Lucky14
November 12th, 2007, 11:38 PM
I haven't talked to my doctor, or anyone really, about this. I think I might have OCD. I took that checklist thing that Frank had posted and I had a few things checked;
Symptom: Unfounded fears of contracting a dreadful illness
A lot of people in my family got cancer before and I'm unsure if that's why I think this way? I don't know if it's normal that I think this because it's genetics or if it really is a symptom. :confused:
Symptom: Feelings of revulsion about bodily waste and secretions
Symptom: Obsessions about one's body
I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror or anything that will give off a reflection. I think this is so wierd: some days I'll think that I look skinny and then other days I'll think that I look mildly repulsive. Does anyone else get like that?
Symptom: Abnormal concerns about sticky substances or residues
I hate sticky. Anytime anything gets on my hands it grosses me out. O anytime a child is near I always make sure they aren't sticky and if they are I want nothing to do with them. Isn't that horrible?
Symptom: Need to align objects just so
In school I always keep my books aligned in the top left corner of my desk. The biggest books have to be on the bottom and the binders have to be stacked so that they make a square and so that they are even. Everything is stacked and lined up by size. If some one bumps into it, I take a while to realign and make sure it's just perfect.
Symptom: Abnormal concerns about the neatness of one's personal appearance/environment
Symptom: Stashing away useless trash
I kept a lot of random stuff from when I was little, like masks and little art stuff that we would make in art class that is absolutely worthless. I was unsure of where this one had a line drawn between being a symptom and of being just an average pack rat. I also like to keep candy wrappers and old, used gift paper and such, even if I'll never use it again. :blue:
Symptom: Fear of losing something or discarding something
Symptom: Sexual thoughts that one views as inappropriate/unacceptable
I've never had sex and I don't think it's appropriate for me, personally, at this point in my life. But I get these random thoughts about sexual occurances in my head that just freaks me out. I do think that they are unappropriate and unacceptable and I HATE them. Like, sometimes if I'm talking to someone I'll just randomly think about having sex with them or them not having clothing on. It disturbs me to no end.
Symptom: Fears that one may be homosexual
Symptom: Repeating routine activities for no logical reason
I don't a lot of repetition with things that I say, or things that I do. Sometimes when I listen to songs even, if I don't think it sounded like it did before I'll rewind the song to hear that part again. Even though I already know that it'll be the same because it's a recording.
Symptom: Repeating questions over and over
I do a lot of this when I talk to myself when I'm trying to work things out. Or if I don't think it sounded right I'll repeat it until I think it sounded as it should.
Symptom: Rewording or rewriting words or phrases
A lot of times I will erase my words and rewrite them until they are written the correct way and it is accceptable.
Symptom: Excessive concerens about morality and right or wrong
Symptom: Fear of having caused some fatal tragedy
Symptom: Repeated intruding images of violence
This one is a lot like the sexual images thing. Like I'll be talking to some one and random thoughts about hurting them pop into my head. :|
Symptom: The irrational fear of having hurt someone
I'm always afraid that I did something or said something that hurt someone physically or emotionally and then it drives me up a wall.
Symptom: Rituals involving food
Symptom: Irrational fears that some foods are bad or must be avoided
Symptom: Being overly concerned about one's weight
I think a part of this might be because I'm a dancer and there is a certain body type that dancers should have. I don't know?:confused:
Symptom: Excessive, ritualized hand-washing, showering, bathing, or tooth-brushing
I am constantly brushing my teeth. If I know that I'm going to be away from home for a really long time then I always take my toothbrush with me. I'll go crazy if my teeth haven't been brushed at least 3 times a day.
Symptom: The need for symmetry and total order in one's environment
Symptom: The need to keep doing something until one gets it just right
I do this all of the time. For instance, when I'm typing, if a letter didn't "feel right" when I typed it then I will backspace it and try again. I also do this when putting clothing on or scratching an itch, or fixing my shirt.
Symptom: Accumulating useless objects
Symptom: Repeatedly checking to see if a door is locked or an appliance is turned off
I can't sleep unless I know that the front door is locked.
Symptom: Checking and rechecking for mistakes
I constantly reread things to make sure I didn't miss anything, mistake wise. I spend like 10 minutes on a paragraph of something. :/
Symptom: Checking associated with bodily obsessions
I'm constantly checking my body for lumps, bumps, and/or abnormalities.
Symptom: Blinking or staring rituals
I often blink a lot and squint repetitively and rub my eyes.
Symptom: Asking over and over for reassurance
Symptom: The need to ask, tell or confess
Symptom: The need to touch, tap or rub certain objects repeatedly
Symptom: Counting compulsions
I always count. Everything. Everyday. I count streets, cars, books, things that look similar, anything you can imagine, I will count it.
Symptom: Mental rituals
A lot of times I'll think things over and over again to reassure myself of something.
Symptom: Excessive list making
Comments: A lot of kids at school make fun of me and tell me that I have OCD. They always mess with my stuff just to see me realign it and fix it. They often put dots on my papers or mix up my books because they know it bothers me. The one kid even wrote in my agenda to go to my doctor and get checked for OCD. This really hurts my feelings when they do this.
I haven't told my parents that I think I have it because I'm afraid of how they are going to look at me. I'm afraid to talk to my doctor about it because I'm afraid of what she'll say, and the way she'll look at me too.
I also am obsessed with trying to make myself look good to other people. And this is like a major flaw that people will see as a downfall, and they won't think that I'm a descent person. I'm obsessed with what my cousins think of me because I want them to be proud of me, and who's going to be proud of a cousin with OCD?
If any of my comments offended anyone, I am really really sorry. It's just my train of thought and I really do apologize.
