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View Full Version : Fear of intimacy


Sephtyan
February 5th, 2013, 02:27 AM
I fear any sort of intimacy. I have trouble doing anything involving personal space or boundaries. I'm quite a social person, and I have no problem with making a fool of myself in public or even doing something like taking my shirt off as long as I'm in a large group or with a lot of friends. But if there are a lack of people, or I'm alone with someone, anyone, then I feel really uncomfortable about even taking my shoes off.

I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship. I understand that people can go into their 20's and it's still normal to not have had a love interest yet. And though it would be a nice perk [the Gauntlet of virginity ahoy!], I'm not looking for sex. My life is just a bit chaotic right now, and I would like to be able to experience having someone that I care about, that I trust and that I can be in a team with. It would be nice to have someone that feels for me in the same way.

I could have had a couple relationships in my life already, but my fear of intimacy has ruined it every time [not that it was a problem until now, I've never felt ready for a relationship until now, and yet now I can't do it :c]. I've had a couple good friends tell me that they'd like to take it further, but I can't get myself to go farther than to the "hanging out" stage before I start to shut down and avoid the person altogether out of fear of spontaneous combustion. I have many friends who are the preferred gender for relationships [girls], and I have no problem interacting with them on a friend level, even hugging hello and good-bye, but if I start thinking along the lines of any level of intimacy I shut down, my face goes red, and I can't think to do anything.

Anybody experienced this? Anybody have any ideas that I could try? I'm open to trying things; like I said, I feel mentally ready for a relationship, I just can't get past the intimacy part. :V

AbbaZabba
February 5th, 2013, 07:34 AM
Me and my boyfriend were friends our whole lives till we became an item. So first, be friends first. Second, is communication and honesty, you need to talk to them about all your fears, we won't be the ones to help you, she will. With communication, if she cares for you, she'll listen, and help you over come your fears. Good luck.