joeyy
February 9th, 2013, 01:39 PM
Hello Virtual Teen Forum,
For my "first" post on the site I'd like to start of saying that this is not my first time on the site. I found the Virtual Teen Forums during the lowest point in my life in 2009 when I was 13 (now 17), and searching for any possible means for help, and guidance. The people here somewhat helped for a short time, but I began to sink deeper into depression and was placed into three different psychiatric wards for a time period of around 8 months. They say that places like that will help you feel better about yourself and so on, but not me. Maybe it helps some people, but it wasn't for me. After the 8 month stay my parents insurance couldn't cover me anymore and I was forced to leave (thank god). As soon as I was released I started back into school and just rolled onward through the pointless lectures from my parents and teachers and life in general all while hiding away my depressed self. I stayed in school and waited until I turned 17 about half a year ago and then dropped out. I didn't drop out, because I couldn't do it I just did because I couldn't stand the amount of bull they put you through. I could do everything they threw at me, but I refused to sit there and play their dumb games. So I left and immediately took the GED exam, and got that out of the way. Now I'm stuck in a hole that I've been in my whole life, but I haven't realized until recently. I have no emotion. Sure I laugh, but when I do the only reason is to get someone to leave me alone. I could be the richest man in the world, have anything I wanted, but I would still feel like the most pointless thing in the universe. I lock myself in my room and I'm still living with my parents, and they push me to get a job, but there is nothing I want to do, because nothing makes me happy anymore. Happy is a child's word, and that's gone now. Some days I just want to blap myself and be done with it, but everyone has those days. Please don't make a post on this thread acting like you know what to say or to get rep, you will be criticized by me. I only want people with similar experiences to comment. Thanks.
- joe
For my "first" post on the site I'd like to start of saying that this is not my first time on the site. I found the Virtual Teen Forums during the lowest point in my life in 2009 when I was 13 (now 17), and searching for any possible means for help, and guidance. The people here somewhat helped for a short time, but I began to sink deeper into depression and was placed into three different psychiatric wards for a time period of around 8 months. They say that places like that will help you feel better about yourself and so on, but not me. Maybe it helps some people, but it wasn't for me. After the 8 month stay my parents insurance couldn't cover me anymore and I was forced to leave (thank god). As soon as I was released I started back into school and just rolled onward through the pointless lectures from my parents and teachers and life in general all while hiding away my depressed self. I stayed in school and waited until I turned 17 about half a year ago and then dropped out. I didn't drop out, because I couldn't do it I just did because I couldn't stand the amount of bull they put you through. I could do everything they threw at me, but I refused to sit there and play their dumb games. So I left and immediately took the GED exam, and got that out of the way. Now I'm stuck in a hole that I've been in my whole life, but I haven't realized until recently. I have no emotion. Sure I laugh, but when I do the only reason is to get someone to leave me alone. I could be the richest man in the world, have anything I wanted, but I would still feel like the most pointless thing in the universe. I lock myself in my room and I'm still living with my parents, and they push me to get a job, but there is nothing I want to do, because nothing makes me happy anymore. Happy is a child's word, and that's gone now. Some days I just want to blap myself and be done with it, but everyone has those days. Please don't make a post on this thread acting like you know what to say or to get rep, you will be criticized by me. I only want people with similar experiences to comment. Thanks.
- joe