Gran has cancer, Friend laughs.

[Straight]

I found out that my gran has lung cancer and is likely to die in a few days. If not, hours.

In assembly, I was teary and my friends said I was just doing it as a joke but then I got 'worse' and I turned to my friend and said "My gran has cancer" and he just said sarcastically "Ohh, his gran has cancer!" and carried on saying that I was faking.

At the end of the assembly I think he noticed... I think he said sorry but I'm not sure.. I just said "Dont" and walked away.

One of my friends appoligised and the other one hasn't yet. I just don't know if I should forgive them. My gran was lying curled up with a gas mask on pumping oxygen into her with a boozed wrist because the vein collapsed from having too many injections for this sugar to enter. She couldn't talk, So I just held her hand. When she would try to say something, we would have to go through the alphabet until she squeezed my hand. She was trying to say "I Love You".

When it was time to leave, I was reminded of when my other gran died. I never said "I love you". And that is the one thing I regret. I managed to slip in last so it was just me, her and my uncle in law. I tried to say "I love you" quietly but I cried and almost shouted it out. I kissed her on the forehead and left crying.

My family were ready for her to die.

Luckily, We saw her today and she was better. She sat up twice and was able to speak. I didn't cry. At one point when we were listening to Paul McCartney, she even started playing air piano. She's still got her sense of humor, even yesterday when she couldn't speak or move she was still her self. I told my gran I started playing piano, so we downloaded a piano app for the iPad and I played Let It Be to her. It wasn't like how I can play it on a normal piano, but she managed to say "Wonderful". It made me teary eyed because Let It Be is the song I sing when i'm sad. One of her wishes was to find out how her mom died, so we are on the case to find her death certificate. It was quite a fun riddle, though we were all in tears because we all knew it could be her last wish. We managed to find out that she died on a palindrome date when I was young and it was snowing which may help us find her death certificate.

I mean, last week cancer was just a word to me. It had no meaning or purpose. But now I know how painful it can be and why there is so much support for cancer victims and families.

If she does pass away, I wont be sad. She's had a good life and has lived to nearly 80. She has seen all her friends and families and she is comfortable. It's a happy environment with lots of jokes.. I even learnt knitting! My uncle said I would make a good wife.

What do I do tomorrow in form when I have to sit with them? I don't think I'm ready to talk to them, let alone anyone else.

[Cook my Sock]

Im not really good at advice but if it was me I wouldn't talk to the one who didn't apologize and if your not ready to talk then don't, and reading that gave me misty eyes a bit.

[Stryker125]

I know it's gotta be pretty hard for you, I've lost a grandfather and very close aunt to cancer when I was younger. I know it sucks. I think you should give those guys the benefit of the doubt and forgive them. That doesn't mean that you have to talk to them or anything, especially if you're not ready. It just means understanding that they didn't know what was going on, and said things they didn't really mean. It happens. People are dumb sometimes. If you aren't ready to talk to them just yet, tell them. Let them know you forgive them for what they said, but you still need some time to yourself for a while.

[Stronger]

Listen, what they did, is just really low of them, regardless if they are joking or not, I suggest, just avoid them until you are ready to talk to them, stuff like that is no joke what so ever, I am truly sorry to hear about your Grandma, I'm glad you are still able to have some laughs with her it sounds like a great thing, and you are really strong for being there.

Today is actually my nan's birthday, and she passed from breast cancer last year, so I can relate to what you are going through. Just remember, when she does passes, you will always have the memories of the good times, and I know she will always look down at you, just like you will look up to her.

If you feel you want to talk some more, feel free to send me a message at anytime. :)

[IVIodern]

Sorry for being completly off topic, just wanted to explain how my situation relates to yours and your grans, not really your friends.

-------
*Teary just thinking about it*
(I am just going to say how it happened, please don't hate me for doing this)

