Hopeless Wanderer
March 5th, 2013, 11:07 AM
OK want to open this by stating clearly that I'm lucky enough to have never suffered from an ED. I'd like a little advice though on how to support my friend. I'm the only person that knows about her issues with food outside of her family.
Like, largely, I know how to deal with her issues with food (she's undiagnosed so I'm hesitant to call her 'anorexic') and support her in a good way. She confides in me, and to me that suggests that she trusts me and I say the right things etc. She tells me that as well.
I'm not one of those twats that's like, 'Just eat,' and I don't freak out at the fact she hardly eats, or purges, or anything. I'm cool with that, I'm more bothered about seeing her through the causes as opposed to forcing food down her throat like all the rest of the world seems to think the solution to EDs is.
Aaaaanyway.
Basically, our friend has organised a meal out for her birthday and my friend, let's call her J, is really not sure about going. I've told our friend that I'll go, and then I asked J if she'd go, she said that she really wasn't sure and that she told our friend that she might be able to go. I tried to gently encourage her, I said people will be happy to see her, she'll be missed if she isn't there, and that if she wants she can sit with me and we'll try to sit in a corner and/or away from people she's not comfortable with and I'll be there to help her through it. She was grateful, she said that it was really understanding of me and thanked me, but I don't want to be pushy.
It'll be nice for her to go and I think it'll benefit her too. I realise that I can't make her decision for her but I want to sway her mindset and really encourage her and give her reasons to go, because I think eating in front of people again for the first time in too long will be a big step and a huge achievement for her. After all, she does want to start getting better.
Any advice?
Thanks
Like, largely, I know how to deal with her issues with food (she's undiagnosed so I'm hesitant to call her 'anorexic') and support her in a good way. She confides in me, and to me that suggests that she trusts me and I say the right things etc. She tells me that as well.
I'm not one of those twats that's like, 'Just eat,' and I don't freak out at the fact she hardly eats, or purges, or anything. I'm cool with that, I'm more bothered about seeing her through the causes as opposed to forcing food down her throat like all the rest of the world seems to think the solution to EDs is.
Aaaaanyway.
Basically, our friend has organised a meal out for her birthday and my friend, let's call her J, is really not sure about going. I've told our friend that I'll go, and then I asked J if she'd go, she said that she really wasn't sure and that she told our friend that she might be able to go. I tried to gently encourage her, I said people will be happy to see her, she'll be missed if she isn't there, and that if she wants she can sit with me and we'll try to sit in a corner and/or away from people she's not comfortable with and I'll be there to help her through it. She was grateful, she said that it was really understanding of me and thanked me, but I don't want to be pushy.
It'll be nice for her to go and I think it'll benefit her too. I realise that I can't make her decision for her but I want to sway her mindset and really encourage her and give her reasons to go, because I think eating in front of people again for the first time in too long will be a big step and a huge achievement for her. After all, she does want to start getting better.
Any advice?
Thanks