NZLD
February 11th, 2013, 07:49 AM
Here is the first 2 paragraphs of a story i am writting. All feedback welcome. (im only an amateur so don't be too harsh :P)
Reg arrived at school feeling trepedant and self-conscious due to the fact he had been battling insomnia, as much as he tried to fight it, his efforts were futile. Because of his unfortunate diagnoses the physical and mental side effects were apparent. Dark circles under his eyes plagued his appearance. The lack off sleep also prevented his mind from regathering, consequently making him delusional and disruptive. Along with the regular and renewed bruising on his body from his farther, it made him the most unpopular teen in school. No one wanted to be seen with 'that freaky weird kid covered in bruises' which he was so often referred to as.
Reg stood just outside the school gate. He stared at the entrance and watched his fellow pears standing in their little cliques. It was a cold morning, windy and wet. Which only added to the already bleak and depressing day. Just as Reg was contemplating ditching school for the day he noticed Michael walking towards the school gate. He turned around and acknowledged him before greeting him in a composed manor. Michael was the cliche 'school nerd' he was just as outcasted and had similar experiences of exclusion and betrayal as Reg. Because of this, the duo had gradually become closer, consequently forming a minor strain of solidarity.
Reg arrived at school feeling trepedant and self-conscious due to the fact he had been battling insomnia, as much as he tried to fight it, his efforts were futile. Because of his unfortunate diagnoses the physical and mental side effects were apparent. Dark circles under his eyes plagued his appearance. The lack off sleep also prevented his mind from regathering, consequently making him delusional and disruptive. Along with the regular and renewed bruising on his body from his farther, it made him the most unpopular teen in school. No one wanted to be seen with 'that freaky weird kid covered in bruises' which he was so often referred to as.
Reg stood just outside the school gate. He stared at the entrance and watched his fellow pears standing in their little cliques. It was a cold morning, windy and wet. Which only added to the already bleak and depressing day. Just as Reg was contemplating ditching school for the day he noticed Michael walking towards the school gate. He turned around and acknowledged him before greeting him in a composed manor. Michael was the cliche 'school nerd' he was just as outcasted and had similar experiences of exclusion and betrayal as Reg. Because of this, the duo had gradually become closer, consequently forming a minor strain of solidarity.