Should people show off their sexuality?

[Cicero]

So I'm not misunderstood. I think it's great when people know their friends sexuality, but do you think that they should or shouldn't be so public about it?


There was a remark that someone made who said "Why do gays always have to wear their sexuality like a badge?" And I can see where that remark comes from.


I asked him what he meant by that, and he said that gays shouldn't try to show off their sexuality, they should just act normal. He said they shouldn't try to look gay, they should just look normal. As in no makeup, feminine clothing, etc.


Do you agree with his remarks, where gays, straights, etc. should just be/look/act normal? It's great trying to be an individual, but theres tons of gays who don't wear makeup and just look like any other person.


Edit:
I'm not saying people should be ashamed of their sexuality, I'm just saying that most other people don't go around saying their gay/straight or drawing attention to themselves and their sexuality. This applies to both straights, gays, etc.

A post that was made said: "we just try to show that we are different and that we want to be accepted for". But gays AREN'T different from straights and straights aren't different from gays. The only damn difference is what happens on the bedroom. That statement I completely disagree with, because by that logic, it causes a bigger moat between the sexualities. Instead of showing the difference, how about showing that the two sexualities are the same with the exception of what happens in the bedroom.

[justin101]

Yes and no we just try to show that we are different and that we want to be accepted for. Even if eye act more "gay"

[Cicero]

Yes and no we just try to show that we are different and that we want to be accepted for. Even if eye act more "gay"

Shouldn't it be treated just like its treated with straights? Straights don't go around trying to show they're different.

Also, guess what? Gays aren't different from straights, it seems like you're saying its good that society is trying to categorize someone by their sexuality when its wrong. That just causes a stronger moat in between gays or straights or bisexuals.

[ReginaGeorge]

In some way I get it, because there are gay people whose whole lives orbit around their sexuality, and it can get kind of repetitive and annoying, but the thing you have to understand is they probably went through years of hell, whether it be accepting them self, abuse at home, abuse at school, abuse from their religion, and now they are open and they are free, and it's time to stop hiding, so they really exaggerated their faboulousness to finally be themselves.

The actual question here is "should GAYS be public about their sexuality" because if I turn on a T.V and two people are kissing, that's the sexuality, if two people hold hands in public, that's sexuality, if a person decides to do a sexy dance in public for whatever reason, that is also sexuality. It is kind of impossible to actually conceal it 100%.

Your friend remarks are homophobic, but also heterosexist. Heterosexism is the idea that straight people are normal, and others aren't. So they could be like "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE, I HAVE A GAY FRIEND, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO ADOPT BECAUSE YOU NEED A MUM AND A DAD", that would be a perfect example of heterosexism, and also cissexism. Okay, getting off topic..

Also you're right, gay people will walk right past him, every single day and he'll have no idea that they're gay because they don't fit the stereotypes he has imprinted in his mind. Some straight people act fabulous like gay men as well. Also lesbian, they can be super fabulous but they won't get crap, because they're women, therefore in your friends mind, they're allowed to be feminine, but men can't because they're supposed to be masculine.

So, I think with your friend it's not simply not liking gays being flamboyant, it roots back to awful gender and sexuality stereotypes within our society.

Shouldn't it be treated just like its treated with straights? Straights don't go around trying to show they're different.


Because straight people AREN'T different. They are what everyone thinks is "normal". Gay people are the minority. They are largely out populated by straight people, but they key is that they were oppressed for hundreds of years, and we STILL have to fight for our rights and acceptance.

Merged double post. -Gigablue

[lorddia]

first of all i got to say i belive people "not just guys" should act normal ,act az in dress,talk... cuz like it or not we live in a world that most people are straight and some of these straight people are not comfortable being around homosexuals and the other thing is that some of these people are agressive ones so i think its better for every one to just act and behaive normal !

[Cicero]

In some way I get it, because there are gay people whose whole lives orbit around their sexuality, and it can get kind of repetitive and annoying, but the thing you have to understand is they probably went through years of hell, whether it be accepting them self, abuse at home, abuse at school, abuse from their religion, and now they are open and they are free, and it's time to stop hiding, so they really exaggerated their faboulousness to finally be themselves.

