Scared...of myself almost.

[ezekialar]

I posted a bulletin a few weeks ago about this same sort of thing. I have always done well in school, i love my life, my friends, and my family. But there are these few days out of the week where i think about suicide and it scares the crap out of me. I just started going to a counselor(last friday was my first appointment) to get these feelings and thoughts sorted out. Its like i have no control over my brain sometimes. I dont want to take my life or anything but im just scared. any advice?

[byee]

Advice? Yes, keep talking with your therapist.

The fact that you're scared of these thoughts and are aware that they're not good is a good sign, it means that eventhough the feelings seem out of control, your judgement about them is intact. So, the chances of you acting on them are less.

Feelings cannot hurt you. They can scare you, make you uncomfortable. But they cannot hurt you, no matter how unpleasant they are. It's only when you act on them that they can become trouble. Just say that to yourself, the part that they're just feelings, and you have control over those. And keep talking with your therapist!

[Hyper]

Yes keep talking to the therapist as much as necessary..

Of course be sure to have a good theraphist as bad theraphists just make things worse

[ezekialar]

yeah. i go back the 26th. which seems like a long time away.

is it normal for these thoughts and feelings to cycle? like, ill freak out for about a week and then the next week ill still think about it for a little bit, but not think about them and be stressed out as much. it can range from week to day intervals. could this be bi-polar or just me being weird?

[Maverick]

Being bipolar is getting depressed and very manic in short intervals and happen frequently.

It is very common for your feelings to change over time and cycle. You can't feel the same way 24/7... you're going to have ups and downs, that's expected to happen. Being bipolar is having it happen frequently throughout the day to where you aren't very consistent.

[ezekialar]

Being bipolar is getting depressed and very manic in short intervals and happen frequently.

It is very common for your feelings to change over time and cycle. You can't feel the same way 24/7... you're going to have ups and downs, that's expected to happen. Being bipolar is having it happen frequently throughout the day to where you aren't very consistent.


yeah...thats what i figured. I usually feel better and then ill start to freak out again because a part of me thinks im accepting these feelings and thoughts and then another part of me fights against that and i feel stressed out again. if that makes any sense.

[byee]

yeah. i go back the 26th. which seems like a long time away.

is it normal for these thoughts and feelings to cycle? like, ill freak out for about a week and then the next week ill still think about it for a little bit, but not think about them and be stressed out as much. it can range from week to day intervals. could this be bi-polar or just me being weird?

Why so long until you see your therapist again? Sounds like you need to be in there weekly.

BiPolar in teenagers isn't like the 'classic' BPD in adults, when things cycle from deep depression to high, volatile mania, a cycle which can go for weeks or months at a time (it doesn't cycle reapidly, say, in the course of a day or week). My Dad the Shrink says that Teen BPD is marked much more by extreme volatility/explosiveness/unreasonableness which, he says, has a very 'unreal' quality to it. It seems unstable and poorly controlled, even if you're aware it's going on. You ( or the people around you) cannot stop it.

Whatever you've got, it sounds like it needs some treatment. Bravo for getting to the therapist, don't focus so much on the diagnosis (let him do that), and make sure you see him enough to get all the treatment you need to feel better.

[ezekialar]

Why so long until you see your therapist again? Sounds like you need to be in there weekly.

Whatever you've got, it sounds like it needs some treatment. Bravo for getting to the therapist, don't focus so much on the diagnosis (let him do that), and make sure you see him enough to get all the treatment you need to feel better.

yeah. it was the earliest appointment we could get. and i always think things through a lot so i can never get it out of my head very easily.

[byee]

Well, hang in there. The fact that you think about this stuff, and are aware that it's potentially dangerous will prevent you from acting on it. Thoughts can't hurt you, it's only when they become behaviors that they're trouble.