Do counselors help?

[SAR151]

Idk where to post this but has anyone ever gone to a councelor to be able to talk to someone? I don't have many friends and my family doesn't live in the same city as me so talking on the phone or texting doesn't help me very much. I just want someone to talk to face to face, about school, work, life, the girl I want but can't have for the past year, etc. and have some legitimate advice, are counselors as helpful as made out to be? I'm thinking about seeing if my university has any and talking to one of them. Thanks for any suggestions.

[Abyssal Echo]

if you get a good councelor that you like and trust then yeah they can be alot of help.
I know you would like a face to face situation but, there are alot of great people right here on VT that would prob be more than willing to talk with ya if you'd like.

[JoeHillsTSD]

For 3 years I had a school counselor who helped me out with everything. When times got tough, I was able to go straight to her office and relax. She helped me with most of my problems.

I also had a therapist for 2 years after that. She wasnt as good as my counselor, but she did help me get a few things off your chest.

Find someone you can trust and who you can come to about anything. If you are not comfortable speaking with them, than you need a new counselor. (i learned this the hard way with my therapist)

[SAR151]

Cool, good to know there are some good counselors out there, hopefully my school has some.
As of now the two feelings I have been having are the feelings of "going through the motions and not feeling like I'm making progress with my life" and loneliness (which is why I would like to see a counselor to have someone to verbally talk to).

[Syvelocin]

If you find a good school counsellor, I'll be very surprised.

I'll keep this short because there was already another thread like this that I answered, but I highly recommend getting someone who's job is to do this sort of thing. These guys also deal with graduation, schedules, uni, careers, grades, etc. I mean, they say they can help you, but they're VERY ordinary people. Very usually close-minded. So yeah, unless you're dealing with friendship issues, bullying, loss, etc. avoid school counsellors at all costs. Mine got me kicked from the school musical because that one day I was having a mental breakdown. Which eventually landed me straight into the hospital.

That was only 10th year, though. Among other things, she would refuse to see me when I really needed her, because she thought I was trying to skip class. She called my mum EVERY SINGLE TIME I cut myself, so I stopped even telling her about it. My only good counsellor was in 8th year, and she was mental to boot.

[SAR151]

If you find a good school counsellor, I'll be very surprised.

I'll keep this short because there was already another thread like this that I answered, but I highly recommend getting someone who's job is to do this sort of thing. These guys also deal with graduation, schedules, uni, careers, grades, etc. I mean, they say they can help you, but they're VERY ordinary people. Very usually close-minded. So yeah, unless you're dealing with friendship issues, bullying, loss, etc. avoid school counsellors at all costs. Mine got me kicked from the school musical because that one day I was having a mental breakdown. Which eventually landed me straight into the hospital.

That was only 10th year, though. Among other things, she would refuse to see me when I really needed her, because she thought I was trying to skip class. She called my mum EVERY SINGLE TIME I cut myself, so I stopped even telling her about it. My only good counsellor was in 8th year, and she was mental to boot.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. Are you still going to a counselor?
I think I'm going to give a few a try, I'm a full time student and full time employee living on my own so my budget is somewhat tight and idk if I'd be able to afford one outside of my school (since its free for students) so I'm going to try a few out first and if it doesn't work out I'll look a different one.

[Second Chance]

There are good and bad counselors out there, and there is no question that bad experiences do occur like what had happened to the poster above. Assuming you are at college most universities have multiple counselors who work in the counseling department, and all because one does not work out does not mean you are married to him/her. Any good counselor will tell you upfront that if things do not click between you two, then they will gladly refer you to someone else who would be better suited to help you. What I am guessing happened to the poster above was that she was dealing with a high school counselor who operates by a totally different set of rules than a college counselor. Also, with a lot of high school counselors in public schools dealing with a lot more students now it does not surprise me that the quality of that counselor was not that great.

You have nothing to loose to talk to someone especially if you are feeling down. The vast majority of counselors are really decent and can help you out as long as you are willing to do your part when it comes to working out problems. If the counselor is not all that great, then ask to see another one which is totally fine. It is not like the first counselor will get mad because anyone would seek a second opinion if they are not comfortable with something.

If possible, it probably would not be a bad idea to talk with your family, too, about your feelings. Keep them in the loop if they are reasonable because they might be able to offer you compassion at very least assuming you are on good terms with them.

[anyone50]

I think they can help but it dosen't matter how good a counselor is they can only help as much as your willing to help yourself. They don't work magic overnight and sometimes results can take months and even years depending on the problems. In my opinion it's always better talking to someone like a counselor than trying to deal with problems on your own.

