Sephtyan
February 5th, 2013, 02:27 AM
I fear any sort of intimacy. I have trouble doing anything involving personal space or boundaries. I'm quite a social person, and I have no problem with making a fool of myself in public or even doing something like taking my shirt off as long as I'm in a large group or with a lot of friends. But if there are a lack of people, or I'm alone with someone, anyone, then I feel really uncomfortable about even taking my shoes off.
I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship. I understand that people can go into their 20's and it's still normal to not have had a love interest yet. And though it would be a nice perk [the Gauntlet of virginity ahoy!], I'm not looking for sex. My life is just a bit chaotic right now, and I would like to be able to experience having someone that I care about, that I trust and that I can be in a team with. It would be nice to have someone that feels for me in the same way.
I could have had a couple relationships in my life already, but my fear of intimacy has ruined it every time [not that it was a problem until now, I've never felt ready for a relationship until now, and yet now I can't do it :c]. I've had a couple good friends tell me that they'd like to take it further, but I can't get myself to go farther than to the "hanging out" stage before I start to shut down and avoid the person altogether out of fear of spontaneous combustion. I have many friends who are the preferred gender for relationships [girls], and I have no problem interacting with them on a friend level, even hugging hello and good-bye, but if I start thinking along the lines of any level of intimacy I shut down, my face goes red, and I can't think to do anything.
Anybody experienced this? Anybody have any ideas that I could try? I'm open to trying things; like I said, I feel mentally ready for a relationship, I just can't get past the intimacy part. :V
I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship. I understand that people can go into their 20's and it's still normal to not have had a love interest yet. And though it would be a nice perk [the Gauntlet of virginity ahoy!], I'm not looking for sex. My life is just a bit chaotic right now, and I would like to be able to experience having someone that I care about, that I trust and that I can be in a team with. It would be nice to have someone that feels for me in the same way.
I could have had a couple relationships in my life already, but my fear of intimacy has ruined it every time [not that it was a problem until now, I've never felt ready for a relationship until now, and yet now I can't do it :c]. I've had a couple good friends tell me that they'd like to take it further, but I can't get myself to go farther than to the "hanging out" stage before I start to shut down and avoid the person altogether out of fear of spontaneous combustion. I have many friends who are the preferred gender for relationships [girls], and I have no problem interacting with them on a friend level, even hugging hello and good-bye, but if I start thinking along the lines of any level of intimacy I shut down, my face goes red, and I can't think to do anything.
Anybody experienced this? Anybody have any ideas that I could try? I'm open to trying things; like I said, I feel mentally ready for a relationship, I just can't get past the intimacy part. :V