xarvon1412
March 3rd, 2013, 07:31 PM
This is probably going to be a long one. So right now, my life's going pretty well right? I have a new girlfriend, one that I really think loves me. I'm a high school student who is at the same time enrolled in college. I have great friends, and I have so many friends, like tons. I'm currently on medication for depression, anxiety, and insomnia, and I'll be getting therapy come late April, so everything's going well right? Then why am I not happy? I find that whenever I'm alone, and even when I'm not alone, I'll be thinking about my past. So in my past, there's thing girl named Sarah, I don't care if you know her name. It's not like you can stalk her or whatever. Well, Sarah and I were dating for a long time, almost ten months, then she broke up with me. She gave me a note that basically said that she didn't want any relationships for high school and for a long time after. However, on Facebook I now see her posting about getting dates for dances and "if I can get a boyfriend". Well what the Hell? How could she do that? How could she just lie to me like that? I only wanted her to be happy, and yet now it seems like she just wants me to suffer. Well, I just can't hide my past. My wrists are marked, bloody, and there are so many slits. There are scars all over my chest and hips as well. My new girlfriend doesn't want me to cut, but I want to cut so badly...although I also want to end it. I want to commit suicide, it doesn't matter how, but I want to commit suicide. I'm done with everything on this planet, I don't know why it's so hard for me to be happy, but I'm done trying. I don't know if this is goodbye, or not, but all I'm saying is that if something doesn't change soon, this will be goodbye, or at least to my week free of cutting.