Any help, or thoughts about any of this would be greatly appreciated.
Lucky
Symptom: Unfounded fears of contracting a dreadful illness
A lot of people in my family got cancer before and I'm unsure if that's why I think this way? I don't know if it's normal that I think this because it's genetics or if it really is a symptom. :confused:
Symptom: Feelings of revulsion about bodily waste and secretions
Symptom: Obsessions about one's body
I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror or anything that will give off a reflection. I think this is so wierd: some days I'll think that I look skinny and then other days I'll think that I look mildly repulsive. Does anyone else get like that?
Symptom: Abnormal concerns about sticky substances or residues
I hate sticky. Anytime anything gets on my hands it grosses me out. O anytime a child is near I always make sure they aren't sticky and if they are I want nothing to do with them. Isn't that horrible?
Symptom: Need to align objects just so
In school I always keep my books aligned in the top left corner of my desk. The biggest books have to be on the bottom and the binders have to be stacked so that they make a square and so that they are even. Everything is stacked and lined up by size. If some one bumps into it, I take a while to realign and make sure it's just perfect.
Symptom: Abnormal concerns about the neatness of one's personal appearance/environment
Symptom: Stashing away useless trash
I kept a lot of random stuff from when I was little, like masks and little art stuff that we would make in art class that is absolutely worthless. I was unsure of where this one had a line drawn between being a symptom and of being just an average pack rat. I also like to keep candy wrappers and old, used gift paper and such, even if I'll never use it again. :blue:
Symptom: Fear of losing something or discarding something
Symptom: Sexual thoughts that one views as inappropriate/unacceptable
I've never had sex and I don't think it's appropriate for me, personally, at this point in my life. But I get these random thoughts about sexual occurances in my head that just freaks me out. I do think that they are unappropriate and unacceptable and I HATE them. Like, sometimes if I'm talking to someone I'll just randomly think about having sex with them or them not having clothing on. It disturbs me to no end.
Symptom: Fears that one may be homosexual
Symptom: Repeating routine activities for no logical reason
I don't a lot of repetition with things that I say, or things that I do. Sometimes when I listen to songs even, if I don't think it sounded like it did before I'll rewind the song to hear that part again. Even though I already know that it'll be the same because it's a recording.
Symptom: Repeating questions over and over
I do a lot of this when I talk to myself when I'm trying to work things out. Or if I don't think it sounded right I'll repeat it until I think it sounded as it should.
Symptom: Rewording or rewriting words or phrases
A lot of times I will erase my words and rewrite them until they are written the correct way and it is accceptable.
Symptom: Excessive concerens about morality and right or wrong
Symptom: Fear of having caused some fatal tragedy
Symptom: Repeated intruding images of violence
This one is a lot like the sexual images thing. Like I'll be talking to some one and random thoughts about hurting them pop into my head. :|
Symptom: The irrational fear of having hurt someone
I'm always afraid that I did something or said something that hurt someone physically or emotionally and then it drives me up a wall.
Symptom: Rituals involving food
Symptom: Irrational fears that some foods are bad or must be avoided
Symptom: Being overly concerned about one's weight
I think a part of this might be because I'm a dancer and there is a certain body type that dancers should have. I don't know?:confused:
Symptom: Excessive, ritualized hand-washing, showering, bathing, or tooth-brushing
I am constantly brushing my teeth. If I know that I'm going to be away from home for a really long time then I always take my toothbrush with me. I'll go crazy if my teeth haven't been brushed at least 3 times a day.
Symptom: The need for symmetry and total order in one's environment
Symptom: The need to keep doing something until one gets it just right
I do this all of the time. For instance, when I'm typing, if a letter didn't "feel right" when I typed it then I will backspace it and try again. I also do this when putting clothing on or scratching an itch, or fixing my shirt.
Symptom: Accumulating useless objects
Symptom: Repeatedly checking to see if a door is locked or an appliance is turned off
I can't sleep unless I know that the front door is locked.
Symptom: Checking and rechecking for mistakes
I constantly reread things to make sure I didn't miss anything, mistake wise. I spend like 10 minutes on a paragraph of something. :/
Symptom: Checking associated with bodily obsessions
I'm constantly checking my body for lumps, bumps, and/or abnormalities.
Symptom: Blinking or staring rituals
I often blink a lot and squint repetitively and rub my eyes.
Symptom: Asking over and over for reassurance
Symptom: The need to ask, tell or confess
Symptom: The need to touch, tap or rub certain objects repeatedly
Symptom: Counting compulsions
I always count. Everything. Everyday. I count streets, cars, books, things that look similar, anything you can imagine, I will count it.
Symptom: Mental rituals
A lot of times I'll think things over and over again to reassure myself of something.
Symptom: Excessive list making
Comments: A lot of kids at school make fun of me and tell me that I have OCD. They always mess with my stuff just to see me realign it and fix it. They often put dots on my papers or mix up my books because they know it bothers me. The one kid even wrote in my agenda to go to my doctor and get checked for OCD. This really hurts my feelings when they do this.
I haven't told my parents that I think I have it because I'm afraid of how they are going to look at me. I'm afraid to talk to my doctor about it because I'm afraid of what she'll say, and the way she'll look at me too.
I also am obsessed with trying to make myself look good to other people. And this is like a major flaw that people will see as a downfall, and they won't think that I'm a descent person. I'm obsessed with what my cousins think of me because I want them to be proud of me, and who's going to be proud of a cousin with OCD?
If any of my comments offended anyone, I am really really sorry. It's just my train of thought and I really do apologize.
Any help, or thoughts about any of this would be greatly appreciated.
Lucky