I'm done

[HeartCoreHannah]

I'm so tired of trying not to cut because it "hurts" the people around me. Fuck them. They have no idea what I go through on a daily basis and if they were me, they'd probably cut too. Besides, my family doesn't like me 90% of the time. So why should my actions against MYSELF effect THEM? & why should I care? I'm done trying to change for people who don't give a fuck about me.


Eventually you get to the point where you don't care what happens and you're done trying to get better. I have and honestly, I feel better. Sounds nuts, right? Probably. But now that I'm not waking up everyday beating myself up because I cut or purged the night before, I feel so much better. It's not like I can honestly control what happens, so it is what it is.

On a brighter note: since I have no boyfriend and really have no friends on this fine and wonderful Valentine's Day, I'm getting drunk tomorrow night; well, I guess it's technically tonight, whatever.

Night everyone.

[SilentCutter]

Sounds like your mind is made up...I hope things get better for you. It's not like it's easy to stop cutting all at once, it takes time. We all have things that get us down, but it's us who decides if it'll keep us down. And you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, only yourself. I'm sure there are people who care what happens to you. I do, and I'll be your friend.
And getting drunk isn't doing your body and mind any good.

[xarvon1412]

Wow, I've never thought of it like that. I actually agree with you, and that's not common when it comes to pro-cutting. Hmm, well it sounds like you've made up your mind. Though I'll be your friend and care about you if you want me to :) I mean, I get your pain. I cut too, and well I understand how you feel. Yeah, I think beating yourself up over cutting isn't worth it, you're just making yourself feel worse, and that will just lead to more pain. I get it, and I understand. So yeah, if you ever want to talk or whatever, wall me, I'll get back to you as soon as I can :)

[HeartCoreHannah]

+Sounds like your mind is made up...I hope things get better for you. It's not like it's easy to stop cutting all at once, it takes time. We all have things that get us down, but it's us who decides if it'll keep us down. And you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, only yourself. I'm sure there are people who care what happens to you. I do, and I'll be your friend.
And getting drunk isn't doing your body and mind any good.

Thank you. Having a friend would be helpful. :)

Wow, I've never thought of it like that. I actually agree with you, and that's common when it comes to pro-cutting. Hmm, well it sounds like you've made up your mind. Though I'll be your friend and care about you if you want me to :) I mean, I get your pain. I cut too, and well I understand how you feel. Yeah, I think beating yourself up over cutting isn't worth it, you're just making yourself feel worse, and that will just lead to more pain. I get it, and I understand. So yeah, if you ever want to talk or whatever, wall me, I'll get back to you as soon as I can :)

I'm not pro cutting, at all. I hate to see anyone else self harm. It's a horrible addiction and I don't support it. I was just speaking from where I felt last night. I hate cutting and I want to stop, more than anything, but since I know it isn't going to be anytime soon, I'm not going to beat myself up over it if I do fail and cut.
Anyways, thank you. I appreciate you being willing to be my friend. :)

[xarvon1412]

+

Thank you. Having a friend would be helpful. :)



I'm not pro cutting, at all. I hate to see anyone else self harm. It's a horrible addiction and I don't support it. I was just speaking from where I felt last night. I hate cutting and I want to stop, more than anything, but since I know it isn't going to be anytime soon, I'm not going to beat myself up over it if I do fail and cut.
Anyways, thank you. I appreciate you being willing to be my friend. :)

I apologize for misunderstanding you. If you want to stop, then you have to beat yourself up over it. I mean, not necessarily beat yourself up, but you do have to have a lot of self control. It's not for everyone else, it's for you. You're doing this because you want to stop it. It can be sometime soon, and we can help you reach that goal. Try using the butterfly method, and if you don't have anybody's name to write down, you can use mine. I'm Aaron by the way, nice to meet you :)

[HeartCoreHannah]

I apologize for misunderstanding you. If you want to stop, then you have to beat yourself up over it. I mean, not necessarily beat yourself up, but you do have to have a lot of self control. It's not for everyone else, it's for you. You're doing this because you want to stop it. It can be sometime soon, and we can help you reach that goal. Try using the butterfly method, and if you don't have anybody's name to write down, you can use mine. I'm Aaron by the way, nice to meet you :)

That's okay. I can see where you would misunderstand. I was being ridiculousness and talking out my ass. :p
I have tried the butterfly project. I used to use my niece's name, because she is the most important person in my life. I love her more than antyhing. And when I would slip and cut, it would make me suicidal because I couldn't even stop for her. So I stopped doing that.
I'm Hannah and it's nice to meet you as well. :)

[WalkingOnDisaster]

Hey I know how you feel. I'm not here to make friends or talk much about myself, but if you need someone to just let you pour your worries to,im here for you.

[SilentCutter]

+

Thank you. Having a friend would be helpful. :)





No problem. We all need a friend:) I'm always here if you need to talk

[HeartCoreHannah]

Hey I know how you feel. I'm not here to make friends or talk much about myself, but if you need someone to just let you pour your worries to,im here for you.

Thank you. Same goes to you.

[Atonement]

So, I think I understand how you can feel relief by stopping trying to stop. Trying to stop can be very stressful, difficult, and pressuring. I think I get this and I'm happy you've thought through it and are acting with thoughts into your actions.

That being said, I do encourage you to keep trying to stop. If you have the power to reject what others want you to do or be, I would imagine you have the will to control your urges and behavior. You kept mentioning that you are sick of stopping because it hurts them (whoever they may be). However, why not stop for yourself? I recognize it's hard to fight for yourself when you're in a rut, but you are the greatest reason to take care of yourself. I will draw an analogy of getting in shape. Getting into shape to look good to your significant other is virtually impossible. It's shallow, difficult, and based in others. But if you get in shape for yourself and to be healthy, you're much more likely to succeed. Fight for yourself. You're worth it.

[HeartCoreHannah]

So, I think I understand how you can feel relief by stopping trying to stop. Trying to stop can be very stressful, difficult, and pressuring. I think I get this and I'm happy you've thought through it and are acting with thoughts into your actions.

That being said, I do encourage you to keep trying to stop. If you have the power to reject what others want you to do or be, I would imagine you have the will to control your urges and behavior. You kept mentioning that you are sick of stopping because it hurts them (whoever they may be). However, why not stop for yourself? I recognize it's hard to fight for yourself when you're in a rut, but you are the greatest reason to take care of yourself. I will draw an analogy of getting in shape. Getting into shape to look good to your significant other is virtually impossible. It's shallow, difficult, and based in others. But if you get in shape for yourself and to be healthy, you're much more likely to succeed. Fight for yourself. You're worth it.

I think this is the most inspiration? thing I have ever been told. If that makes sense? I don't know, but I do see what you're saying.
I am still trying to stop. It is hard, but I've done it once so I know I can do it again. Things are just stressful, at the moment so it's something I know I can always fall back on.