Brown Bird
February 18th, 2013, 02:18 AM
Hey VT,
I'm going to explain the situation as briefly as I can. Note that I am looking for comments from people in a similar academic situation, i.e. university or college students. But if you feel you can relate otherwise, go on ahead!
I have a crush on a guy in my residence. We are both apart of a circle of friends that see each other everyday, so we interact often. I suspect he may have feelings back, but we are both shy, so this is simple speculation at this point. Although we grow closer with each passing day, taking about very personal topics.
Anyway, the situation would be all fine and whatnot but the problem is that recently I have found out that one of my female friends in the group also has a crush on him. When she confided this to me, it was a big deal and very much implied that I do not tell another soul. In the gravity of the moment, I chose not to tell her about my feelings for him.
If there wasn't anything more to it, I would simply wait for the right time to tell him how I feel and see how he reacts. After all, if we both like him, then he becomes the deciding factor between me and her. It gets more complex though.
Next year, I am renting a house with both my crush and my female friend. Note that I didn't have the crush before we selected a property together.
Now what can I do? Both me and my female friend agreed that relationships between members of the same house is not a good idea for the long-term. She even commented that her compatibility with him was limited, which was a very mature thing to say in my opinion. But if he did end up liking me, I don't want to lose a friend over it. And I don't know how the living situation would hold out. And if he ended up choosing her, I would know exactly how she would feel if he chose me instead: jealous and awkward.
All three of us are very tight within the main group... I don't wan't to ruin a friendship or a potential relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend about my feelings? Or should I tell my crush how I feel, and her secret too? And if we both liked each other, maybe telling the whole living group is a good idea. Although I would feel awkward being intimate with a friend in a house with other friends (in terms of sex and public displays of affection). And if it didn't work out. and we were stick in the same house... I don't know what to do :/.
Thanks for reading,
Brown Bird
I'm going to explain the situation as briefly as I can. Note that I am looking for comments from people in a similar academic situation, i.e. university or college students. But if you feel you can relate otherwise, go on ahead!
I have a crush on a guy in my residence. We are both apart of a circle of friends that see each other everyday, so we interact often. I suspect he may have feelings back, but we are both shy, so this is simple speculation at this point. Although we grow closer with each passing day, taking about very personal topics.
Anyway, the situation would be all fine and whatnot but the problem is that recently I have found out that one of my female friends in the group also has a crush on him. When she confided this to me, it was a big deal and very much implied that I do not tell another soul. In the gravity of the moment, I chose not to tell her about my feelings for him.
If there wasn't anything more to it, I would simply wait for the right time to tell him how I feel and see how he reacts. After all, if we both like him, then he becomes the deciding factor between me and her. It gets more complex though.
Next year, I am renting a house with both my crush and my female friend. Note that I didn't have the crush before we selected a property together.
Now what can I do? Both me and my female friend agreed that relationships between members of the same house is not a good idea for the long-term. She even commented that her compatibility with him was limited, which was a very mature thing to say in my opinion. But if he did end up liking me, I don't want to lose a friend over it. And I don't know how the living situation would hold out. And if he ended up choosing her, I would know exactly how she would feel if he chose me instead: jealous and awkward.
All three of us are very tight within the main group... I don't wan't to ruin a friendship or a potential relationship. Should I tell my girlfriend about my feelings? Or should I tell my crush how I feel, and her secret too? And if we both liked each other, maybe telling the whole living group is a good idea. Although I would feel awkward being intimate with a friend in a house with other friends (in terms of sex and public displays of affection). And if it didn't work out. and we were stick in the same house... I don't know what to do :/.
Thanks for reading,
Brown Bird