Bullied so bad...

[WalkingOnDisaster]

Hey... I am Shawnie. Or Shawna. I respond to both.
I homeschool. But, before I was homeschooled I was bullied in school. Kids would say things that are very rude, things my parents would screw me over if I so much as thought them. I never said or did anything to them. I am not one to need oodles of friends. My boyfriend, brother and couple of female friends are all I need. But when I was in school, I had no one. I'm sure some can relate.
It got so bad that I cut in the 3rd grade. I tried to kill myself every week from the 4th grade to the 8th grade. I am constantly depressed. And I feel ugy... So. So ugly. And fat. But that's not the point.
In school kids told me I can't be human. I've never been easily attracted to people. (the only guy I like besides my boyfriend is the oh-so hot Hugh Jackman) They said I'm an alien. Seems childish but it hurt. Little girls only wanna be like their peers. I was never like them.
I was tormented sexually. One time a group of boys pushed me down onto all fours and pulled my pants down... You know that general story. I had a very bad experience.
I don't understand... Why does it seem like one person is targeted? I wasn't mean (the meanest thing I'll say is to go screw yourself) I wasn't voilent, not a nerd, I'm pretty average.
Does everyone feel targeted? Who else feels like this, and how do you deal?

[SilentCutter]

Hello, I'm very sorry these things have happened to you. It's sad to say that our generation is full of mean immature kids. These things these people are saying to you should mean nothing. Are you an alien? Are you ugly? Are you fat? No, and if you think you are and you don't like it, then change it. Sometimes we are targeted, and sometimes we feel like "what the hell, i didnt do anything wrong to them!" but we have to remind ourselves, "am i going to spend the rest of my life listening to them, people who have no idea what they're talking about...people who don't know me, or am I going to listen to my own voice and live the life I want?" Because, frankly, life is how we make it out.
As for you being raped, or sexually assaulted, I say tell someone and talk to someone about it. You shouldn't have to go through that on your own.
I can't say I'll be your friend, because in another of your posts you said you're not here to make friends, but if you need to talk or rant about something that is bothering you, feel free to send me a message.
I hope things get better for you. :)

[jayyy-lmao]

I always feel targeted. It's like the world is ganging up on me. I can totally relate. I am really sorry this happened.

[anyone50]

I don't think there are any easy answers to why someone is targeted but most bullys do it because it makes them feel big when inside they actually feel very threatened by the person they target. The only way to stop this is to hold them accountable as well as making the school accountable for providing a safe enviroment for all students. Our school has a zero tolerance and it's an immediate suspention for anyone bullying followed by a hearing that could lead to expulsion but I go to a private school so i'm not sure how it works in public schools

[Horizon]

I have felt targeted.

Being one of the only three openly gay kids in school, I actually feel like I got the butt-end of it all. At first it sucked you know, I didn't like it. But now, I just brush it off. They are words of hate, and should not be acknowledged ever. And I don't know why it seems like one person gets targeted. I mean it's always easy to look from the outside in, right?

[Xenonrecover]

You really should have told someone about this or gone to a support group as they help out loads with any problem. It is nice to have someone to talk to and know what it feels like there. They also tell you how to deal with it and what's best for later on in life. A good group to go to is the Samaritans

[liezia]

why is their so many bullies

[crepesuzette]

yeah bullied.. i've been bulllied. i even posted being bullied on the other forum but nobody in the world fuckin cared

[Texas warrior]

I am kind of like you, back when I was in school I everybodys favorite to pick on.