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beebs
February 22nd, 2013, 05:05 PM
I need some advice, the problem involves a very long story, so thanks in advance if you read this, and if you have any advice to give.

On wednesday I went to a "Movie Night" at by best-friends ex-boyfriends house, lets call him Jack, so its not confusing, we had been talking for a while, but it was the first time we had met. By Movie Night, I mean the plan was to watch all of the Lord of the Rings, and play the drinking game, because we had lots of beer and vodka. (we had an adult with us, so I think it legal?)

Basically it turned out I was the only girl there, there was 6 boys and just me. They were all fine, not pervy or anything. In the end we were all drunk by about 9 and didn't put any films on until about half past 9. No one really watched though.

At about 3 am, everyone went to bed (aka. sleeping everywhere), and me and Jack were laying on the sofa together with another guy, when some stuff happened, we ended up making out and we went up to the spare room and was awake until 6 am watching TV and kissing.

When we woke up, we new we had to talk about what happened, luckily we were going to Brighton anyway, we sat down in a cafe and tried to sort things out, I found out he has a girlfriend, and that he was going to break up with her, but stay single. And that was fine by me.

At the end of the night we had about a half an hour walk to the train station at 10 pm, and he held my hand the whole way, and on the train we kissed again.

When we got back to his, we ended up sleeping in the same bed, the same thing happened as before. When we woke up at about 8 am, it happened again, we were making out, but it went a bit further, I ended up with no bra, i wont say what else happened, but it didn't go as far as sex.

When we actually got up, we didn't talk about it. I think we were scared to. We were on the bus to my train station, and I said goodbye and was about to get off, when he kissed me. I said we would talk about it later, and got off the bus.

I am just so confused about what happened. He told me it meant something to him, that it wasn't just a one time sort of thing, I think thats why it happened twice. I don't know what it is he wants, and i don't think he does either.

Im also really torn about weather I tell my best friend or not, they dated. And I feel like I owe it to her to tell her.

Its such a bad situation.

I was going to talk to my friends about it, for advice. When I realized, of the four people that I trust enough to talk to about it, one is Jack's ex, one knows someone who was at the party, one likes Jack, and one is on holiday.

So I guess thats why I came on here. I know it is very long and complicated, but any advice would be very very useful. Its all I can think about since it happened.

justinglives
February 22nd, 2013, 05:12 PM
if it is in fact an ex to your best friend, he is fair game.
I would not tell her however. That would seem if you were ribbing her face in it.
In any event....it is going to get ugly. You can't keep those things secret for long.
how much does this guy mean to you.
You kinda have to decide if you want to stay friends with her or tussle the chance on dating him. Cuz you know she's gunna eventually find out......

beebs
February 22nd, 2013, 05:17 PM
Thats what ive been thinking, she is going to find out at some point.
This guy, I would quite like a chance with him, although I don't know how he feels about it all.
I think I am going to have to tell her, she has a new boyfriend, so I don't think she would feel like im rubbing it in her face. Well I hope not anyway.
The only problem is, I would like to tell her face to face, but she lives about 40 minuets away, and can only see her in the holidays, they end in a few days and shes busy, I really dont want to tell her online or over text :/

justinglives
February 22nd, 2013, 05:26 PM
Sending a pm....

unnamed94
February 22nd, 2013, 06:30 PM
you have to tell your friend imo. its not like you need her approval or anything but you have to let her know. even if you may think you dont need to tell her, it would be better to do it than letting her find out by some other way. i dont feel like telling her would be like rubbing it in her face but more like a 'i thought you should know what happened'.

Swagamemmnon
February 23rd, 2013, 01:16 AM
Well telling her might seem like rubbing it in her face, but if you don't tell her she may feel betrayed. It might give her the impression that you don't trust her with the information or that you're hiding things.

anyone50
February 23rd, 2013, 02:28 AM
I agree it's much better if she hears this from you instead of someone else thu the grapevine. There shouldn't be a problem with you having a relationship with her ex unless the circumstances of their breakup was bad enough that she wouldn't want any of her friends to see him and this dosen't appear to be the case if you all spent time together.

What to do about the guy that says he's not interested in a relationship at the present time but was still interested enough to fool around more than once in a 24 hour period is a whole different situation and my advice is unless your looking for a friend with benifits situation I would cut this clean. It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds where he can spend time with you but not commit which is just another way of saying he wants you but wants to keep looking and dating others. If this is not what you had in mind now is the time to tell him.

Just out of curiousity are yopu aware of the reason they broke up in the first place. Does it have anything to do with him wanting to date other girls?

beebs
February 23rd, 2013, 12:56 PM
I agree it's much better if she hears this from you instead of someone else thu the grapevine. There shouldn't be a problem with you having a relationship with her ex unless the circumstances of their breakup was bad enough that she wouldn't want any of her friends to see him and this dosen't appear to be the case if you all spent time together.

What to do about the guy that says he's not interested in a relationship at the present time but was still interested enough to fool around more than once in a 24 hour period is a whole different situation and my advice is unless your looking for a friend with benifits situation I would cut this clean. It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds where he can spend time with you but not commit which is just another way of saying he wants you but wants to keep looking and dating others. If this is not what you had in mind now is the time to tell him.

Just out of curiousity are yopu aware of the reason they broke up in the first place. Does it have anything to do with him wanting to date other girls?

She broke up with him because he made out with a different girl at a party..

anyone50
February 23rd, 2013, 01:06 PM
She broke up with him because he made out with a different girl at a party..

Ahh I see so this should tell you something about this guy and looking at it from my point of view I wouldn't pursue a relationship with this guy unless your ok with his pattern of behavior becuse it dosn't look like he's changed much since his last relationship fell apart.

Eclipsical
February 23rd, 2013, 05:24 PM
He is fair game, as was stated....

However, once a cheater...