In love and hating it, please help!!!

[DecNK11]

I have known this girl for a long time, infact since i started high school 4 years ago i think, i have fancied her for about a year and a half.

The thing is, we have been out twice, infact the 1st time we went out i dumped her, the problem is, ever since i finished her about a year ago i have been in love with her, i can't get her out of my head, i have even seen other people but i cant stop feeling the way i do, she is my friend which is good, but i know she will never go out with me :(

I have no idea what to do, it makes me depressed to look at her but she is perfect, if anyone has experienced something like this or has any advice please help!

Dec

ps. i know i used alot of commas, i am tired.

[byee]

I have known this girl for a long time, infact since i started high school 4 years ago i think, i have fancied her for about a year and a half.

The thing is, we have been out twice, infact the 1st time we went out i dumped her, the problem is, ever since i finished her about a year ago i have been in love with her, i can't get her out of my head, i have even seen other people but i cant stop feeling the way i do, she is my friend which is good, but i know she will never go out with me :(

I have no idea what to do, it makes me depressed to look at her but she is perfect, if anyone has experienced something like this or has any advice please help!

Dec

ps. i know i used alot of commas, i am tired.


Well, why did you dump her on the first date, then?!

It's been said that memory paints in soft pastels, that we remember things much more favorably than our experience does. Maybe there was a reason why you dumped her so fast and you've glossed over it?

[whiterecyclables94]

dude im in the same boat u are!!! i actually really like my best friend, she dumped me tho



I think that eventually you should tell her the way that you feel i think that you should tell her that you really really like her and you cant stop thinking about her. If you still want to remain friends then you should also tell her that you dont want this to be awkward between you 2 because sometimes if you tell someone how you feel or they find out from a friend it can get kind of awkward. I think that it is important that you eventually tell her how you really feel because then you dont have this weighing over your shoulders. If she doesn't like you she doesn't like you. You go through the sad part and you can still be friends!

[DecNK11]

the reason i dumped her in the 1st place was i was scared, i thought she was too good for me and i wanted to get out befor i got myself completely depressed, i decided to take another shot when i realised it was the worst decision ever. She dumped me after a week but i have been inlove with her since i started seeing her the 1st time. i half told her how i felt, i said i used to be inlove with her and that i got over it but still really like her, she knows i do still and we are good friends, i dont want to ruin it all by telling her i love her but i want to her to know, im scared to make the decision have you got a way that i can do it?

[byee]

Thanks for the clarification.

OK. Remembering that there are 2 ways to communicate (with words and deeds), maybe it would be more comfortable for you to communicate your feelings with your deeds, your behavior. Being attentive, smiling, laughing, eye contact, sitting close, maybe holding her hand, all communicate 'I like you" in a way that is at least as powerful, and easily understood, as saying the words. Then, when you're comfortable in the relationship, and confident of her approval, you can just say it.

[DecNK11]

thanks for the advice, i know i will be nervous to start with.
One thing though, I will resist the urge to hold her hand because that would probably freak her out, but i guess i can just see what happens, cross my fingers, and hope it will work.
You have help give me a boost and helped me think there might be a chance after all, if we get comfortable with each other, i can just tell her and she hopefully should be fine with it or even happy. And who knows? we might even manage to get back together, but for nowi will just concentrate on the two of us being close friends and telling her.
Once again thanks for the help you might not understand how much it helped but it did! all i used to know what to do was talk to her on I.M (uncomfortably and nervously) lol

[byee]

thanks for the advice, i know i will be nervous to start with.
One thing though, I will resist the urge to hold her hand because that would probably freak her out, but i guess i can just see what happens, cross my fingers, and hope it will work.
You have help give me a boost and helped me think there might be a chance after all, if we get comfortable with each other, i can just tell her and she hopefully should be fine with it or even happy. And who knows? we might even manage to get back together, but for nowi will just concentrate on the two of us being close friends and telling her.
Once again thanks for the help you might not understand how much it helped but it did! all i used to know what to do was talk to her on I.M (uncomfortably and nervously) lol


Thank you, it means alot to me to hear that my presence here is helpful! (I just LOVE the English, they're all so proper and polite..and I adore those accents of yours!).

Take your time here, just remember to give her the non verbal cues (smile alot at her, girls love that), and when the time feels right, just reach out and gently squeeze her hand for just a moment and let go. You're on the right track here.

[DecNK11]

actually i am from up north so i dont talk properly, i dont really have a strong accent but even though alot of people love the geordie accent, it is far from proper and polite... but cheers anyway