Vilnius
February 19th, 2013, 01:51 AM
This is something I've needed to let out for a few days. Excuse me for any broken English.
I've had a crush on this girl for about four months now. I see her every Friday and we've become good friends. We'll talk every week or two, depending on how busy we are. I haven't had the chance to tell her I like her or anything, and I don't know if I should anytime soon. Here's why.
We're both homeschooled, and we've actually both been homeschooled since 6th grade. We go to a homeschool co-op (sort of a place for these kids to socialize) and the co-op hosted a Valentine's day social event. At about 7:30 PM during the social, she asked me if I wanted to come outside with her. I told her I would, so she had one of her friends come with us. We talked a bit and played around, and at one point when her friend went inside to get a drink or something, she asked me something bad I once did. I told her, we laughed about it a bit, and she then told me something she once did, then told me something she once did, and told me not to tell anyone (which of course I wouldn't.)
Later after her friend came back, we ran around, did stupid things, pretty much stuff like that. Several minutes later, her friend eventually went away, and it was just the two of us. Well, we talked, and one thing led to another and it eventually came to her asking me if I'd ever had my first kiss. Obviously I haven't, so she asked me what I imagined my first kiss to be like. Now, since I didn't really imagine it as anything, I just started making up stuff (i.e. I was Count Dooku and Anakin Skywalker was about to cut my head off.) Then we saw her mom look over and walk away, and I thought, "Oh crap, her mom's here." I'm pretty sure the thought was mutual.
So to avoid getting in toruble, which I'm pretty sure almost anyone would do, she ran over to her mom and told her she loved her. Her mom started talking to her, and at the same time was looking over at me. I did NOT look good at all. I was told to dress casual, so I wore my hoodie, which looked fairly dirty, my hair was messed up, and my allergies were acting up that day, do one of my eyes was half-bloodshot, and My eyelids were faded red, so I looked like I had just smoked three joints or something. I didn't want to walk away, because that would be rude, but I didn't want to interfere either, as that would be very rude. So there I was, just standing there all silent, looking like a homeless pothead.
I had a million thoughts, emotions, and feelings all running through me. If you took them all and summed them up into 8 words, here's what I was thinking.
...I feel like a huge dick right now.
They eventually went inside, and she looked over at me and said, "You coming?" That was pretty much the last we talked that day. I sat down inside, got some punch, and tried to just tough it out and pretend I wasn't looking at her the whole time. When my parents picked me up, they asked me how it went, so I said "It was alright," and tried to avoid the whole topic. They got me a chocolate-caramel sundae at Dairy Queen, which was very nice of them. Once I got home and finished it, I got in my underwear, turned on some music, and fell asleep.
Ever since then I've just wanted to tell her I'm sorry. I've wanted to apologize to her mother. I just wish I could've redone the whole thing and made a good impression on her.
Any thoughts on this?
I've had a crush on this girl for about four months now. I see her every Friday and we've become good friends. We'll talk every week or two, depending on how busy we are. I haven't had the chance to tell her I like her or anything, and I don't know if I should anytime soon. Here's why.
We're both homeschooled, and we've actually both been homeschooled since 6th grade. We go to a homeschool co-op (sort of a place for these kids to socialize) and the co-op hosted a Valentine's day social event. At about 7:30 PM during the social, she asked me if I wanted to come outside with her. I told her I would, so she had one of her friends come with us. We talked a bit and played around, and at one point when her friend went inside to get a drink or something, she asked me something bad I once did. I told her, we laughed about it a bit, and she then told me something she once did, then told me something she once did, and told me not to tell anyone (which of course I wouldn't.)
Later after her friend came back, we ran around, did stupid things, pretty much stuff like that. Several minutes later, her friend eventually went away, and it was just the two of us. Well, we talked, and one thing led to another and it eventually came to her asking me if I'd ever had my first kiss. Obviously I haven't, so she asked me what I imagined my first kiss to be like. Now, since I didn't really imagine it as anything, I just started making up stuff (i.e. I was Count Dooku and Anakin Skywalker was about to cut my head off.) Then we saw her mom look over and walk away, and I thought, "Oh crap, her mom's here." I'm pretty sure the thought was mutual.
So to avoid getting in toruble, which I'm pretty sure almost anyone would do, she ran over to her mom and told her she loved her. Her mom started talking to her, and at the same time was looking over at me. I did NOT look good at all. I was told to dress casual, so I wore my hoodie, which looked fairly dirty, my hair was messed up, and my allergies were acting up that day, do one of my eyes was half-bloodshot, and My eyelids were faded red, so I looked like I had just smoked three joints or something. I didn't want to walk away, because that would be rude, but I didn't want to interfere either, as that would be very rude. So there I was, just standing there all silent, looking like a homeless pothead.
I had a million thoughts, emotions, and feelings all running through me. If you took them all and summed them up into 8 words, here's what I was thinking.
...I feel like a huge dick right now.
They eventually went inside, and she looked over at me and said, "You coming?" That was pretty much the last we talked that day. I sat down inside, got some punch, and tried to just tough it out and pretend I wasn't looking at her the whole time. When my parents picked me up, they asked me how it went, so I said "It was alright," and tried to avoid the whole topic. They got me a chocolate-caramel sundae at Dairy Queen, which was very nice of them. Once I got home and finished it, I got in my underwear, turned on some music, and fell asleep.
Ever since then I've just wanted to tell her I'm sorry. I've wanted to apologize to her mother. I just wish I could've redone the whole thing and made a good impression on her.
Any thoughts on this?