[Syvelocin]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. Are you still going to a counselor?
I think I'm going to give a few a try, I'm a full time student and full time employee living on my own so my budget is somewhat tight and idk if I'd be able to afford one outside of my school (since its free for students) so I'm going to try a few out first and if it doesn't work out I'll look a different one.

Currently, I see my therapist from the ED clinic I've been going to for a year now. I'm still honouring the deal I made with my mum a while ago: pills or therapy, so I've been constantly seeing someone (though the person changes frequently) for about six years now.

If the school counsellor doesn't end up working out, you know I and everyone else on VT is always here if therapy isn't in your budget.

[What_ever]

Counseling didn't help me. However, I'm not a very open person and nobody can really help you if you refuse to tell them what's wrong with you, so I guess my opinion doesn't really count. :)

[Jinxxy]

Idk where to post this but has anyone ever gone to a councelor to be able to talk to someone? I don't have many friends and my family doesn't live in the same city as me so talking on the phone or texting doesn't help me very much. I just want someone to talk to face to face, about school, work, life, the girl I want but can't have for the past year, etc. and have some legitimate advice, are counselors as helpful as made out to be? I'm thinking about seeing if my university has any and talking to one of them. Thanks for any suggestions.

I've been through 3 counsellors and 2 psychiatrists and they all practically laughed in my face, butted in when I was talking, didn't listen (even though they are paid to listen WTF!?), didn't call me back to another appointment after about the 3rd session and though they told me everything said in those sessions was private and confidential, they passed off the information to others (including my mum in some cases).

My first counsellor was brought into my school to "counsel" me for the death of my step-dad when I was 13 (a counsellor I clearly didn't need).
We barely spoke about my step-dad and talked about my real dad instead, she told other teachers in the school and some of those teachers spoke about what I'd "confidentially" told the counsellor in their classes - to students I didn't even know or who actually bullied me for it afterwards.

My most recent psychiatrist laughed at me when I said I thought I was Bipolar and didn't call me after my 3rd session.

So, no, counsellors/psychiatrists/mental health professionals don't help.
Sorry :/

[workingatperfect]

I think they can help but it dosen't matter how good a counselor is they can only help as much as your willing to help yourself. They don't work magic overnight and sometimes results can take months and even years depending on the problems. In my opinion it's always better talking to someone like a counselor than trying to deal with problems on your own.

Pretty much this.

I went to a counselor when I was 13, and she was great. My mom stuck me there because she thought I'd have trouble coping with her leaving my father (I was 100% fine with it) and I only went for my 7 free visits, but she was cool. She listened on the rare occasions I did talk. She was very friendly, not at all judgmental, and was generally helpful, even though I didn't even need help haha.

But going to counselor is always better than not going. Holding your feelings in isn't going to help anything.

[Desuetude]

The youth worker my school made me see did practically nothing, we just talked over the same things and I didn't feel comfortably letting her in to some of the more serious things so she basically minimised all my problems. My mums taken me to a psychotherapist/NLP person but it's one of her friends and although I've told him a lot more than my youth worker I still don't feel comfortable talking to him because he will judge me if he's friends with my mother and I tell him I don't like her, which I already have done. Probably none of you know what NLP is so I won't go into that but he does that shit with me and my mother has done my whole life as well which is why I think it's bullshit so that annoys me. I regular therapist won't do that though.

It depends on who it is and if they're any good to be honest. You might need to search around before you find someone you're comfortable talking to but once you do I expect it'll be easier to offload and you'll find yourself less stressed about things. It's all up to you though, I wouldn't go by my experience with counsellors/people like them, everyone has different things that work for them.

[anyone50]

The youth worker my school made me see did practically nothing, we just talked over the same things and I didn't feel comfortably letting her in to some of the more serious things so she basically minimised all my problems. My mums taken me to a psychotherapist/NLP person but it's one of her friends and although I've told him a lot more than my youth worker I still don't feel comfortable talking to him because he will judge me if he's friends with my mother and I tell him I don't like her, which I already have done. Probably none of you know what NLP is so I won't go into that but he does that shit with me and my mother has done my whole life as well which is why I think it's bullshit so that annoys me. I regular therapist won't do that though.

It depends on who it is and if they're any good to be honest. You might need to search around before you find someone you're comfortable talking to but once you do I expect it'll be easier to offload and you'll find yourself less stressed about things. It's all up to you though, I wouldn't go by my experience with counsellors/people like them, everyone has different things that work for them.

Good answer It has to be someone you can connect to and trust