The actual question here is "should GAYS be public about their sexuality" because if I turn on a T.V and two people are kissing, that's the sexuality, if two people hold hands in public, that's sexuality, if a person decides to do a sexy dance in public for whatever reason, that is also sexuality. It is kind of impossible to actually conceal it 100%.

Your friend remarks are homophobic, but also heterosexist. Heterosexism is the idea that straight people are normal, and others aren't. So they could be like "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE, I HAVE A GAY FRIEND, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO ADOPT BECAUSE YOU NEED A MUM AND A DAD", that would be a perfect example of heterosexism, and also cissexism. Okay, getting off topic..

Also you're right, gay people will walk right past him, every single day and he'll have no idea that they're gay because they don't fit the stereotypes he has imprinted in his mind. Some straight people act fabulous like gay men as well. Also lesbian, they can be super fabulous but they won't get crap, because they're women, therefore in your friends mind, they're allowed to be feminine, but men can't because they're supposed to be masculine.

So, I think with your friend it's not simply not liking gays being flamboyant, it roots back to awful gender and sexuality stereotypes within our society.

I'm not saying its bad that gay or straight couples kiss or hold hands, or wear fashion labels and love designers. It's true people have some sort of content of their sexuality on themselves, but they don't go around being blatant about their sexuality. I disagree that those remarks were homophobic, because there are plenty of gays who don't try to show off their sexuality. I find it comparable to religion, there are religious people who love showing off their religion and they love shoving it down the throats of people. People of different sexualities try to do that when they try to wear a badge of their sexuality.

I'm not talking about wearing flamboyant clothing such as longish V-necks (although if they're too long it gets borderline inappropriate) or wear feminine colors, what I mean is wearing makeup that says "Hey YOU, look at me!" Or guys wearing booty shorts or tying their shirt half up like women do who try to look sexy. Hell, I've even worn makeup for various reasons, but I don't try to make it look like I'm wearing it. I try to make it look natural, as if I'm not wearing it.

Being an individual I believe is coloring your hair a certain color or having certain piercings, or having a pink or blue or whatever colored shirt or pants. I believe it starts crossing the line when guys wear the hey look at me makeup, or booty shorts, or the half tied shirt.

[ReginaGeorge]

I'm not saying its bad that gay or straight couples kiss or hold hands, or wear fashion labels and love designers. It's true people have some sort of content of their sexuality on themselves, but they don't go around being blatant about their sexuality. I disagree that those remarks were homophobic, because there are plenty of gays who don't try to show off their sexuality. I find it comparable to religion, there are religious people who love showing off their religion and they love shoving it down the throats of people. People of different sexualities try to do that when they try to wear a badge of their sexuality.

But holding hands in public is blatant, whether gay or straight. If you're in a relationship with that person you're holding hands with, by default, everyone will know you are attracted to that person, and that is a part of your sexuality. There's only an uproar when it's two people of the same gender, just like with your friend for example. Everyday is straight pride day, if you are straight, you can talk about whatever you want within that respect. So you talking about how you think a female celebrity is hot, or holding your girlfriends hand in public is, by your logic, shoving YOUR sexuality down my throat. Turn on TV, straight people. Walk outside, straight people. Go to school, straight people. Open a magazine, straight people. Romance books, straight people. Music, all about loving someone of the opposite gender. by your logic, they are solving their sexuality down my throat, and if you truly believe that gays are okay, and that this is all okay, excluding gay people, then you too sir are heterosexist.

[ReginaGeorge]

I'm not talking about wearing flamboyant clothing such as longish V-necks (although if they're too long it gets borderline inappropriate) or wear feminine colors, what I mean is wearing makeup that says "Hey YOU, look at me!" Or guys wearing booty shorts or tying their shirt half up like women do who try to look sexy. Hell, I've even worn makeup for various reasons, but I don't try to make it look like I'm wearing it. I try to make it look natural, as if I'm not wearing it.

