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View Full Version : Long story but i need help!


Shimalt94
March 2nd, 2013, 08:26 PM
Hey,

So I have a situation, and I am really confused about it, so I thought I’d come and ask you all for some advice. This is somewhat of a long story, but I would really really appreciate you guys taking the time to help, because I am so lost. I am really shy, and feel a little awkward talking to my friends about this. Basically, I am a freshman in college, and I hadn’t had my first kiss until about a month ago.

This guy who I often see out and is in my extended circle of friends and I had been sort of flirting all weekend, and then we were leaving a bar near campus together, and he asked if I wanted to come back to his room with him. We talked a bit on his bed, and I was drunk, but not too badly—we started kissing and making out, but not too much. I was kind of scared since it was my first kiss, and I didn’t know if he would think I was a bad kisser or something, so I kept stopping. Then I just left, because I was feeling a bit sick (I ended up getting the flu -_-)

I saw him the next weekend and we talked a bit at the bar, and stuff—it was a little awkward, but overall ok. He asked if I remembered what happened, and I said yes. He said that he enjoyed it and that I should text him next weekend or something. However, being shy, I said I would, but then didn’t, even though I really wanted to spend more time with him.

I saw him the next weekend, and the first night I was really drunk(the most drunk I have ever been) I know I talked to him, I don’t remember everything I said, but we were just friendly, and talked the rest of the night/as we walked back. The next day when I saw him, he said I wasn’t that drunk, and I shouldn’t worry about it, but that I shouldn’t drink that much again. We again talked friendly, and then in a bit of a flirty manner… he patted my head (he is really tall and knows it is a pet peeve of mine and has done it in a teasing flirty manner before).

The next weekend, whenever he saw me at the bar he came over to talk to me, and put his arm around me and was pretty touchy in a romantic way. We were very flirty and overall whenever he saw me around campus, he would be very friendly.

The next weekend (last weekend) we were talking a lot (all night) and then we started making out in the bar… We make out a lot, and then went back to my room were we continued to make out. Overall, we went to 2nd base, maybe a little more.

The thing is, I don’t know how to act around him now. I know he has hooked up with a lot of people at college, but according to his roommate (who is one of my good friends) he doesn’t hook up with people twice. In addition, I know that he often does more with girls, like has sex with them or something—and he knows that I am not the type of girl who would do that and has not even tried to go too far or anything. I think it is somewhat significant that he spent a decent amount of time with me (like flirting/putting his arm around me for an entire weekend) when he could have just gotten with another girl.

The thing is, I actually like him now, even though he is not at all the type of guy I would typically like. I saw him at a party last night, but I was super drunk, and tried to act “chill” around him…which for me is kind of like being near him but ignoring him. I have done this a few other times since we hooked up, where I will be in the same room as him and not look over at him even though I really want to, or were we will walk past each other and I won’t make eye contact, which I know could come off as rude or something. This is really just because I am shy, and don’t like to put myself in a vulnerable situation were I could get hurt, and so I end up acting a little rude.

The thing is, I really like him, and I want to hook up with him again. After sort of ignoring him, I saw him talking to another girl at the party last night, and having drank a lot, I ended up drunkenly kissing another guy (I don’t think he saw this, but some of his friends know about this), but it didn’t feel right…like with the guy I like it was better, because I actually have feelings for him.

I am probably going to see him tonight, because we always go to the same bar.

Also, I don’t know if this matters, but even though he has been hooking up with people since he got to college, I know that he had a girl friend in high school for over a year, so he does do relationships/is not just a hook up person..


I really need some advice here. I would go to my best friend with this, but I am pretty sure she has a crush on this guy too, and that would be awkward…so I just really need your help PLEASE!! I will be very grateful.

tundravortex
March 2nd, 2013, 09:22 PM
now even tho im a dude and if i were in your spot and he has a reputation of having alot of gfs in school,i would just look for another one because i wouldnt go for the one with a rep of having that many in one year,than comes the girl with the crush,once u enter his life again with her in it,here comes jelousy,bitching,and finaly fighting over one dude which i wouldnt want to do but in your spot i would act like myself and try not to piss off the other one,girls who have a crush on someone that u like will end up having a vendetta against u but yea just be yourself,if that doesnt work that u can always find another one

anyone50
March 3rd, 2013, 01:08 PM
Taking into account your addmission that you have never been kissed before last month tells me that you didn't have a a lot of expeience in HS with guys. Yor friends told you he ussually dosn't stay around after he has had sex with a girl and this should be a red flag to you since you admitt that it isn't what your looking for in a guy. The thing is about guys like this is it's all about conquest and thats the high for him. It sounds like he is either cutting his losses since your encounters with him hasn't ended in sex and moving on or trying to use jelousy to get you to come around. Either way if you pursue this it will proably end with you having sex and he moves on to his next conquest. Proably not the answer your looking for but the best advise i can give you is just move on and find someone that will care and respect you.

Shimalt94
March 4th, 2013, 07:00 PM
Yeah, I think I am gonna just think it all through. I know my limits and all, so I'm just gonna stick to them, and if he doesn't mind, and wants to spend more time together, then I will--either way, I'm still gonna be friends with him, because we all hang out together.

I got super drunk this weekend, and I need to stop doing that. It's nat attractive to anyone, and it doesn't really reflect who I am/want to me...thats a problem I've had with myself for a while :/

TopThrill
March 6th, 2013, 12:06 AM
Well, this guy seems like he could be looking for someone different, so don't give up. Even though I'm thirteen, I can sorta relate cuz' I'm REALLY bad around the other gender, and the biggest mistake I make is to give up. As long as you know when to fold, keep an open mind. P.S. You might want to think about AA (in all seriousness).

Annabel
March 6th, 2013, 01:11 AM
Well, this guy seems like he could be looking for someone different, so don't give up. Even though I'm thirteen, I can sorta relate cuz' I'm REALLY bad around the other gender, and the biggest mistake I make is to give up. As long as you know when to fold, keep an open mind. P.S. You might want to think about AA (in all seriousness).
Well TopThrill guige you in right direction .I think you need to carry on with these effective steps .

Vaulter
March 6th, 2013, 01:58 PM
Haha, funny how TopThrills advice was really sound until he said "look into AA". Unfortunately buddy it seems that getting really trashed is just part of going to college anymore. Doesn't make you an alcoholic.

As a guy seeing your story, he MIGHT want a relationship, but more than likely is just trying to get in your pants. To me "hooking up" is sex, so every time you say you want to hook up again that's what I think. Making out is just something that tends to happen when drunk and partying, it's not any real sign of a bond (though him spending time with you might be).

Just drink in moderation, don't have sex unless you want to, and see where it goes. If hes pushy about sexy times, call it off.