just don't know how to say it...

It's dragging me down, I just feel like there's no way out at all. But why the hell should I feel like this?

I'm supposedly a clever person, that's what I'm told. I'm supposedly outgoing, but that isn't me. Because that's the "straight" me, what the hell.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I know what I need to do, and I think now's the time to sort it all out. I am 16 after all.

are you afraid of being rejected?

[Nottoocool]

I know how you feel exactly. My being in the closet is basically eating me alive. I have two friends in mind who i'd like to tell together but I don't see them in person often now that school is out and I don't want to text them it because someone can read my texts or they may accidentally show someone. It's hard, I know.