Dunce
February 20th, 2013, 06:31 PM
No, I'm not just using "limerence" as a fancy word for crush, if you don't know what it means then please Google it and see what you think (don't use urban dictionary because it's wrong in this case, try wiki or lovepanky in the results).
I randomly heard this word used incorrectly in a YouTube video, and I liked the way it sounded so I typed it into google and read some results. I freaked out and here's why:
For the past few years I have been confused with where I stand with men and women. I have liked both, but in different ways, none of which fit into categories even close to sexual or romantic attraction.
When reading about limerence I saw the word "obsessive" and didn't think it would apply to me until I read further. The description of it describes close to how I have felt the guys I have liked really bad in the past. Only guys though, not girls. So basically I think that I have felt limerence for men, but normal attraction for girls. But I don't think I have felt normal attraction to men.
There are like 3 main guys I have felt this for, and each of them lasted for over a year, and stopped because I never saw them again after a certain point. The feeling is hard to explain, and if they found out I liked them I would die of embarrassment because people would think I'm so stupid for liking them. In limerence you apparently have fantasies in which you act heroic to them in some way and they give you their gratitude as a reward and that's enough for you, no romance or sex needed. Well, I get this in a different form. Instead of having sexual fantasies about them, all I think about is being near them or becoming close to them and stuff. It's like, being around them and the fact that they're just there satisfies me. Even better when they notice me. I am happy loving them from a distance, in fact being with them sexually doesn't come into fantasies usually. In fact, it's like even if I confessed my feelings, I would be way too nervous and awkward around them for it to ever work.
The thing about it is that it's such a passionate feeling. The way they are in a certain day affects me. If they are sad then I feel sad. If they talk to me and we connect or act cute I just ascend to cloud 9, but if they randomly don't talk to me I notice straight away and will probably have a shit day.
Any description I see of limerence says it's based on intense desire for the person to love you back but I don't think this is the case with me. As I said, I'm good with loving from a distance in these cases but at the same time I need them to give me a little attention.
Anyway, I have had feelings for girls before too but not like this, they seem more normal but yet have never been very passionate. I just don't get it.
I randomly heard this word used incorrectly in a YouTube video, and I liked the way it sounded so I typed it into google and read some results. I freaked out and here's why:
For the past few years I have been confused with where I stand with men and women. I have liked both, but in different ways, none of which fit into categories even close to sexual or romantic attraction.
When reading about limerence I saw the word "obsessive" and didn't think it would apply to me until I read further. The description of it describes close to how I have felt the guys I have liked really bad in the past. Only guys though, not girls. So basically I think that I have felt limerence for men, but normal attraction for girls. But I don't think I have felt normal attraction to men.
There are like 3 main guys I have felt this for, and each of them lasted for over a year, and stopped because I never saw them again after a certain point. The feeling is hard to explain, and if they found out I liked them I would die of embarrassment because people would think I'm so stupid for liking them. In limerence you apparently have fantasies in which you act heroic to them in some way and they give you their gratitude as a reward and that's enough for you, no romance or sex needed. Well, I get this in a different form. Instead of having sexual fantasies about them, all I think about is being near them or becoming close to them and stuff. It's like, being around them and the fact that they're just there satisfies me. Even better when they notice me. I am happy loving them from a distance, in fact being with them sexually doesn't come into fantasies usually. In fact, it's like even if I confessed my feelings, I would be way too nervous and awkward around them for it to ever work.
The thing about it is that it's such a passionate feeling. The way they are in a certain day affects me. If they are sad then I feel sad. If they talk to me and we connect or act cute I just ascend to cloud 9, but if they randomly don't talk to me I notice straight away and will probably have a shit day.
Any description I see of limerence says it's based on intense desire for the person to love you back but I don't think this is the case with me. As I said, I'm good with loving from a distance in these cases but at the same time I need them to give me a little attention.
Anyway, I have had feelings for girls before too but not like this, they seem more normal but yet have never been very passionate. I just don't get it.