About a month ago, my gran passed away from cancer. She had been fighting it for the best part of 2 years. She got through that time while in chemotherapy, but that Saturday (Around the 25th?) she got really bad. I had seen her that day, she was up and talking to me and all seemed good. That night though, things took a turn for the worse. She had gotten soo bad she couldn't even open her eyes, someone had to be at her bedside at all times. The last time I saw her before things got really bad, I don't even know what the last words she said to me was, but I remember she just went asleep and we(Myself and my sister) left. *full on crying now, just thinking about it*. We went home and I didn't see her again until that Monday night. I am really, really, really hating myself for not going to see her that Sunday or Monday. On Monday at around 8pm, just as I came back from training, my sister got a call to get in to the hospital immediately. I was just literally about to get into the shower, when I was told not to and told to run and get some proper clothes on. We ran out the door, and my sister drive almost as fast as the car would go into the hospital. We got there, parked and ran inside. There we met some of my family. We had to sit in a waiting hall until some people could go out and we could go in and see her. My aunt had been feeling a pain in her back, she was really worried and needed to lie down. Luckily, they had a spare bed in a room so she could go in(We will come back to her later). I remember entering the room, my first site was a 'what the fuck' moment. Lets just say she was lying there, hardly able to breathe. Just think of it as having really, really bad 'flem'(mucus?) in your throat. We spent about 15 mins in there, as more people wanted to get in. Then, one of my aunts that I mentioned above, decided to go into A&E. She was in it all night, literally. Then we went back up to the waiting hall, and sayed there for about 3 hours before went back into see her again. This time, about 30 mins in the room. After that, home people went home to make some food for the rest of us, as some people had been in the hospital for about 3 days straight (my mom) and needed some proper food. By this time, it was about 3am and people were starting to get tired. Some people went home, but we went at around 4am. We left and my mom stayed there with her, along with my aunt. We raced home and I got in the shower. I then went asleep (4:40am?). We agreed to get up at 7am.

7am comes around. We both got up and raced to the hospital, like we did last night. We ran down to the room where she was, and we met the people mentioned above. (Here is the reason she has held on for soo long) At about 9am my uncle had traveled from England to see her one last time. He was so desperate to get back he took an over night boat home. He got in at about 7:30 and went to my gran's house to clean himself up a bit after the boat journey. He then came in at about 9am and sat with her until about 10:10am. At about 9:30am we went to a shop to get some food, as no one has eaten anything proper in days. We came back at about 10:05. At this time, some nurses had told my uncle to leave so they could turn her over onto her other side. Me and my mom went up to see my aunt in A&E, when, at about 20 past 10, we got a phone call from my uncle saying she had died. She had waited for my uncle to come home to see her. We all fell in tears at that time, and me and my mom literally sprinted around the hospital to get there as fast as we could. We saw her, she had coughed up some sort of black stuff. No one was in the room at the time, but this would have the way she wanted to go, alone with no one watching her.

Mostly the rest is a blur, don't really remember it much. of what happend during the next few hours/days. Also the fact that it has taken 40 mins to type this up, I would be here hours to do it.

---------

I would say, don't really care, but if they do it again I would go full on rage mode at them (my situation).

You will be very sad IF she does pass away.
Spend every last moment with your gran, even if she seems to be getting better(As you never know when it can take a turn for the worst), as I never really done that and now I really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate myself over it.

[xmojox]

I'm sorry for the hard time you're going through. I would forgive them if they were my friends, because, as Stryker said, people can be dumb. Talk when you're ready to. I wish you all the best.

[jayyy-lmao]

When my Grandad was sick, the day before he died I got a text from my dad saying he was at deaths doors. I collapsed, and it's ok to cry. You obviously are very close to her. Don't talk to people who thought you were lying. They are cruel. They are not good friennds. I you wanna talk, talk to us or a girl. Girls are generally less cruel when it comes to these things.

[AbbaZabba]

I haven't lost or had a severe illness with anyone close in our family and simply want to say you have my prayers and stay strong, I truly hate this for you. Some pretty good advice above and I would PM people that have been through this. Communication is such a wonderful thing, good or bad.

[MrMundane]

My Gran die of lunge cancer too, it's been a few years but I liked her more than anyone else in the family. As for the friends, they were being asses and you don't have to talk to them until you want to. Sounds like they really thought it was a joke but it still doesn't make it alright.

[Straight]

I have kind of forgiven them.... I know it was just a miss understanding even though there were other people saying "I think he's really crying"...

Thanks for all the messages

IVIodern, I am sorry to hear that :( I am trying to spend as much time over there as possible. I wasnt going to go yesterday because I was mentally prepared for that to be the last time I see her, But I'm glad I went.

The one thing I regret about when my other gran passed away (Sadly, it wasnt a nice death... She fell out her bed and spent three days crawling for a phone until my dad came to see her and a friend laughed at that too) is that I never said I Love You... but now I feel happy because I know I said that to her..... I'll see how she is today

[Straight]

She passed away at 3 PM today.... She wasnt in pain....

I havent cried or even had teary eyes because I know she had a happy, long life. She had constant visitors because no matter where she went people liked her.

When I hand people a shut jar and ask them to open it, most people would say

Not without breaking it

but she would say "I'll give it a shot"

[xmojox]

She passed away at 3 PM today.... She wasnt in pain....

