Shyness will be the death of me.

[Toogley Schmurp]

So I like this girl, and I'm very certain she likes me back, but I don't know how to approach a girl and ask " the question " (at least not without making myself look like a jacka$$) since I haven't had a girlfriend before. Help please.

[Ryhanna]

Don't worry, we all get nervous about these kinds of things. :D

Find a way to talk to her alone (maybe say that you need to talk to her in private), and take a deep breath, and tell her you like her. It feels like such a hard thing to do, but it's really just that simple. If she says that she likes you too, ask her out.

[AbbaZabba]

Lucifer, this is a post I gave someone else and truly hope it helps.

First, quit labeling yourself. Saying your shy doesn't help. If you are worrying about her, don't worry about being shy too. It adds to the confusion and you don't need that. At least say your nervous, that's very normal.

Shyness is a weak self image. Learn to like yourself. Be proud of yourself through your weaknesses.

Focus on her, listen to what she has to say and don't worry about what you should say. In other words, direct your conversation toward her.

As for girls, there is no magic answer. Don't be afraid of rejection, your going to have to jump into the snake pit and you will not always win, but keep trying. It will get easier every time. You are going to have to practice your social skills to gain experience. If you're trying to get a date, try a movie first. You got a couple hours you don't have to talk and after the movie you'll have something to talk about. Direct your conversation toward her, girls like to yak, plus it makes us feel good, it shows you are interested in us.

I can only speak for myself, but I love eye contact, so don't look all over the place. I am all about communication, and not all girls are like me, but I'd rather you tell me you are nervous, it will get it off your chest and I will try to make you feel better. Try to avoid this though, some girls don't like weaknesses, but it doesn't bother me.

Focus on the moment, and not about your worries. Good Luck Lucifer, wish you the best.

Remember too, you are definitely not alone. I am seeing a lot of similar posts, and being a girl, I haven't felt what you guys must have to go through, so I hope there is some good advice in there.

[Burn007]

One thing i learned last couple of months that could destroy someone mentally is that u can never be certain....and i found that the hard way....

Now on shyness....I know this will be hard,but go and TELL HER everything u thing about her....first time u break that shyness it will be alot easier....Text her,or meet her and tell her everything that u want.....Suck it up and go for it simply....It may work,but it will definetly help u

[Swagamemmnon]

One of the reasons people end up forever alone is because they are too shy. Because, if you were in someone else's shoes, would you think someone liked you if they were always quiet and reclusive? Probably not. I'm not saying you should go and yell your feelings to her through a megaphone, but at the same time being shy will solve nothing. So get some self-confidence! Remember the things that are good about you, and that anybody would be lucky to date you. The worst she can say is no, in which case there are plenty of fish in the sea. And once you have gotten the nerve up to talk, you need to give her your full attention, to show her that you are interested. And don't be so nervous you forget to smile, of course. There's no reason to be scared, after all, it's just a conversation.

[anyone50]

There have been volumes written in self help books on how to overcome shyness and if i have learned one thing that is most of the advise in those books don't really help becuse its more a mental process. Given that social phobia (shyness) is the third most common mental disorder (after depression and alcoholism), your not alone. I don't have enought personal knowledge about you or your circumsatnces so this is more of a generic post and not specific to anyone and there shyness problems. Most people that often say just dive in talk to her or similar advise can't understand the fear a shy person has in social settings and like all mental process it varys in degree from one person to another. There are three basic components of shyness: Excessive Self-Consciousness, Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation , and Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation and you may have one or all three of these componets. The first step is to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point? We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things you do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place. Once you understand what it is that makes you shy around girls you can take steps to combat those feelings. While there are many shy people thier shyness and the circumstanses surrounding their social phobias are unique to each individual. I'm sorry there just isn't any easy answers to this and overcoming your shyness will depend ultimately on you and how much effort your willing to put into overcoming your shyness. One valuable tool you can use is role playing either by yourself or someone that your able to be comfortable around. Wish you the best of luck.

[NUGGETMAN1]

It's true, there is no secret to doing it. I just asked out this girl that I had a crush on and, even though it took a few days for her to get back to me, she finally told me that she wasn't ready. But what she told me was that she appreciated my honesty. Talk to her in person, or overthe phone. Not through facebook. Tell her you have a crush on her, and that you want to go out with her.

[theUnprofessional]

And don't be so nervous you forget to smile, of course. There's no reason to be scared, after all, it's just a conversation.

Lol, I'm quite shy, but when I'm around someone I like I smile :P but I still find it hard to talk...

[xmojox]

Just ask her if she'd like to go ___(insert your favorite fun activity here)___ sometime. Don't be shy. If you know she likes you, too, you're golden. Good luck man!