guys feelings towards being raped [Archive]

mynameisjane

November 5th, 2007, 05:17 AM

maybe this is a dumb question but based on guys attitudes about sex i was just wondering if a girl managed to tie and blindfold a guy or if she slipped a roofie in his drink or something, and she raped him, would it be traumatizing to him?

ThatCanadianGuy

November 5th, 2007, 07:26 AM

How exactly would he be raped? If it was just like regular sex (and the girl was hot) he'd probably tell all his friends where she sits at the bar! But if it was something weird like using a fake dingle dongle (sorry I like that word :D) on his anus he'd probably NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!

:yeah:

Hauptmann Kauffman

November 5th, 2007, 09:27 AM

I agree, I think It would depend

Lifesreject

November 5th, 2007, 12:06 PM

Erm i think it probably would be a bit tramatizing but mabey not depends on the guy a suppose.

Maverick

November 5th, 2007, 02:50 PM

Guys aren't emotionless beings. Any kind of forced sexual abuse would be traumatizing. To make an assumption that guys are so sexually focused that any sexual abuse would be seen as a benefit is being extremely narrow-minded and naive. I'm sorry but its true.

Aηdy

November 5th, 2007, 04:37 PM

mobile

November 5th, 2007, 05:12 PM

As said before- it may sound like a laugh now but if it actually happens Im sure it wouldnt be a joke! I think its unfair how the law always asumes the guy is in the wrong most of them time with rape cases.

Hauptmann Kauffman

November 5th, 2007, 05:59 PM

I agree 100%, men are treated unfairly in the US!:mad:

byee

November 5th, 2007, 07:51 PM

What an odd question from you, Jane. Why are you asking this?

Rape is rape is rape. It doesn't matter if it's a guy doing it to a girl or a girl doing it to a guy. Non consensual sex is just plain wrong, it' not about sex, it's about violence.

R_master

November 5th, 2007, 08:28 PM

eh its almost impossible to force a guy to have sex with you considering the physics of it..

I'm assuming your idea of rape means purely sexual without really harming him. physical abuse is never appropriate outside of an already established masochistic relationship, of course it would be traumatizing!

mynameisjane

November 5th, 2007, 10:34 PM

just to be clear, i wouldnt rape anyone.
well i'm trying to figure out if a guy would feel equally as bad? if the rapist never inflicts physical pain on him and if he gets an erection in response to stimulus, it still counts as rape right? because if a girl gets raped, she'll have physical pain from it. and she'll have that fear of being overpowered by a man again. but i wasnt sure if guys could feel that fear of women.

sorry i sound nieve, but not just based on guys attitudes but by how society is, how women are always seen as vulnerable to men, just after reading the superpower thread and seeing that those guys fantasize about raping people when time is frozen, it just got me thinking if a guy would feel the exact same way about being raped? because you know how it is, if a girl has sex a lot, she's a whore. if a guy has sex a lot, hes a stud. yeah, this question makes me sound like a jerk, but come on, we all know that with the way society is, sex isnt really 50/50.

byee

November 5th, 2007, 11:23 PM

No, Jane, no one ever suggested you'd rape anyone. You're way to nice for that, we know.

It's not the amount of sex, I'd disagree with the characterization that 'girls are whores but guys are studs', it's the tyoe of relationship the sex is occurring in that matters (to me, anyway). Sex as a loving, caring gesture is a lot diff than sex just to get off, regardless of the number of partners, or the gender of the participant.

Non consensual sex (sex between people who haven't, or cannot, give consent, their permission) is really never ok. It doesn't matter what the combo is, it's not ok. On TV maybe, but in real life, in order to be THAT close, you really need the other person's permission. Without that, it's not ok. I think society is pretty much in agreement with this, too.

mynameisjane

November 6th, 2007, 11:54 AM

makes sense.

i NEVER said it was okay. i NEVER said guys would see rape as a benefit. i was just wonering if a guy would react to rape the same way a girl would and if it would be equally as emotionally scarring, if he would have a fear of women, if it would haunt him forever.

Brandon639

November 6th, 2007, 12:58 PM

Why would it be any different from a girl being raped? Do people really think that guys like sex so much that they would want to be raped???