I havent cried or even had teary eyes because I know she had a happy, long life. She had constant visitors because no matter where she went people liked her.

When I hand people a shut jar and ask them to open it, most people would say

Not without breaking it

but she would say "I'll give it a shot"

You and your family are in my prayers.

[Steve Jobs]

I know exactly what you're going through.. my first nan passed away, and it wasn't until two days after we were able to catch a flight to attend the funeral. My other one isn't in too good health at the moment, and I'm clinging onto hope that I'll at least be able to see her again, which I'm confident of, because she's a fighter.

Leave your friends alone. I'm sure they're mature enough at this age to know that you're going through a hard time, and if they really cared enough they wouldn't come to you in that manner. I had some friendships end when my nan passed away almost 5 years ago for the same reason. I guess I reacted badly to a few of them, like shoving one against the wall and telling him to never speak to me again. I don't think that's the way to do it though!

It's great to see you're doing well coping with grieving though. It isn't easy, but when you know she's lived a great life, there's more to celebrate than worry. She's in safer hands up there! :)

[xGloria]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.


However, I would forgive the friends. They didn't make fun of the situation, they simply thought it was a joke. That was stupid. But it sounds like it wasn't with a bad intention.

[SamanthaMaciel]

then punch them in their faces! show that its not a joke!

[Bradley 97]

first of all im sorry about your gran my granny died in 05 with multimyluma cancer caught for 5 years so i know how you feel i was unfortunetally 7 when she passed and its hared to remember so be glad for the years you have the memories! The friend prob thought you wanted attention its what ever it was rude but when you come out and just say it tit can be hard to react to something like that or he could misunderstood! I know why you would be mad one kid made fun my Grammy for being bald and i have four brothers so i know how to fight and lers just say that other kid had a better respect for cancer patients when i was donr lol again sorry for your loss pm me if wanna talk about it im very open

[Keyboardwarrior95]

I found out that my gran has lung cancer and is likely to die in a few days. If not, hours.

In assembly, I was teary and my friends said I was just doing it as a joke but then I got 'worse' and I turned to my friend and said "My gran has cancer" and he just said sarcastically "Ohh, his gran has cancer!" and carried on saying that I was faking.

At the end of the assembly I think he noticed... I think he said sorry but I'm not sure.. I just said "Dont" and walked away.

One of my friends appoligised and the other one hasn't yet. I just don't know if I should forgive them. My gran was lying curled up with a gas mask on pumping oxygen into her with a boozed wrist because the vein collapsed from having too many injections for this sugar to enter. She couldn't talk, So I just held her hand. When she would try to say something, we would have to go through the alphabet until she squeezed my hand. She was trying to say "I Love You".

When it was time to leave, I was reminded of when my other gran died. I never said "I love you". And that is the one thing I regret. I managed to slip in last so it was just me, her and my uncle in law. I tried to say "I love you" quietly but I cried and almost shouted it out. I kissed her on the forehead and left crying.

My family were ready for her to die.

Luckily, We saw her today and she was better. She sat up twice and was able to speak. I didn't cry. At one point when we were listening to Paul McCartney, she even started playing air piano. She's still got her sense of humor, even yesterday when she couldn't speak or move she was still her self. I told my gran I started playing piano, so we downloaded a piano app for the iPad and I played Let It Be to her. It wasn't like how I can play it on a normal piano, but she managed to say "Wonderful". It made me teary eyed because Let It Be is the song I sing when i'm sad. One of her wishes was to find out how her mom died, so we are on the case to find her death certificate. It was quite a fun riddle, though we were all in tears because we all knew it could be her last wish. We managed to find out that she died on a palindrome date when I was young and it was snowing which may help us find her death certificate.

I mean, last week cancer was just a word to me. It had no meaning or purpose. But now I know how painful it can be and why there is so much support for cancer victims and families.

If she does pass away, I wont be sad. She's had a good life and has lived to nearly 80. She has seen all her friends and families and she is comfortable. It's a happy environment with lots of jokes.. I even learnt knitting! My uncle said I would make a good wife.

What do I do tomorrow in form when I have to sit with them? I don't think I'm ready to talk to them, let alone anyone else.

I feel for u mate, I lost my grandad to cancer, and my dad got it January this year, he went into intencive care for two weeks but he made it luckily.
From what I remember, time just seems to stop in those situations, I thought it had been a few days since finding out about my grandad, it had acuy been 2 weeks, it's a horrible place to be, but life goes on and you have to go on with it, you can't change the past so why stay upset with it? Each day has its own worries, let tomorrow worry about itself.

[TimCox]

Some people joke around way too much.