Being an individual I believe is coloring your hair a certain color or having certain piercings, or having a pink or blue or whatever colored shirt or pants. I believe it starts crossing the line when guys wear the hey look at me makeup, or booty shorts, or the half tied shirt.

What I read here is "it's okay to be who you want as long as it conforms within my ideas of what certain people should be" which contradicts your argument.

Sorry if that sounds rude, I'm not trying to be one sided, I'm interested in this conversation. :)

[Cicero]

But holding hands in public is blatant, whether gay or straight. If you're in a relationship with that person you're holding hands with, by default, everyone will know you are attracted to that person, and that is a part of your sexuality. There's only an uproar when it's two people of the same gender, just like with your friend for example. Everyday is straight pride day, if you are straight, you can talk about whatever you want within that respect. So you talking about how you think a female celebrity is hot, or holding your girlfriends hand in public is, by your logic, shoving YOUR sexuality down my throat. Turn on TV, straight people. Walk outside, straight people. Go to school, straight people. Open a magazine, straight people. Romance books, straight people. Music, all about loving someone of the opposite gender. by your logic, they are solving their sexuality down my throat, and if you truly believe that gays are okay, and that this is all okay, excluding gay people, then you too sir are heterosexist.

That's not what I'm talking abut, I'm not saying they should be ashamed. They should be able to do whatever a straight couple does in public. You don't know if people are gay or straight by just walking outside. There are tons of shows that shows the gay sexuality, Glee, Degrassi, The American Teenager, etc.

Like with my parents. My parents don't give a crap what sexuality their friends are, if they like them and if they think they're normal. They'll be friends with them, they don't care what anyone thinks. The key word is as long as their normal, of course my parents wouldn't want to hear how their guy gay friend had anal with his boyfriend and of course my dads gay friend wouldn't want to hear about how my dad had sex with his wife. By doing that, they're respecting each other. My dad woulsnt want to be friends with a guy who wears a bikini while swimming or wears booty shorts, because thats not normal. Im also not a sexist.

[ReginaGeorge]

That's not what I'm talking abut, I'm not saying they should be ashamed. They should be able to do whatever a straight couple does in public. You don't know if people are gay or straight by just walking outside. There are tons of shows that shows the gay sexuality, Glee, Degrassi, The American Teenager, etc.

Yes, but those are occasional (I was gonna say rare, but they are way more frequent these days) cases, also are you trying to deflect the rest of the conversation because TV shows are pretty irrelevant to this. :P

[Cognizant]

It's up to the person's discression. I did it because I want people to know "hey, he's probably open to me, let's ask him out!"

[ReginaGeorge]

That's not what I'm talking abut, I'm not saying they should be ashamed. They should be able to do whatever a straight couple does in public. You don't know if people are gay or straight by just walking outside. There are tons of shows that shows the gay sexuality, Glee, Degrassi, The American Teenager, etc.

Like with my parents. My parents don't give a crap what sexuality their friends are, if they like them and if they think they're normal. They'll be friends with them, they don't care what anyone thinks. The key word is as long as their normal, of course my parents wouldn't want to hear how their guy gay friend had anal with his boyfriend and of course my dads gay friend wouldn't want to hear about how my dad had sex with his wife. By doing that, they're respecting each other. My dad woulsnt want to be friends with a guy who wears a bikini while swimming or wears booty shorts, because thats not normal. Im also not a sexist.

I get that, people are comfortable with certain things (p.s your parents aren't getting a medal for having gay friends), but you also have to remember that there are tons of straight people who don't conform to your social norms either, and being a flamboyant and proud gay person with rainbow bumper stickers and temporary tattoos is their kind of normal, and some people are so open minded and non-judgmental that they don't have a normal. There isn't a certain way someone should be is what I'm getting at. Everyone is different, and targeting gay people is just .. I don't get it. If someone is uncomfortable, that's their problem, not the other persons/people.

