WalkingOnDisaster
March 5th, 2013, 02:26 PM
I just need to get this all off my chest...
I was born jaundice and half dead. The doctors told my mom I wasn't suppose to survive, and they're shocked I did. I was raised for half of my first year in a hospital enduring various tests, surgeries and the like. I was also born premature, as a twin of a brother who only likes sex and nothing but.
When I was four my father raped me for the first time. He called me terrible things, told me I was a slutty whore (at two years old-- come on dude), threw me against a wall and never once said he was sorry. My mom was and is oblivious to the obvious torture my father puts me through.
My older brother, who was my step brother, came into action. He'd defend me. He took beatings from my dad in order to protect me. There were nights Kendall could hardly move, he was so beaten up. But he'd still tuck me into bed, tell me it would be okay, and that God still loves me, and I'm not a bad girl.
When Kendall was at work was when it was the worst. He'd come and see me in terrible condition. More than once he'd have took me to the hospital.
Once, Kendall had to go take care of a family emergency on his mom's side, and he was gone for a week. During that time, nonstop rape, abuse, screaming, and pain. That week I started cutting, and I started planning my suicide.
When Kendall came back, he found me in a corner in the coat closet, barely clothed, shaking. I was bloody, scraped, and wet from tears. He screamed a profanity and the biggest argument I'd ever seen irrupted.
That day, my father broke Kendall's arm. I stayed in the hospital with him. He claimed me as his daughter. We didn't sleep the entire first night. We just talked.
Kendall was my only real friend for the longest time, and I trusted him with everything. he wasn't gross like most guys my age. When the bullies raped me for the first and only time, Kendall went to the school, told them all off, and got the principle to expel them.
It was thanks to him I met all the friends I have now, even though most of them have left me. He taught me, though, to never give into depression or suicidal thoughts.
Then he found the cuts on my arm. It had been a year since the first week I started. Kendall actually started crying, and hugged me. I was lost. He pulled up the sleeve to his casual button-up shirt he was wearing that day. I remember it perfectly. Cuts on his arm, just like mine. I started sobbing.
He stopped cutting that day. I told him I did. I never did though...
Then up to today. Kendall died. My mother left. My twin brother raped me last night. My dad doesn't acknowledge me. My little siblings are scared. My older sister is a drug addict. My life has fallen apart.
But that's just every day for Shawna Eternity West.
I was born jaundice and half dead. The doctors told my mom I wasn't suppose to survive, and they're shocked I did. I was raised for half of my first year in a hospital enduring various tests, surgeries and the like. I was also born premature, as a twin of a brother who only likes sex and nothing but.
When I was four my father raped me for the first time. He called me terrible things, told me I was a slutty whore (at two years old-- come on dude), threw me against a wall and never once said he was sorry. My mom was and is oblivious to the obvious torture my father puts me through.
My older brother, who was my step brother, came into action. He'd defend me. He took beatings from my dad in order to protect me. There were nights Kendall could hardly move, he was so beaten up. But he'd still tuck me into bed, tell me it would be okay, and that God still loves me, and I'm not a bad girl.
When Kendall was at work was when it was the worst. He'd come and see me in terrible condition. More than once he'd have took me to the hospital.
Once, Kendall had to go take care of a family emergency on his mom's side, and he was gone for a week. During that time, nonstop rape, abuse, screaming, and pain. That week I started cutting, and I started planning my suicide.
When Kendall came back, he found me in a corner in the coat closet, barely clothed, shaking. I was bloody, scraped, and wet from tears. He screamed a profanity and the biggest argument I'd ever seen irrupted.
That day, my father broke Kendall's arm. I stayed in the hospital with him. He claimed me as his daughter. We didn't sleep the entire first night. We just talked.
Kendall was my only real friend for the longest time, and I trusted him with everything. he wasn't gross like most guys my age. When the bullies raped me for the first and only time, Kendall went to the school, told them all off, and got the principle to expel them.
It was thanks to him I met all the friends I have now, even though most of them have left me. He taught me, though, to never give into depression or suicidal thoughts.
Then he found the cuts on my arm. It had been a year since the first week I started. Kendall actually started crying, and hugged me. I was lost. He pulled up the sleeve to his casual button-up shirt he was wearing that day. I remember it perfectly. Cuts on his arm, just like mine. I started sobbing.
He stopped cutting that day. I told him I did. I never did though...
Then up to today. Kendall died. My mother left. My twin brother raped me last night. My dad doesn't acknowledge me. My little siblings are scared. My older sister is a drug addict. My life has fallen apart.
But that's just every day for Shawna Eternity West.