Someone please help

[remmy]

Hi there.

I am 15 years old

I've had general anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember and depression for over a year. I take zoloft.

I started harming myself in November. I started bruising myself, usually with the end of a hair brush. I ended up breaking my own arm. It was my intent to do this. Ever since I got my cast off I have been hurting myself or thinking about other ways to injure myself on purpose.

I told my therapist that I was hurting myself for the first time today. I haven't told anyone before. Now I really wish I hadn't. She said she had to tell my parents (she hasn't yet) and all that confidentiality gets thrown to the wind because I'm hurting myself. I fully regret telling her. It's going to mess everything up when my parents find out. They are going to care way too much and make a huge deal out it... Probably even get angry.

My parents think that I broke my arm skateboarding, When they found out I did it, they are going to think I am absolutely insane! They will never trust me again. I don't want them to think of me any differently or treat me differently. I don't want to hurt them. If I hurt myself, that's my own decision and problem, but I never want to hurt my loved ones.

I just got in to a boarding arts school that I really REALLY want to go to (I am an artist) but when they find our about this, they probably won't let me go. Everything is going to get so screwed up.
What do I do now?
I am a burden and a failure of a daughter.

I just want to disappear. Then they could forget about me and will never have to know what I did. I feel so empty inside.

[Jakey116]

Stay strong , a lot of people are in the same boat as you!
When your parents find out, instead of rebelling against them because you don't want them to know.. Maybe just talk to them about it, try let the, know how thy can help you! Your parents are there to love you, and I'm sure you will eventually overcome these issues, 5-10 years down the track you'll hopefully look back at this and think wow , I'm glad thru found out.


Stay strong xx

[Atonement]

I'm proud of you for telling your therapist. That's a very hard step to take and I applaud you on your courage. Help is always hard ask for and pursue, and even hurts sometimes, but it almost always will help. Your therapist telling your parents will be a good thing. The next statement will sound bitchy, but it's simply reality. Since you can't take care of yourself, you need the help of other to take care of you. Hurting yourself isn't taking care of yourself. Therefore, you honestly probably can't be trusted to handle this. I'm sure you're a trustworthy person, you're just aren't in control.

You don't want to hurt your parents, but hurting yourself is hurting your parents. Those two concepts are innately connected. From how you speak of them, they sound very supporting and loving, so I hope that support will continue.

As for school, it's a possibility that school might be too much for you right now. Your priorities should be your health (mental and physical), your school, your job (if you have it). Never compromise that. However, since you're an artist, you have a terrific opportunity to express yourself and occupy your time with art. I encourage you to create. Creation is a powerful tool of healing, fulfillment, and pride. It has the potential to help you and I hope that you will channel your emotion into productions.

Stay safe.

[Shadow]

My friend stay strong from one self harmed to another I know how you feel. However it is best to stay strong we're all here for you we have your back just say the word and we will be there for you ready to help you out. When push comes to shove keep pushing stay sting and fight back, stay strong don't ever let go.

[remmy]

Hi guys, Remmy here!

I just remembered posting this today so I went back to read it again. I cried such happy tears.

Since this post, I was suicidal and so confused and hurt. My parents were a bit shocked at the news. I was in a very hopeless place.

I was hospitalized for two weeks, then released, but soon after I tried to break my arm again and was re-admitted for another two weeks.

Let me tell you: EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.
I thought all of the "it gets better" stuff was bull crap and I just couldn't see any way out. I was so wrong. Now my life is back on track, my meds have been adjusted/added, I'm going to my arts school and I don't need to hurt myself anymore.

I read this post and it brought me right back to that moment of writing it, completely lost and hopeless, then it brought me right back to now. The transformation is amazing and beautiful.

Please let me be living proof: Things get better when you least expect it. It might be just a day away, so keep fighting.

Thank you <3 :) :yes:

[1_21Guns]

Glad to hear it love, stay strong and keep going! :)