how to reach out and ask a friend for help?

[Axw_JD]

I am feeling really crappy and I really don't know what to do... but before anyone yells at me for posting this in Family and Friends instead of the Depression forum, just know that that isn't what I need help with.

What I really wanna ask is, how can I ask my best friend for help? I don't wanna sound needy, or annoy him, or sound like I am just looking for pity or attention... I just really want to hang out and talk. Things are really messed up right now and I just want someone to listen, and I trust him more than anyone else, he is pretty much the only friend I have...

[dontfiguremeout]

This is actually a perfect spot for your thread, so it can stay here. Honestly best friends are suppose to be there for you in times of laughter, but also times when you need help. You shouldn't be afraid to ask your best friend for help. They should help you no matter what the situation is or at least attempt to help. That's what a best friend is for. Now you need to know that if you go to him and ask for help, you will have to do this in return for the future. That's just what you should do anyways from your heart. This will bring the friendship much closer too when you guys can get close.

[Shadow]

I am feeling really crappy and I really don't know what to do... but before anyone yells at me for posting this in Family and Friends instead of the Depression forum, just know that that isn't what I need help with.

What I really wanna ask is, how can I ask my best friend for help? I don't wanna sound needy, or annoy him, or sound like I am just looking for pity or attention... I just really want to hang out and talk. Things are really messed up right now and I just want someone to listen, and I trust him more than anyone else, he is pretty much the only friend I have...

He's not the only friend you have, you have me and I will always be there for you. I have your back my friend. (Wow that was cheesy).

[Axw_JD]

This is actually a perfect spot for your thread, so it can stay here. Honestly best friends are suppose to be there for you in times of laughter, but also times when you need help. You shouldn't be afraid to ask your best friend for help. They should help you no matter what the situation is or at least attempt to help. That's what a best friend is for. Now you need to know that if you go to him and ask for help, you will have to do this in return for the future. That's just what you should do anyways from your heart. This will bring the friendship much closer too when you guys can get close.

I know he should help. I know he should be there for me but I just don't know if he will. I want to believe he will, but I am really scared that he won't, because I don't know if I could stand realizing that the only real friend I have ever had wasn't really my friend after all. That the only person that ever made me feel like I fit somewhere doesn't really care about me. That would destroy what little is left of me and my self respect and confidence.

So far I have always been there for him, willing to do anything if he needs me, regardless of the consequences for myself. I do it simply because he is my best friend, and it makes me happy to see him happy.

[AbbaZabba]

I know he should help. I know he should be there for me but I just don't know if he will. I want to believe he will, but I am really scared that he won't, because I don't know if I could stand realizing that the only real friend I have ever had wasn't really my friend after all. That the only person that ever made me feel like I fit somewhere doesn't really care about me. That would destroy what little is left of me and my self respect and confidence.

So far I have always been there for him, willing to do anything if he needs me, regardless of the consequences for myself. I do it simply because he is my best friend, and it makes me happy to see him happy.

J, first Grumpy gave you excellent advice and I will repeat a few things. I am all about communication and being open, so thinking of reasons to be afraid of asking is just an excuse and just go ask. First, you are not helping yourself by worrying about him. If he's your friend, he won't dump you for being open. Just tell him you need someone to talk personal stuff with that is really bothering you.

The worse thing you can do is dwell on something, and now you added to the list. Communication is the greatest cure all there is, trust me I know. So unless you plan on going to him, you need to go to a parent, a school counselor, etc. I have anxiety and panic issues, and communication has kept it in check. I talk to anyone and I mean anyone, when I feel it coming on now and I can not think of a single person in my life that hasn't listened to me. So just go for it, you will feel much better.

There is nothing on this earth worth being unhappy over. I stress, communication cures, and not always right away, but it will make you feel better. Good luck J and find someone soon.

[crowdlost]

Ok, as cheesy and lame I might sound right now, I'm gonna tell you that you sound JUST like me and my best friend. I am there for him all the time (no matter what the consequences are, for me) and when I need him to be there for me, I have a big problem trying to ask for his help...simply because I'm just scared he might not be there and I'll lose the only good friend I've ever wanted to keep.

So here's what I did. I was really feeling awful a few weeks ago and it was so bad that it really affected me in EVERY single way. He texted me to hang out, and I was "a little cold" in my replies. That EVENTUALLY lead him to ask me if something was up, because why else "are you acting like an ass?"

Of course, at first I said "it's nothing, forget it" but eventually he kept nagging and asking so I poured my heart out.

It's not that I "tricked" him into helping me out when I needed him, it's just that I think that's what EVERYONE does. They say nothing's wrong, act a little different than they usually would, and then voila you just say what's bothering you.

Hope I helped in any way.

Also, I'm here for you whenever you want! PM or whatever! We're all here for you, buddy.

[Second Chance]

I agree with the others, and you really should talk to your friend about what's troubling you. I understand your feelings about being afraid of loosing the friend especially if you open up to him and the friend ditching you. However, it is far better to figure out how the friend is like when you most need him than pretending he is someone that he is not. If the worst does happen (which I am sure will not), then at least you know the person was not worth your time. My guess is that if this person is your friend and enjoys hanging out with you, then he cares about you as a person and would want to help.

I would also say that if your issue is really serious, then talk to your school counselor, too, so that you have multiple people who you can turn to when you are feeling down. Having different perspectives can help a lot, too.

[Gloria1917]

I am feeling really crappy and I really don't know what to do... but before anyone yells at me for posting this in Family and Friends instead of the Depression forum, just know that that isn't what I need help with.

What I really wanna ask is, how can I ask my best friend for help? I don't wanna sound needy, or annoy him, or sound like I am just looking for pity or attention... I just really want to hang out and talk. Things are really messed up right now and I just want someone to listen, and I trust him more than anyone else, he is pretty much the only friend I have...

If he is really your friend then he shouldn't mind you asking for help, and should want to help you. Just be completly honest with him, and tell him that you just want to hang out and talk. Tell him that you really could use a friend right now that will listen, and that you trust him but you don't want to seem annoying. Just be honest and open.
Good Luck!

[xmojox]

I am feeling really crappy and I really don't know what to do... but before anyone yells at me for posting this in Family and Friends instead of the Depression forum, just know that that isn't what I need help with.

What I really wanna ask is, how can I ask my best friend for help? I don't wanna sound needy, or annoy him, or sound like I am just looking for pity or attention... I just really want to hang out and talk. Things are really messed up right now and I just want someone to listen, and I trust him more than anyone else, he is pretty much the only friend I have...

He's your best-friend. Tell him exactly what you said here. Betcha it'll work.

[AJJ1]

i actually have the same problem as you, and really these answers doesnt help me cuz im a reallly shy and closed person!!!