LateForTheSky

November 6th, 2007, 04:21 PM

(directed at original post) I understand what you mean as the stereotype suggests that men are sex junkies and women hold back but the reality is that its a very unpleasent thing to go through. It would be different if you based it upon character but i know no one who would not be affected in a bad way after being raped.

ThatCanadianGuy

November 6th, 2007, 06:38 PM

My first post wasn't entirely... accurate. But it did give a pretty good example of how society thinks right now. Honestly guys would be just as affected as women, and even more so. Why? Because guys are supposed to be strong, in control, and "unable to take advantage of" by our standards. As soon as this happens, our whole way of looking at our selves in terms of masculinity can get warped all to hell.

Besides this... how are we supposed to deal with it?

Women have support groups and whatnot. Men (again with society and conditioning here) are taught from basically a young age to bottle up their emotions, while GIRLS are told to do it whenever they have to. For example, a boy crying should "quit being such a sissy" and a girl crying is "aww the poor dear". We can't express how we feel to others and sometimes not even ourselves.

Basically guys would be affected EVEN WORSE than girls. Simply because there is no way for us to handle it and to move on. And that is why prison is a terrible place to be if you were convicted for rape (the tables are turned... bitch :D sorry but those guys deserve it).

mynameisjane

November 6th, 2007, 07:02 PM

R_master

November 6th, 2007, 07:54 PM

nah, that doesn't make you a whore. its a very understandable feeling to want to be loved & needed.

but it may be the wrong way to approach the situation, and you could end up hurting yourself a lot more than waiting for someone with mutual feelings.

Hyper

November 6th, 2007, 08:13 PM

Face it.. Social stereotypes come from examples

So getting a entirely one sided opinion is just stupid..

The fact is that some guys would actually enjoy it while alot of them won't

To summarize.. All is relative even if the rape victim was a woman

Maverick

November 6th, 2007, 08:17 PM

Face it.. Social stereotypes come from examples

So getting a entirely one sided opinion is just stupid..

The fact is that some guys would actually enjoy it while alot of them won't
It's a social stereotype that guys want to be raped? I don't think so. it is a social stereotype that guys like a lot of sex, which is completely different from wanting to be raped.

You can't 'want' rape otherwise its not rape. Rape is involuntary and unwanted. That contradicts your theory.

Hyper

November 6th, 2007, 08:21 PM

It's a social stereotype that guys want to be raped? I don't think so. it is a social stereotype that guys like a lot of sex, which is completely different from wanting to be raped.

You can't 'want' rape otherwise its not rape. Rape is involuntary and unwanted. That contradicts your theory.

Where did I say that it's a social stereotype that guys want to be raped your just assuming there :)

I didn't specify..

And what did you prove with your last line? Where did I use the word ''want''?

I said ''ENJOY'' not want

R_master

November 6th, 2007, 08:30 PM

well its not "all relative" since nobody enjoys rape..

if you enjoy rape, then the whole concept is void

thats more like surprise sex :)

Hyper

November 6th, 2007, 08:33 PM

well its not "all relative" since nobody enjoys rape..

if you enjoy rape, then the whole concept is void

thats more like surprise sex :)

Everything is relative.. Its a fact

It all comes down to different individuals.. And how they think

Maverick

November 6th, 2007, 08:34 PM

Where did I say that it's a social stereotype that guys want to be raped your just assuming there :)

I didn't specify..

And what did you prove with your last line? Where did I use the word ''want''?

I said ''ENJOY'' not want
Its really pointless to debate on nick picking of words and small phrases, what matters is the concept. If you aren't going to specify and make a point on anything then I'm wasting my time.

R_master

November 6th, 2007, 08:39 PM

Everything is relative.. Its a fact

It all comes down to different individuals.. And how they think

dude thats not a fact, thats a philosophy. big difference

i have a feeling you don't understand the concept of rape from the way you are expressing yourself

Hyper

November 6th, 2007, 08:43 PM

dude thats not a fact, thats a philosophy. big difference

i have a feeling you don't understand the concept of rape from the way you are expressing yourself

It is a fact that people think differently.. And all things, events are related to people so all is relevant..

