I like her but don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her...help?

[animaLover7]

I was talking to one of my friends today and she could tell something was bothering me and asked me what. I ended up coming out to her. She's also a Christian so I was worried she wouldn't accept me, but it turns out that she's bi. Ive had a crush on her since we started talking. I think she might like me too. She'll text me that she misses me after just seeing each other and I feel the same way and we do as much together as possible and she told me she's been happier since she met me. I want to find out if she feels the same way about me but I don't know how to approach the subject if I even should. Should I wait a little while longer or just ask and get it over with? How would I approach this without ruining our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way?

[Syvelocin]

This is something I fought with a year or two ago.

My mum guessed I was in love with my best friend and she told me not to tell her. Here's the thing: would you rather keep the friendship or risk it for a romantic relationship that is definitely no certainty?

I didn't even want the romantic relationship, I was just so fed up of sleepless nights of crying over her. I came out and spoke to my uncle who's gay and he told me to tell her, because of his own experiences in which he waited so many years afraid of what might happen and when he finally told him, he was perfectly accepting of his feelings even though he couldn't reciprocate.

However, I've known this girl since we were four. We are ultimately the best of friends. I haven't seen her in half a decade, and I'm still her one of her most trusted, as she is with me. We grew even more close after I told her, but of course she wasn't interested (though she also turned out to be gay) because our friendship just means that much. Doing that sort of thing in a less strong and short-lived friendship could be extremely detrimental.

It's up to you. Personally, I e-mailed her. I don't know if I'd do it in person even if I still saw her on a regular basis. E-mail is great because you can organize your feelings and get everything you want to say out before they reply. If you're interested, I'll include snippets of how it went if you want ideas/comfort.

*******, I'm in love with you. I'm saying it for a multitude of reasons. To start, 1. I'm hoping that having done this will quiet my mind. Let me sleep and maybe even get on with my life. It's wishful thinking, but I think it may be the closest thing I could get to getting it off my mind. 2. Because you can't imagine how much it hurts to know how wonderful someone is, how great of a person they are, and not be able to truly tell them that. That being said, you are more beautiful than you could ever believe you are. You are a bold, unique, strong, vivacious, gorgeous person, inside and out. Don't think for a second you aren't.

Don't take this the wrong way. We can completely forget this ever happened if you wish. I don't want it to be awkward. If that's how you feel, you'll never hear this again. If you can be my friend still, then great. But I wouldn't be telling you now if you had told me you were sure of being straight, just so you know. I would have told you eventually, just not now. Because all this is about is letting you know that you mean a fuckload to someone. Like I said, that's where the pain comes from. The idea that I could never let you know that. I've never been here before. I just don't feel this way for anyone, that's not how I've come to know myself. Everything I've known is a lie. And I'm taking a risk for once. It's about time for me to risk something. My uncle had said that he lacked risks. He took ages to tell people he loved them as more than a friend, and when they ended up not having an issue with it he had wasted years of his life when it really wasn't going to be a big deal. I'm hoping it's going to be the same.

Ok, I’ll be honest – I really didn’t see that coming.
It was incredibly brave of you to tell me this. Had I been in your position, I never would have had the courage. I hope you know how much I appreciate that. But at the same time, there is no way for me to tell you what you want to hear.

To be clear: I still want very much to be friends with you. This doesn’t scare me away or make me feel awkward. Like I said, I really appreciate the fact that you told me.

I don’t know if you’re aware how important you are to me. Whether or not we as a group can respond over email regularly, we still feel very much that you’re a part of us. It’s always been that way. There are seven people in this world that I trust. My parents. ******. ********. *****. *******. And you. That’s it. It’s important that you understand that. I’m surrounded by people all day, every day. Hundreds of thousands of people. And out of those hundreds of thousands of people, there are only a few that I care about, trust, and believe in. You’re one of them.

Please know that I don’t take what you told me lightly. But I can’t change how I feel. For that, I am sorry.

[animaLover7]

This is something I fought with a year or two ago.

My mum guessed I was in love with my best friend and she told me not to tell her. Here's the thing: would you rather keep the friendship or risk it for a romantic relationship that is definitely no certainty?

I didn't even want the romantic relationship, I was just so fed up of sleepless nights of crying over her. I came out and spoke to my uncle who's gay and he told me to tell her, because of his own experiences in which he waited so many years afraid of what might happen and when he finally told him, he was perfectly accepting of his feelings even though he couldn't reciprocate.

However, I've known this girl since we were four. We are ultimately the best of friends. I haven't seen her in half a decade, and I'm still her one of her most trusted, as she is with me. We grew even more close after I told her, but of course she wasn't interested (though she also turned out to be gay) because our friendship just means that much. Doing that sort of thing in a less strong and short-lived friendship could be extremely detrimental.

It's up to you. Personally, I e-mailed her. I don't know if I'd do it in person even if I still saw her on a regular basis. E-mail is great because you can organize your feelings and get everything you want to say out before they reply. If you're interested, I'll include snippets of how it went if you want ideas/comfort.



That is beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with me. You did help. I don't know what will happen with her or when, or even if, I'll tell her, but thank you. I'm sorry it didn't work out with you and her):*

[Eth_94123]

I wouldn't tell her! You'd be putting your whole friendship at risk keep what you've got! :)