Razor Kisses
March 11th, 2013, 09:59 PM
So.... I've been cutting for about 3 or 4 years on and off. I started due to bullying because I came out as bisexual at a very young age and no one understood me and told me it was a phase or I was gross and just wanted to sleep with anyone I could get. At the age I actually "came out" I didn't care for sex even! I was only 9! I mean I understand how you could question a 9 year old when they say things like that but then it got so bad that I wouldn't have any friends and would spend all my recesses as a kid alone. When people have nothing but hurtful things to say you start to get hostile towards nearly everyone. So I turned to something this boy (who I actually had a huge crush on) told me about. Well....his exact words were "No one likes you and you're ugly you should just got cut yourself because I won't ever like you and neither will anyone else."...I took this mean little 9 year olds words to heart. Now I've got myself in a position where my family knows about it.. My body is covered in both cuts and scars... And I've been slowly pushing all the people I have away. Because as I got older I got very popular I guess. Not like a prep but people like me....now I'm pushing them away and my family expects me to stop.. I've slowly been trying to... I'm slowly cutting less and less everyday but they expect to just stop. I can't. They don't understand it's addicting. Especially hen it's what you alway went to every time you were hurt and everyone including them weren't there for you... I just don't understand.