And no I know what rape is.. I have seen enough people to say that there are all sorts of people out there who wouldn't even mind..

But I think they'd rather be guys than girls.

EDIT: And at Anthony if there's no point to it then don't do it yourself

Maverick

November 6th, 2007, 08:45 PM

EDIT: And at Anthony if there's no point to it then don't do it yourself
What is that supposed to mean?

R_master

November 6th, 2007, 08:58 PM

Hyper, you can't make a statement like that and completely skew it into a different meaning. you said everything is relative. not that people think differently. broad over-generalizations like that do not help your case.

your argument is nonsensical and fundamentally flawed as pointed out multiple times. so for those reasons i am not going to waste anymore time arguing, since really you're discrediting yourself more then i could in the first place.

***really sorry to the tc for throwing this discussion off course

Hyper

November 6th, 2007, 09:02 PM

What is that supposed to mean?

Means follow your own advise then..

Hyper, you can't make a statement like that and completely skew it into a different meaning. you said everything is relative. not that people think differently. broad over-generalizations like that do not help your case.

your argument is nonsensical and fundamentally flawed as pointed out multiple times. so for those reasons i am not going to waste anymore time arguing, since really you're discrediting yourself more then i could in the first place.

***really sorry to the tc for throwing this discussion off course

What? I don't get it.. I am using the statement to explain how I see it.. It is not broad over it is a basic concept in life...

My arguement simply is that it depends on the person and I think that is more likely that guys wouldn't feel bad about it.. Though I think a strong majority would.

byee

November 6th, 2007, 09:37 PM

thats an interesting way of looking at it.

going back to i am sam's reply, what if you're a person who is so lonely and so screwed up, you have sex with anyone, even if they dont care for you, not to get off but for emotional closeness, to feel attractive and needed and to be close to someone, even if its just for a night. you'd still be a whore, right?

You're not a whore, Jane. Just lonely.

Alot of peole do alot of things to fill that lonliness, for some it's sex. However, what most will tell you is that sex for that reason is still a pretty lonely experience.

If what you're looking for is that emotional closeness, that takes time, you have to build a relationship slowly and from the ground up. There are no short cuts. The good news is that most guys are really looking for that same closeness, too. You just have to find them.

mixedupfool

November 6th, 2007, 09:42 PM

depends to me,
i wouldnt mind if a girl raped me, i mean doesnt the male teenage mind just think about sex?

mynameisjane

November 7th, 2007, 12:49 AM

You're not a whore, Jane. Just lonely.

ITS HYPOTHETICAL!!!!!!!!!

im a virgin :]

but people would call her a whore. it doesnt matter whats really going on, this is what people see so she would be labeled a whore.

i'm just skeptical of your definition of a whore.

byee

November 7th, 2007, 01:29 PM

ITS HYPOTHETICAL!!!!!!!!!

im a virgin :]

but people would call her a whore. it doesnt matter whats really going on, this is what people see so she would be labeled a whore.

i'm just skeptical of your definition of a whore.

Please don't shout at me. I'm trying to help. If I've misunderstood, you might look at what you wrote here.

I have no way of knowing if this is hypothetical. I'm not sure why you need to speak cryptically about someone else. I'm pretty busy, I don't need to spend my time giving hypothetical answers to hypothetical situations.

And you're the one who used the term 'Whore'. Skepticism results when people don't have enough info to respond accurately.

mynameisjane

November 7th, 2007, 05:10 PM

no, i dont blame you for assuming it was me. i thought i should shout it because i should have specified it in the first place. it wasnt an angry shout. it was a suprised/embarassed shout. sorry for the misunderstanding. its actually about no one. i've never met anyone to my knowlege who felt that way. there might have been a story at some point but idk. but i can see how someone could feel that way. but i never said it was a problem i needed help with. i was just challenging what you said makes a person a whore.

Random3r

April 21st, 2011, 04:29 PM

depends on the woman! susan boyle id need some kind of therapy after but cheryl cole im not sure id class it as rape :) lol im not sure its physically possible for a woman to rape a man because men are naturally more built compared to women so i think the man would have a better chance of getting away???