[Cicero]

Yes, but those are occasional (I was gonna say rare, but they are way more frequent these days) cases, also are you trying to deflect the rest of the conversation because TV shows are pretty irrelevant to this. :P

You said how straights shove tv shows in your throat when theirs gay shows too. The main thing here, is that gays shouldn't try to revolve their life around their sexuality, just like straights shouldn't. Being an individual is funky hair colors or shoes or pants or shirts, not wearing booty shorts, makeup (that says look at me), bikinis, etc. wearing stuff like that isn't normal by any standard.

There are millions of gays who manage well when they look like everyone else in society, there are many gay actors/actresses who manage very well in Hollywood, most of which don't revolve their life around their sexuality (Anderson, White Collar guy, Ellen, Porsche, etc).


***When you try to show how different each sexuality is, I believe that causes a bigger rift. I think the main goal is to show how each sexuality isn't that different, except in the bedroom.

[ReginaGeorge]

You said how straights shove tv shows in your throat when theirs gay shows too. The main thing here, is that gays shouldn't try to revolve their life around their sexuality, just like straights shouldn't. Being an individual is funky hair colors or shoes or pants or shirts, not wearing booty shorts, makeup (that says look at me), bikinis, etc. wearing stuff like that isn't normal by any standard.

There are millions of gays who manage well when they look like everyone else in society, there are many gay actors/actresses who manage very well in Hollywood, most of which don't revolve their life around their sexuality (Anderson, White Collar guy, Ellen, Porsche, etc).


***When you try to show how different each sexuality is, I believe that causes a bigger rift. I think the main goal is to show how each sexuality isn't that different, except in the bedroom.

But you see, piercings and crazy hair are a part of YOUR social norms, others think they're repulsing, or that people with them are bad people. A guy wearing feminine clothing and acting flamboyant is a part of MY social norms. Do you see what I'm getting at? Every single person has their own ideas of normal. You keep saying gay people should act normal, but my idea of normal is different from yours, and both of ours are different from others. They are acting normal, by MY standards.

Also, you and I both know those people are rare. Don't try to play the "there ARE gay people on TV" because theere are, but there aren't many is my point, and they're portrayed to be different.

I also like how masculine women are conveniently left out here. It's only because bosiez being femine? no be maly chop wood roar feminie bad be mnaly better

[Cicero]

But you see, piercings and crazy hair are a part of YOUR social norms, others think they're repulsing, or that people with them are bad people. A guy wearing feminine clothing and acting flamboyant is a part of MY social norms. Do you see what I'm getting at? Every single person has their own ideas of normal. You keep saying gay people should act normal, but my idea of normal is different from yours, and both of ours are different from others. They are acting normal, by MY standards.

Also, you and I both know those people are rare. Don't try to play the "there ARE gay people on TV" because theere are, but there aren't many is my point, and they're portrayed to be different.

I also like how masculine women are conveniently left out here. It's only because bosiez being femine? no be maly chop wood roar feminie bad be mnaly better

Women who dress masculine are called tomboys, and they're normal. Guys who dress slightly feminine are normal. But guys who dress full blown feminine aren't normal. I don't mean individual definitions of normal, I mean what the general public deems as normal. I dress semi feminine. I'm more of the preppy type. Anderson Cooper is a perfect example, he doesn't act any different from the next guy. Ellen and Porsche are another great example. Rosie Odonnel is another good example. Everyone knows their sexuality, but they don't go shoving it in people's face, sexuality isn't their lives. Anderson Cooper is a guy who I think has a great sense of style, and I would love to have his dressing style.

[ReginaGeorge]

Is that because you think being is feminine is wrong? Dressing feminine is degrading? Being a women is degrading? Worse than being a man? You said you weren't sexist earlier when I didn't even accuse you of it, but clearly you are.

Who is the general public? The conservatives, or the reformists? Both groups are a part of the general public, and they balance each other out. This isn't even including the people in between, but they basically cancel each other out. Why do you think everyone should be your normal? What's wrong with my normal? What's wrong with their normal?

