Father "Beating to a Different Drummer"

[Wowwhy]

Hello guys. Have not posted in a while. I just wanted to bring this thing up about my father. You see you could describe my father as a "kid". However he is clearly and adult and does things adults do. To understand fully here is some history. I use to go to my dads house every weekend, "Since my parents are divorced." However every once in a while my father would have these fits of rage and freak out about his life. He does not have a filter. Whatever he thinks comes out of his mouth. Do to this he has hurt me so and I have been living with my mother full time now. Dad has grown lonely and wants me back. However I really don't want to go back. I have grown to become afraid of my own dad. I do however still love him, so when he says he misses me I feel guilty that I need to go back and take care of him. Like I am the adult and he is the child. When talking to my mother and step-dad they say it is not my fault dad is lonely. They say dad has pushed everyone away in his life due ton what he does. In all reality I miss my father, but I can't get over my fear of him, and I constantly feel like I need to help him. I am afraid sooner or later he might hurt himself since he basically has no one else in his life now. What do you guys think about this?

[Ghostspectre]

Its hard write what I would do right now as I am very mad at my parents... But I feel so guilty after and when I see them.

[Atonement]

I think if you want the relationship, pursue it. However, if he makes you scared, uncomfortable, whatnot, make that very clear to him. Lay down your law and conditions under which you will have a relationship with him. If he doesn't meet those expectations, tell him you're done. Give him a chance with clear guidelines.

[xmojox]

Talk to him. In a public place. Tell him everything that you said here. Make sure he understands that you want a relationship with him, but that you are scared. Make sure he understands that he's the parent and you're the kid, and he's supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. This is a situation where you need to completely and brutally honest about your feelings. If he can accept what you have to say, that's awesome. If he can't...well at least you have an answer. Good luck, man.

Edit: And please make sure that you're motivated to do this by love and not by guilt. They aren't the same thing at all.

[anyone50]

I think if you want the relationship, pursue it. However, if he makes you scared, uncomfortable, whatnot, make that very clear to him. Lay down your law and conditions under which you will have a relationship with him. If he doesn't meet those expectations, tell him you're done. Give him a chance with clear guidelines.

Couldn't have said this better and One way to make certain that your safe is require him to seek help with his anger issues with the aid of a counselor. There are counselors that specialize in family reunification. If he wants to get back in your life it's a small price to pay.