I'm trying so hard

[HeartCoreHannah]

So apparently my dad hasn't been working and all the utilities are being shut off, we're on the verge of being kicked out, and there's no food in the house. My mom is really sick as you may know if you've read some of my other posts and she doesn't need all of this extra stress. I'm trying to get a job so I can help with paying for stuff. & to have extra money to give her for when she goes to Florida.

Every time I think things are finally going to get better, I get punched in the chest and thrown 50 feet back. The stress is killing me. I want to cut so bad, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can not to SH and to help with everything. It isn't fair, at all.

I haven't been cutting much lately, but it's probably because I've been taking Benedryl to sleep so I don't cut. But since I haven't been cutting, my OCD is insane. I can't talk to someone without counting how many words they have said to me. It's getting hard to have conversations IRL because I can't really concentrate on what they are saying.

Right now, I don't know what to do about anything. Getting a job isn't going to fix anything. And it's just going to be more stressful. I have to go out and buy all long sleeves shirts and pants because no one is going to hire me with my arms being as fucked up and they are. I still plan on going to a dermatologist to see if there is anything they can do for my scars, but they're so bad, my arms will never be back to normal. Which causes me to stress even more. I wouldn't care about them as much if when I did get the courage to go out in short sleeves, if people didn't stare and talk.

I hope you're all having a better day than I am. <3

[jayyy-lmao]

Right now you need to calm down.
Focus on getting a job.
Don't cut. It won't help your family.
Keep optimistic.

[GloriousQuote]

Hi, i know it seems impossible to do but you have to stay positive at least a little. Cutting yourself won't get you anywhere . Find a job and you'll see if you help your mom and stuff you'll feel better as well. I know it's hard but just try and think that everything will get better and i guarantee you it WILL get better :). STAY POSITIVE. xx

[xarvon1412]

Don't worry, and don't cut. You'll find a job eventually, and even if working is stressful, I know that you can get it done and get through it. Your arms will be the same. There are some things that dermatologists can do that will make your arms look completely normal. When I have the money I know that that's the first thing I'm going to do. Right now it seems hopeless, but you will get through this. I know, you probably don't feel like you will, but you will. There is nothing that can bring you down, you have to believe that. If you want things to get better, they will. After all, nothing can be terrible forever.