Conservatives are outside of my social norms, but my solution is to not affiliate myself with them and stay out their business. Why is okay for them to get in mine, or anyone's else business? Why should they get the power to deem what is right or wrong for everyone else?

[Cicero]

Is that because you think being is feminine is wrong? Dressing feminine is degrading? Being a women is degrading? Worse than being a man? You said you weren't sexist earlier when I didn't even accuse you of it, but clearly you are.

Who is the general public? The conservatives, or the reformists? Both groups are a part of the general public, and they balance each other out. This isn't even including the people in between, but they basically cancel each other out. Why do you think everyone should be your normal? What's wrong with my normal? What's wrong with their normal?

Conservatives are outside of my social norms, but my solution is to not affiliate myself with them and stay out their business. Why is okay for them to get in mine, or anyone's else business? Why should they get the power to deem what is right or wrong for everyone else?
You made up your own presumptions. I was just to lazy to see what you called me, so I just figured you called me a sexist. What you just did was this:

You're arguing with a guy. Therefore you hate guys. Therefore you believe the world should execute guys. Therefore the world would be better without guys.

What's normal? Anderson cooper, Portia and Ellen, Rosie Odonnel, Wanda Sykes, George tekei, Matt bomer, etc. all of whom are gay celebrities who don't shove their sexuality Down people's sports. Sexuality doesn't consume their lives and you wouldn't guess who or what their sexuality is.

I am not a sexist or anti-women.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Honestly I do see where he comes from.
The only detail I disagree with is to act "normal."
1. We are all unique
2. There's no such thing as normal. Assumed from statement 1.
3. We can't act like something nonexistent. Assumed from statement 2.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Honestly I do see where he comes from.
The only detail I disagree with is to act "normal."
1. We are all unique
2. There's no such thing as normal.
Assumed from statement 1.
3. We can't act like something nonexistent.
Assumed from statement 2.

[Ryhanna]

I think it's up to the person. Some people are private about sex, others like to be more open. If you feel like wearing makeup and dressing femininely is who you are, do it.

I think it can be quite good for gay people to "show off" or broadcast their sexuality. You can't always judge a person's sexuality based on their appearance, so finding a way to broadcast your sexuality is an ideal way to find a partner. Other gay people probably aren't going to ask you out if they think you're straight.

[workingatperfect]

I kind of get where you're coming from. You shouldn't be ashamed of your sexuality, but it's not something to be proud of either. I'm not proud that I'm straight, I just am and that's that. I mean, I get the whole "Gay pride" thing, because it's about not being ashamed of it, but at the same time, it just separates them from straight people more. I just feel like, some people if you ask if they're gay, they're so proud and in your face about it, when it should be like saying you're Italian or Irish or 16 or something. Or when people dress flamboyantly because it will make them look gay, and not just because they like the clothes. But if you're dressing that way because it's who you are, and not because you're showing off, then go for it. I have no problem with that.

But, I can also see it from like, what Patrick and Ryan said, where it makes it easier for guys to approach you. It's so hard to know if someone is gay unless they tell you or make it obvious, and it can be really weird to ask another guy out even if you know for sure he's gay, let alone if you have no clue.

[Syvelocin]

If they're dressing "gay," then there's a problem. If they are dressing as themselves, then it's ideal. If someone's just wearing your typical flamboyant gay guy clothing because he's gay, well... wrong idea in the first place. Just the same as if you are a lesbian and you hate flannel and Burkenstocks, don't wear them. I happen to love them, so I'm going to wear them.

Yeah, I do wear a silicone bracelet but it's exactly as it's been said, I don't scream dyke. I'm spoken for currently, but y'know, in Georgia it's nice when lesbians approach you, and every now and then a guy will see it and stop flirting. Doesn't always stop them, but it helps.

I've never been to a Gay Pride. I'd like to, though, just to experience it. I don't think it would be my thing to really participate every year. But I am proud, however. Not in-your-face proud. But I'm very happy I'm gay. In my social life, I treat it neither as taboo or a blessing, but just fact.