turtle guy
February 6th, 2013, 12:49 AM
Just as middle school was about to end, this kid that i have noticed for 2 years and sat in front of me randomly talked to me out of nowhere. i Thought nothing of it since i thought he was too cool for me. The day after he talked to me more which was surprising and we ended playing a game together, minecraft. In the last 2 months we actually became good friends, i couldnt believe i got the person i wanted as my friend to actually be my friend. When it was summer we would constantly talk on steam. We played alot of minecraft over the summer. After summer passed we were in high school, a place where friends are easy to lose. We were both freshmen and for the first time we planned to come over to each others house. After coming over for the first time we continually came to each others house. almost everyday of freshmen year was us going to eachothers house and hanging out. We then realized we had alot in common and we called ourselves the definition of best friends. We were basically brothers. We shared secrets we were scared to tell anyone else and discovered we had the same secrets. Literally everyone at school knew we were best friends even the teachers. We actually both worried that we would leave each other, we promised no matter what, we would always be best friends no matter how big of a fight we get into. Then the year began to end. After spring break he started drifting away from me, pushing me away. People told me that he said he thinks im annoying now and i follow him like a lost puppy. My only true friend, my best friend said that about me. then on that one horrible day, my worst nightmare came true. It was 6th period and as the bell rang for us to go home, he waited outside like he normally would. but i ignored him, and that one move, that one horrible move i did ruined my life. I ignored him because i wanted revenge mostly from him ignoring me when i want to talk to him. when i went home, i got on xbox and saw he deleted me. I asked why and he said he was just done. i tried so hard to get him back but he said hes finished. the way he said it burned into my brain. the day after i felt like dying and i wanted to. but i gave it one more shot to get him back. It worked, or i thought it did. he said he would be my friend again but the day after i thought it was all fixed. he deleted me again and when i asked why, the answer i got killed me literally. "I lied, i dont want to be your friend. i just said yes so i could get you to shut up and stop annoying me." When he said that my heart literally hurt. thats when i knew my best friend was gone. 1 hour after that happened i was ready to end my life. i took 32 pills and a bottle of medicine. I did not die, which i was actually sad about. I went an entire summer with no friends, stuck inside all day. wishing i had not of messed up. thinking i could have been laughing with him messing around at his house. but no, im on a computer all summer. and it really starts to mess with your head. I was waiting for school to start because i was ready to leave the house. When it was finally time for school, i hoped and wished i did not have a single class with him. sadly i had my first 2 periods with him. And ever since i never wanted to even look at him. or even talk to him. But for some reason, when ever i look up i see his head look away from me. He has even had the nerve to talk to me as if nothing has even happend. he has stopped that now but recently i broke down in 2nd period because for some reason i wanted him back so bad and felt like begging for his friendship again but i know he will reject me. To this day i truly do wear a painful smile on my face. Im lost on what to do, i want him back but at the same time i dont. i dont know if he will reject me...our story may seem short, but there is so much more to it.